The_Gneech
Explorer
In D&D, if a goblin is snarky at me I lop his rotten head off.
In real life, I say, "Yes, boss."
-The Gneech
In real life, I say, "Yes, boss."
-The Gneech
D&D vs. Real Life
- Thread starter francisca
- Start date
Jacob the Impaler
First Post
In D&D, I can get gored by a minotaur and be in fighting shape after a touch from a cleric.
In real life, a skinny girl punches me in the temple and it hurts to move my jaw for three days.
In D&D, I oust corrupt robber barons.
In real life, I can't talk my way out of speeding tickets.
In D&D, I load down donkeys with more loot than I can sell.
In real life, I work overtime to pay for gas.
In D&D, I can fend off a troll with a torch and a morningstar.
In real life, I can kick my dog off the couch if she's not too tired.
In D&D, I battle corruption in druid groves.
In real life, I got drunk and gave the park a lawn job.
In D&D, I don't have enough time for every beautiful women who wants me.
In real life, I get "friend" kisses every now and then, and get laid every time Jupiter makes a complete orbit.
In real life, a skinny girl punches me in the temple and it hurts to move my jaw for three days.
In D&D, I oust corrupt robber barons.
In real life, I can't talk my way out of speeding tickets.
In D&D, I load down donkeys with more loot than I can sell.
In real life, I work overtime to pay for gas.
In D&D, I can fend off a troll with a torch and a morningstar.
In real life, I can kick my dog off the couch if she's not too tired.
In D&D, I battle corruption in druid groves.
In real life, I got drunk and gave the park a lawn job.
In D&D, I don't have enough time for every beautiful women who wants me.
In real life, I get "friend" kisses every now and then, and get laid every time Jupiter makes a complete orbit.
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Yalius
First Post
In D&D, my battle cry is "For Justice and my Lord!"
In real life, my battle cry is "No, it's not going to be ready by lunchtime. Do you know how many viruses you have on here?"
In D&D, I'll travel to the ends of the world to right a wrong.
In real life, I order out for pizza if it's raining and I don't feel like walking to my car.
In D&D, what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
In real life, what doesn't kill me, probably will leave a scar and give me problems down the road.
In real life, my battle cry is "No, it's not going to be ready by lunchtime. Do you know how many viruses you have on here?"
In D&D, I'll travel to the ends of the world to right a wrong.
In real life, I order out for pizza if it's raining and I don't feel like walking to my car.
In D&D, what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.
In real life, what doesn't kill me, probably will leave a scar and give me problems down the road.
Jacob the Impaler
First Post
Slife said:
I meant the vulnerable area right behind the eye, not a place of worship.
Uh...I hope I didn't just ruin a pun.
Imperialus
Explorer
In D&D I can spend all my money on ale and wenches without concequence.
If I tried that in real life my liver would fail and it'd burn when I pee.
In D&D my druids animal companion will fight beside me, guard me in my sleep, and carry me on his back if I fall.
In real life I'm lucky if my dog looks at me when I call his name.
If I tried that in real life my liver would fail and it'd burn when I pee.
In D&D my druids animal companion will fight beside me, guard me in my sleep, and carry me on his back if I fall.
In real life I'm lucky if my dog looks at me when I call his name.
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Destil
Explorer
In D&D my companions are a convoluted group with antagonistic personalties, no common goals, little reason to work together and yet a nearly sublime synergy of abilities, strengths and weaknesses. Likewise if one should somehow disappear someone else amazingly arrives to take their place a few days later, at the most.
In real life my companions all get along rather well, share most of the same goals, usually work together out of hand and yet are often overspecialized within one or two fields of interest, strengths and weaknesses in such a way that one surprise can blindside the whole group. And if something happens to one of them it can be days, weeks, months, years or never that someone else replaces them.
In real life my companions all get along rather well, share most of the same goals, usually work together out of hand and yet are often overspecialized within one or two fields of interest, strengths and weaknesses in such a way that one surprise can blindside the whole group. And if something happens to one of them it can be days, weeks, months, years or never that someone else replaces them.
Hussar
Legend
In D&D that mysterious stranger in the corner wearing robes is going to offer you a job.
In Real Life, that mysterious stranger in robes is likely going to expose himself to someone soon.
In D&D, adventurers get antsy if they have to spend any down time.
In Real Life, I'm lucky to get a holiday once a year.
In D&D, my character could start with three, four languages.
In Real Life, after years of living in Japan, I can just about talk to a five year old.
In Real Life, that mysterious stranger in robes is likely going to expose himself to someone soon.
In D&D, adventurers get antsy if they have to spend any down time.
In Real Life, I'm lucky to get a holiday once a year.
In D&D, my character could start with three, four languages.
In Real Life, after years of living in Japan, I can just about talk to a five year old.
awayfarer
First Post
In D&D, I can play a stocky bearded dwarf with an affinity for axes, horned helmets and beer. Furthermore, I am exceptionally stable thanks to a sort of racial feat, tough to knock over and thanks to my constitution bonus and racial traits, I am highly resistant to poison.
In real life, I am a stocky, bearded human with an affinity for axes, horned helmets and beer because I think vikings are nifty. Furthermore, I'm exceptionally stable because of my needlessly large feet, I'm tough to knock over, and thanks to my liver, I am highly resistant to the effects of alcohol.
So really there's not much difference there.
In D&D, I can enter a berserk rage to slay the beast that is pulling me underwater, causing a spray of blood and flesh to roil in the waves.
In real life, I'm not allowed back into the town pool.
In real life, I am a stocky, bearded human with an affinity for axes, horned helmets and beer because I think vikings are nifty. Furthermore, I'm exceptionally stable because of my needlessly large feet, I'm tough to knock over, and thanks to my liver, I am highly resistant to the effects of alcohol.
So really there's not much difference there.
In D&D, I can enter a berserk rage to slay the beast that is pulling me underwater, causing a spray of blood and flesh to roil in the waves.
In real life, I'm not allowed back into the town pool.
