D&D vs. Real Life

[Kae'Yoss]

In D&D, I have unseen servant, disintegrate, wall of stone, and other magic to reshape the world around us.

In RL, I have a shovel, and a sore back the day after.


In D&D, villains have stylish catch-phrases like "Here I come, and the Hells come with me"
In RL, villains have catch-phrases like "you might have won, do you want to buy a magazine?"


In D&D, Magic Items that have malfunctions are a major incident and cause heroes from all over to quest for a solution.
In RL, Magic Items that have malfunctions are rebooted.

In D&D, I can inspire my heroic friends and allies with words of heroism and nobility, to help us defeat a monster that threatens the innocent.

In the real world, I can inspire the world to stand up and become heroes, so that we can all, together, make the world the place we dream it can be.

I want some of what you smoked

 

[francisca]

In D&D, I make 3 attacks per round, and with a high BAB, I usually hit at least once.

In real life, I can't kill this effing fly in my office, and if I don't soon, I'm reaching for the shotgun.

 

[WarlockLord]

In D&D, I am a potent drow anima mage. I can reshape the world at a whim, and am irresistable to the females.

In reality, I am a pathetic ordinary citizen, with no control over my life, who can't get a date.

Guess which I prefer?

 

[Kae'Yoss]

In D&D, I can multiclass on a whim when I level up, without ever learning about the stuff the new class brings.

In Real Life, using two different programming languages within 7 days of each other makes me mess up syntax for hours, getting weird errors. And to actually learn another job.....


In D&D, I think nothing of going on grand adventures with people I met in a tavern and spoke to for 2 minutes before something exciting happened.

In Real Life, if someone walked up to me and said "wanna go on a grand adventure", I'd get the cops.


In D&D, You can easily spot the servants of hell because they have a goatee, a sinister smile, a big fat pentagram around the neck, and wear all evil colours (and they routinely kill people in broad daylight).

In Real Life, there's probably lots of people on both hell's and heaven's payroll without either ever knowing about it (or the people, for that matter).


In D&D, I can hack at ors and monsters all day without any ill effect.

In Real Life, I'll be exhausted if I use a shovel for only a couple of hours.


In D&D, things always have to make sense, or the DM is booed off the stage.

In Real Life, nothing has to make sense, ever.

 

[Schmoe]

In D&D, you do exciting stuff.

In RL, you play D&D to do exciting stuff.

 

[Jeysie]

In D&D, I play charismatic characters who can win over suitors and influence high-up muckety-mucks with fancy words and witty repartee.

In RL, my cat is the only one who loves me, and even *he* doesn't listen to me.

***

In D&D, I can hit someone with a crossbow from 80ft away, tumble through enemies with ease, and wield a sword with some proficiency.

In RL, thanks to a nearsighted left eye and astigmatism in both eyes, I can hit the broad side of a blur... I mean, a barn... but anything moving is out of the question, even if it's a few feet away. The only tumbling I do is when my momentum proves to be a bit too much after I trip over my feet or walk into the wall again, and I've been known to accidentally cut myself with a butter knife.

Peace & Luv, Liz

 

[Ulrick]

In D&D, I usually play a bard--a jack of all trades and a master of none.

In real life, I'm a 7th year college senior working on a double major in English and Liberal Studies with a history minor. Oh yes. And I to do Karaoke, badly.

 

[Ender_rpm]

Ha, +1

In D&D, I can never pick a class, but tend towards Bards

IRL, I am in the Army, play bass and guitar, have a degree in poli sci, and dabble deeply in history. Now if I could just get that "fascinate" thing down on the redhead in teh back row...

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Oh yes. And I to do Karaoke, badly.

Aren't you supposed to do it badly? Doesn't Karaoke mean "to sing badly"?

In RL, thanks to a nearsighted left eye and astigmatism in both eyes, I can hit the broad side of a blur... I mean, a barn... but anything moving is out of the question, even if it's a few feet away. The only tumbling I do is when my momentum proves to be a bit too much after I trip over my feet or walk into the wall again, and I've been known to accidentally cut myself with a butter knife.

Which leads us to:

In D&D, critical fumble tables are optional.

(my glasses still have that scratch from when I played around with a metal ruler. Luckily, I wear those only on the weekend.)

 

[Slife]

In D&D the people that are heavily taxing citizens are obviously villians.

In real life, the people that are heavily taxing citizens are the government

Po-Tay-To Po-Tah-to.


(Not referring to any government in particular here.)