Barsoomcore, you're dead wrong here. Because this sentence actually describes me in the 1990s quite precisely, I know from considerable experience that this particular transformation you describe does not make a difference. The fact that 100,000 people think you should be premier or that you can out-debate cabinet ministers with no preparation or receive a standing ovation from 200 strangers does not stop people viewing you as a "socially awkward loser" for dating purposes.barsoomcore said:
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NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
Dating Myth or Truth?
- Thread starter fusangite
- Start date
I'd call it a Myth
I know that a woman's first impressions can change.
Take this as an example:
My wife and I meet at a party thrown by for a couple of mutual friends. Both of us, figured out about 2 min. after meeting each other that the other person was a jerk....
Flash forward 6 months: The mutual friends who threw the party announced that they were getting married and that my future wife and I were both in the Wedding party. Being good friends both of us ignored our dislike for each other and tried to be civil to each other the few times the wedding party got together.
Being civil led us to get to know each other better, and low and behold a few days after our friend's wedding we ended up on our first date.
We got married a couple years later, and after a number of years show no signs of being anything but happy with the situation.
I guess I'm saying the same thing everyone else is. Most people make a decision on another person in the first few min. they know them. That view of the person only changes when outside forces make them get to know/give them a reason to question their first impressions.
I know that a woman's first impressions can change.
Take this as an example:
My wife and I meet at a party thrown by for a couple of mutual friends. Both of us, figured out about 2 min. after meeting each other that the other person was a jerk....
Flash forward 6 months: The mutual friends who threw the party announced that they were getting married and that my future wife and I were both in the Wedding party. Being good friends both of us ignored our dislike for each other and tried to be civil to each other the few times the wedding party got together.
Being civil led us to get to know each other better, and low and behold a few days after our friend's wedding we ended up on our first date.
We got married a couple years later, and after a number of years show no signs of being anything but happy with the situation.
I guess I'm saying the same thing everyone else is. Most people make a decision on another person in the first few min. they know them. That view of the person only changes when outside forces make them get to know/give them a reason to question their first impressions.
barsoomcore
Unattainable Ideal
Well, our experiences are different. This is, I'm pretty sure, a good thing.fusangite said:
And the good seems weighted in my favour, in this particular case, since I've found standing ovations have boosted my stock considerably. Sorry about that.
Stone Angel
First Post
Well thinking some one is good looking and finding them attractive aren't the same thing.
So she might decide that you are good looking(always a plus) but if you are an ass it is to no avail.
Hold on I will get some woman perspective.
Well official input is this that it just depends. But mostly yes, it is determined within the first few minutes, but can take up to all night.
The Seraph of Earth and Stone
So she might decide that you are good looking(always a plus) but if you are an ass it is to no avail.
Hold on I will get some woman perspective.
Well official input is this that it just depends. But mostly yes, it is determined within the first few minutes, but can take up to all night.
The Seraph of Earth and Stone
Impeesa
Explorer
Henry said:Extrapolating from Rel's and Eric's thoughts, you could almost work this into a general rule about first impressions and human interaction. Remember also that first impressions can happen more than once. Think about the "native son" effect - if you are a total stranger to a place, stay there a while, even as an outsider, then go away, and then come back, people are more disposed to treat you as an INSIDER returning home. Weird, huh?
The same thing or a variant could apply to a woman's first impression of whether or not her date gets lucky.
Hm. That must be it. I met my girlfriend of 5 years and very likely future wife when we were both in about grade 1. Maybe earlier, it's a little hazy. I'm pretty sure neither of us made that "yeah, I'd do him/her" decision right then and there, though... that took a few more years of getting to know each other off and on, and the more mature perspective that the intermediate grades bring.
--Impeesa--
Rel
Liquid Awesome
Impeesa said:Hm. That must be it. I met my girlfriend of 5 years and very likely future wife when we were both in about grade 1. Maybe earlier, it's a little hazy. I'm pretty sure neither of us made that "yeah, I'd do him/her" decision right then and there, though... that took a few more years of getting to know each other off and on, and the more mature perspective that the intermediate grades bring.
--Impeesa--
I met my wife when we were both around 7 years old. Eight years later we started to be friends. Two years after that we began dating. Six years after that we got married. Ten years after that we've never been happier.
Monty Haul
First Post
Where is this? Is this a motel? what?Crothian said:
Isn't it the reverse normally? I mean: "You are not really (at least not yet) into her"Crothian said:
Or try to earn a couple of millions dollars extremely quickly. THAT would make for a great chance.Cyberzombie said:
Mmmh... Sounds intriguing. What stupid thing the poster prevented you to do? Please tell us.fusangite said:
(Don't ask about the name and avatar, don't welcome for the first post, it's just temporary...
)
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Queen_Dopplepopolis
First Post
I think that the theory is iffy. True, most women decide whether or not they will accept a man's advances in a "trying to pick you up" sort of way. However, I do not think that first impression persists once it becomes a "I really, really like you will you please go on a date with me" type thing. (I don't know if this makes any sense)
Say you're at a bar - you see a woman you find attractive. She will give you the once over and, at that point, probably determine whether or not she thinks you are worth her time.
If you meet in a situation where she does not think of you as trying to pick her up - say, at work... her opinion would drastically change. She would be more willing to get to know you as a friend, and make her decision about mate-hood based more on than than on the initial impression.
However, I am of the "went on a day with the man that would become husband and knew I would spend forever with him" school. (we met through mutual friends/D&D... so, I assessed his personality much before I assessed his date-ability)
Say you're at a bar - you see a woman you find attractive. She will give you the once over and, at that point, probably determine whether or not she thinks you are worth her time.
If you meet in a situation where she does not think of you as trying to pick her up - say, at work... her opinion would drastically change. She would be more willing to get to know you as a friend, and make her decision about mate-hood based more on than than on the initial impression.
However, I am of the "went on a day with the man that would become husband and knew I would spend forever with him" school. (we met through mutual friends/D&D... so, I assessed his personality much before I assessed his date-ability)
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