Dating someone older or younger- seriously.

[UltimaGabe]

Hey, everyone.

I've been wondering something lately... is there anyone out there who's dated someone of a different age than them? Now, I'm not talking a year's difference- I mean, has anyone out there dated someone three or more years older or younger than them? If so, did it work? How was it viewed? Did anyone give you crap about it? Did the other person's parents have a good or bad opinion of the relationship?

Now, I know lots of people are going to want to say things like, "It doesn't matter what people think or how old you are, it depends on how you feel about it" or something like that. Well, that's not what I'm looking for- personally, I DO care how people view my relationships, because if I'm going to date someone, I don't want my friends to view my relationship in a negative manner, and I sure as heck don't want my partner's parents (or my parents) giving me crap about it. So is there anyone out there who's been in such a situation? How did it go?

 

[Darrin Drader]

I've always been turned on by older women. While I can't say that I ever dated one, I would have done so unapologetically had the right person come along. Age isn't really a good way to determine compatibility.

So is your girl older or younger? And how old are you?

 

[Varianor Abroad]

Married someone 4 years older after I dated her for a while. No one ever gave us grief (but we started dating in our late 20s) and we didn't really think about it much. Still married a month shy of ten years later. I think it's up to the people involved to figure out if they're compatible. Age has little relevance unless one of you is below the age of consent. Then I would run, not walk....

 

[Jdvn1]

I know of two couples in which the people are separated by ten years. And 'couples' as in 'have been married for quite a while.'

Everyone I know is okay with the age difference -- it's not even an issue.

 

[UltimaGabe]

I've always been turned on by older women. While I can't say that I ever dated one, I would have done so unapologetically had the right person come along. Age isn't really a good way to determine compatibility.

So is your girl older or younger? And how old are you?

I'm currently 19. A few months ago I began to grow attracted to a girl I work with (who was, I believe, somewhere in the vicinity of 24 or 25, possibly a year or two older than that, though I doubt it). I never made a move and eventually got over it, because I saw very little that she and I would have in common (since I often feel I don't have many mature interests for my age, whereas I know that she does). Not only that, but for the last year or two I've constantly found myself attracted to younger girls- that is, people around 15 or 16. None of these have developed into anything, but considering the criticizing reactions I've seen other friends of mine get when they've been attracted to 17-year olds, I (of course) haven't acted upon or even told anybody about these attractions.

 

[Nifft]

When I was 18, I dated a 30 year old. It was fun.

When I was 28, I dated a 19 year old. That was fun too. The teacher was on the other... foot... so to speak. *ahem*

Everyone will give you crap about dating if you look happy. They're probably jealous or something. Try to look frustrated and complain a bit if you want people to avoid talking about it (and thereby giving you crap).

-- N

 

[Crothian]

I dated a woman who was older by about 4 or 5 years. No big deal at all especially as you both get older.

 

[briac]

When I was 22 I started dating someone I work with who was 5 and a half years older than me. She even had two kids, to make a long story short we will be celebrating our 6 year anniversary this month. The only advice I will give is to try not to worry what other people think about your relationship. Of course it was easy for me none of my friends cared one way or another.

 

[reanjr]

This question is very dependent upon the specific ages involved. A 10 year difference is insignificant for 60-50 couple, but dramatic for a 25-15 couple. Sadly, there is also a severe gender bias. At that age range, I don't think you'll take a huge amount of flak for it. There will certainly be those who lend a strange glance to the situation, but we're not talking a massive difference here.

 

[Arbiter of Wyrms]

My wife is 25. I'll be 31 next month. No age problem there. No problems with family. No problems with friends. No problems with employers or with the CIA. No problems.

My parents were ten years apart, and the age difference was never the problem.

Before I got married, I used to consistently date women about two years older than I.

That said, I have to strongly recommend that you not date minors if you are an adult. That's just bad policy. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to minors, but acting on that attraction can be bad news: you don't want to be registered as a sex offender.