• NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.

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Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.
 

As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."

***

God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
 

A Cub Scout troop was half an hour late to its den meeting. The den mother
asked them severely, “Why are you so late?”
“Oh,” said one boy, “we were helping an old man cross the street.”
“That’s nice, but it shouldn’t make you half an hour late.”
“Well, you see,” said another boy, “he didn’t want to go.
 

Question: "What proof do you have that Iraq has Weapons of Mass Destruction?"
Colin Powell: "We kept the receipts."
 

Really bad pickup lines:

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Be unique and different, say yes.

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine. (I've had this one used on me)

A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, "Look ... I'm sorry, but I'm just not your type. I'm not inflatable" :lol:
 




Into the Woods

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