Describe your last RPG session in more than 5 words.


Mod Squad
Staff member
My players began a new campaign last night, in which they'll be going Wild Beyond the Witchlight....

But first, because a couple of them are really old-hand RPG players, but haven't played 5e, I gave them a "characters meeting on the road" prelude, in which they had to deal with a few goblins that had set up a "fortress" at the side of the road from which to extort money from travelers. The scenario came from Prepared, from Kobold Press, and was entitled "The Impregnable Fortress of Dib".

"I am Dib! This is my impregnable fortress! (pause)... Which you have... pregnated..."

The party made expectedly quick work of Dib's cohort, and captured Dib himself and one of his group. Since Dib was funny, I expect Dib is going to manage to escape and follow the party into the Feywild, for repeated comic impact.

Anyone here see the Dennis Quaid/Kathleen Turner movie, Undercover Blues? In it, Stanley Tucci plays an incompetent small time crook who calls himself Muerte who follows the heroes desperately trying to get his revenge on them, and failing comically. That's gonna be Dib. At least, if they don't kill him....
Last edited:

log in or register to remove this ad


Need Players
After a huge 12 month campaign bringing his character from a mere nobody, and by ruthless scheming, murdering, fighting fey monsters, and also bargaining/manipulating with other players to become Emperor of the Wyrmkyn City State Empire, Rog declared, "I won! I won the game! I am Emperor!" (in Immortal Empires RPG for Mature Players, it is indeed the goal to become Emperor/Empress, as well as an Immortal).

After he relished in his own smugness, I did indeed congratulate him, then let the hammer drop: "Well, Rog, you are the Empress's husband, but you hold no real power; you don't have Imperium. You're really just the first in a 'harem' of lovers. The army and guards only do the Empress's bidding.

Rog didn't look deflated at all. He just told his servant to invite the Empress to his bedchambers that evening for a bit of wooing and desserts. When I as Storyteller was calculating in my mind how the Empress probably would not give in to such wooing (after all, she was 60% lesbian...), he said under his breath, "Time to kill the Empress!"

aramis erak

My players did the smart thing when half the party is down... leave the mission unfinished and flee ...
They're raiding a prisoner transport. Have been for three sessions, counting last night.
They've grabbed the important ones (Kanan, Hera) and some mob goons... but they run into a repeating blaster nest in the 4th bank of prisoners... The twi'lek sniper goes prone, the Survivor Padawan charges with the captured lightsaber... red one... and across a turn break, kills the squad of minion adversary goons, then the Sergeant on the repeater... they take the repeater. And skip the last two halls, as only 2 PCs are still conscious...

they bail out of the transport while it's in hyperspace, make the really rough roll to get out in one piece... and find their way back to Alderaan... payouts... shoppie store... new transponder, on the YT-2000 thanks to "Phoenix" (Prince Bail).
Then to tatooine... to turn over Jabba's spy, who Gardulla had hired the Twilek to kill... Gardulla is present, mostly unwillingly, when Jabba orders the guards away from her... turns to Gida, the Twi'lek sniper, and points to the infamous dropgate button... "You may choose..."
Gida declines to execute Gardula. Jabba laughs... And points out Gardula's debt...

The Wookie's shoppie store? tricking out her vibroaxes... Weighted heads for +2 damage, precision edges for better penetration and reduced crit threshold (down to one...). they guilt trip her into buying armor.

aramis erak

Wed Star Wars: due to a spectacularly bad calculation, they exit the galaxy, find a 300° K 1/2 AU diameter Sphere... they go just far enough in to meet the local Guardian... eventually the Padawan survivor gives up her uncut illum crystal for some Morality return. Lowhhrick stayed aboard ship, and Gardula (A Hutt passenger) tried to steal the ship and strand the crew... by using her lacky while she distracts Lowhhrick... It goes not well for the hutt's minion...
They head back to the galaxy...
... And offload at Jabba's... having informed him she acted against employees of his Kadjik... big embarrassment for Gardulla... not to mention the Cr50,000...


Anyone here see the Dennis Quaid/Kathleen Turner movie, Undercover Blues? In it, Stanley Tucci plays an incompetent small time crook who calls himself Muerte who follows the heroes desperately trying to get his revenge on them, and failing comically. That's gonna be Dib. At least, if they don't kill him....
I want to see it. Somehow missed it when it came out.


Catching up with the story, 5 words at a time.

Adventure #1: The Job
Session #1: Canyon chase of Kobok pirates.
Session #2: Lurrians welcome predators for study.
Session #3: He's outside. Must rent Ton-Tons.
Session #4: The Mighty Ono goes down.
Session #5: Lurrian gene master transforms acquisition.
Session #6: Pirate attack! Plans go awry!
Session #7: Zero-G maneuvers; Rescue hostages.
Session #8: Passenger plants bomb. Dead Jawa.
Session #9: Everything falling apart. Sell snubfighter.
Session #10: Meet with snivvian information broker.
Session #11: Drag races and blaster ambushes.
Session #12: Planning assault on slave compound.
Session #13: Plan implemented. They rescue Varlo.
Session #14: Everyone gets boarded some time.
Session #15: Illegal bank deposit. Guildmaster angry!
Adventure #2: The Runaway
Session #16: COMPNOR job on glare world.
Session #17: Human intel. Booze brand matters.
Session #18: Biker assassin in foil jungle.
Session #19: Swamp people are tough people.
Session #20: We have to rescue kid.
Session #21: Tie Fighters are our friends.
Adventure #3: Labor Relations
Session #21: Inquisitor would like a word.
Session #22: Contracted to reacquire stolen freighter.
Session #23: Baron is a terrible person.
Session #24: Disgruntled employees and shady contractors.
Session #25: Search sectors of dust cloud
Session #26: Big fight in asteroid field.
Session #27: Nope, no way. We're leaving.
Mini Adventure: The Decker Job
Session #28: Illegal slicer at spice rave.
Session #29: Our Hunters shoot up everything.
Mini Adventure: Domestic Dispute
Session #30: Sort of like the Amish
Session #31: But also kung fu masters
Adventure #4: Cold Hearted
Session #32: Droid firefight at plasticrete factory
Session #33: Droid firefight on subway car
Session #34: Suicide drones on a houseboat
Session #35: Looking around for Dr. Fist
Session #36: Rented van sacrificed for mission.
Session #37: Gun down villain on rooftop.
Adventure #5: Plague of Lies
Session #38: Bounty hunting is complicated profession.
Session #39: Pretend investigation hides real one.
Session #40: Dragons scarier than Tie Fighters
Session #41: Don't dance with an AT-ST
Session #42: Huff the Fish goes down.
Adventure #6: Slaves of the Sith Lord
Session #43: Took work as local marshals
Session #44: Investigation proceeds slowly - skunk fern
Session #45: Meticulous investigation bears some fruit.
Session #46: Found the old wraith city.
Session #47: Collected Bounty on AWOL Scouts.
Adventure #7: A Corrupted Flesh
Session #48: Hunting a politically connected cyberneticist
Last edited:

aramis erak

Wed SW:
Crashed, Endor. Repairs. Backup Hyperdrive.
They were trying to rescue a Black Sun Vigo from an Imperial interdiction event... they got him, and 33 other imperial prisoners... onto their YT-2000....
And then not one astrogation roll succeeded...
So, after a series of bad bad rolls, they're crashed, on Endor, 2.5 years of the Empire... Survival rolls from the crash land on Endor... stripping down one of their speeder bikes to get the ship flying again...

One of them gets kidnapped by Ewoks, the others rescue them in the nick of time, by using the Force and comms.

And they're finally meeting some people who want a rebellion....

Plus, they need to go back, once they get their hyperdrives (main and backup) fixed.... 14 weeks with 35 souls aboard a freighter with only LS for 18 people and 9 weeks...
Now, on Dantooine, they've found out that, in the three months out of touch, Gaedula renigged on a debt to them, Jabba wants repayment for expenses, and there is a Vigo waiting to ask why they skipped out on a debt....


The druid (surgeon) of the ship visited the fungitorium*, the autognome visited the construct builders club, the rogue secured some official school letterhead, and we wrapped up with a Silkball game.

* A fungi exhibit


We're exploring a "dungeon" consisting of a flooded city with corridors and rooms consisting of air bubbles, no actual walls. I'm scouting and see a Huge shark about 50 feet up. Like a good scout, I lead the party past it - no need to fight it. We get to the end of the air tunnel. I step out of the bubble and the shark heads toward me joined by a swarm of fish. As a swashbuckler, I'm doing hit-and-run attacks against the swarm and ducking back into the bubble. The shark does stupid damage, but fortunately it also attacks the swarm. Things are going...okay. Then the halfling wizard turns into a lightning bolt and "flies" past both and discovers a jellyfish that does psychic damage, has a 60' reach, and tremorsense through water. It hits the wizard, grappling him, who is now grappled and unconscious. We're already in a tough fight, we triggered 3 encounters, and our wizard is about to die.

I get hasted, dash over to the jelly, attacking with Advantage. Now, i have a helm which gives me a bonus to hit but on a 1 I take a lightning bolt, which is why the Halfling has it (reroll 1s). Taking this in water would be very bad. I roll 2 1s. Everyone gasps a bit. Then I remind them I'm a Halfling. I reroll both and roll 16 and 20. Crit and on top of that, roll close to max damage. I use the haste action to heal the wizard (potion), grab him, and get back in the bubble. Most of the damage to the shark was done by me because noone else wanted to fight in the water.

I mostly attack with Booming Blade and in 8 levels had yet to hit the extra damage for the target moving so it felt pretty good to be the mvp in a fight.


Scion of Murgen (He/Him)
I mostly attack with Booming Blade and in 8 levels had yet to hit the extra damage for the target moving so it felt pretty good to be the mvp in a fight.
Hopefully if your Booming Blade targets never move, that's giving you a significant edge in combat. It's always extra frustrating when you have a Controller-type ability, something that prevents an opponent from moving, and then party members don't think about it, move up to them and let the baddie take their attacks without having to take the damage. Or worse, get swings they would have been completely denied.


Hopefully if your Booming Blade targets never move, that's giving you a significant edge in combat. It's always extra frustrating when you have a Controller-type ability, something that prevents an opponent from moving, and then party members don't think about it, move up to them and let the baddie take their attacks without having to take the damage. Or worse, get swings they would have been completely denied.
Yeah, usually they get stuck in combat with allies. It does make me largely immune to damage. That fight nobody wanted to get into combat so that helped. Next level, I get the Swashbuckler's charm ability that gives opponents disad attacking anyone but me so that will help on damage. Or give me a big controller ability. Either is fine since I recently became not the biggest damage dealer - the barbarian got a weapon that does 2d psychic on every hit.


Session #40: Dragons scarier than Tie Fighters.

The crew of the Dogfish had just jumped into the Keosnapi system at the end of the last session. To avoid the Imperial fleet that they knew to be operating in the system, they jumped into the back side of Keosanpi IV, a medium size gas giant with a spectacular ring system and many moons. The put the dog fish into the edge of the ring system and powered it down, and then spent the next 10 hours manning the comm system hoping the rebel agent would be able to activate the hyperspace distress beacon again so that they could pinpoint more exactly where the rebel agent on Keosnapi III could be found. The secret equipment the presumed rebel cell had installed on the ship duly detected the distress beacon, narrowing the location down to a 150km circle on the planet's surface. Following the methods, the smuggler had given them for blockade running they moved in on Keosnapi III, intending to get about 500,000 kilometers from the planet. However, they followed a fairly straight-line path between Keosnapi III and Keonapi IV and unluckily came within a few 10's of thousands of kilometers of a flight of Tie Fighters. Fortunately, they were moving cautiously and powered down the engines and the unsuspecting Ties zipped by on full burn without noticing the converted freighter. Long range sensor training was clearly deficient in the Imperial military.

Arriving about 500,000 km from the Keosnapi III after a "slow" 4-hour flight on sub-light engines (at what amounts to 4% light speed but let's not think about physics while playing Star Wars), the crew put the ship to drift and powered down most of the systems and then started manning the long-range scopes. From here, most things were a blur, but after about 2 hours of observation they managed to resolve a single pixel in orbit of the planet that had to be at minimum the largest ship or grouping of ships in the Imperial blockade. They debated plotting an in system hyperjump and jumping immediately but decided that a precision in system jump like would be too difficult to calculate in the two-hour window they had, so they decided to wait until the next window 12 hours from then. Jumping through hyperspace is not like dusting crops.

Twelve hours later the target area of the planet began rotating into the field of vision, just on the shadowed night side. They punched the hyperdrive knowing from observation that it would be about 2 hours before the presumed Imperial fleet completed its orbit of the planet. They jumped into orbit, only to find a Tie fighter picket. This time, the Imperials were more alert and the Dogfish crew less fortunate, and the Tie's barrel rolled and tightly turned to intercept the blockade runner - presumed hostile because its transponder was turned off. Four ties screamed down on the Dogfish firing their blasters with precision. But at this point, at 68 meters long and heavily armored and shielded, attacking the Dogfish is practically like attacking a small capital ship. The Tie's long-range fire was accurate but didn't even stress the operator of the shield console or shake the passengers. Overconfident as usual, the Imperial pilots had neglected to take an evasive approach but screamed down in a tight formation straight at the medium freighter, expecting to be able to damage it before receiving return fire. One of the pilots nearly paid dearly as the glancing hit from one of the Dogfish's two turrets destroyed his blaster array and caused his console to throw arcs of plasma as the capacitors exploded. The four fighters screamed together down at the Dogfish from close range, attempting to concentrate fire on the Dogfish's primary thrusters, but the poor angle, the fact that one tie had just lost its blasters, and the unexpected nimbleness of the ship as it rolled and swerved out of the attack caused the coordinated strafing run to miss entirely. Despite the attempts of the Tie's to evade fire, at this close range the gunners aboard the Dogfish proved lethal, scoring a glancing blow on the lead tie that sent it spinning out of control and blowing engine on the already damaged Tie, forcing the pilot to eject. The other two ties snap turned and sent more fire onto the converted medium freighter, but with only two Ties and a single angle of attack, their strafing run was futile against as heavily of armed ship as the Dogfish. As they passed over the top of the ship's hull, one of them exploded in a ball of plasma was it was caught in the fire of the Dogfish's port side weapon emplacement, instantly killing the pilot. The veteran flight leader though nimbly dodged the blaster fire of the starboard emplacement despite (or perhaps because) still not being fully in control of his ship.

It was at this point that the Imperial's realized that their coms had been jammed. The more junior surviving pilot transmitted in the clear that their comms where jammed and they couldn't raise the fleet. The two ships linked up and tried to evade the now pursuing freighter - hunters turned into prey - but a lucky shot struck the flight leader and exploded the nimble but fragile fighter. Amazingly, the veteran managed to eject right as his ship disintegrated. Seeing this, the junior pilot panicked and decided that only by speed was he going to survive this situation. He punched out on full thrust and started rapidly putting distance between himself and the much slower freighter but travelling in straight lines under fire from skilled gunners is not healthy. A blaster shot separated one of his energy dissipaters from this ship, and he too punched out as his ship disintegrated around him. But despite three pilots surviving the loss of their ships, the battle would not have a happy ending for the imperials. Concerned about operational security, the bounty hunters ruthlessly and in violation of the laws of warfare hunted down the helpless pilots - their distress beacons jammed - as they drifted in space and gunned them down like the terrorists the Imperials very much believed them to be. In space, no one can hear you scream.

The Dogfish now raced down to the planet's surface, anxious to get to ground before the bulk of the Imperial fleet and something more dangerous to them than line Ties arrived. The planet itself was pockmarked with many fires, burning through its verdant jungles, showing signs of orbital bombardment. This did have the advantage of filling the atmosphere with smoke that cloaked the descending ship from ground sensors. The area of the planet that the signal arrived from proved to be an upland river valley, about 1500m above sea level with peaks framing it as much as 4500m high. Surveying the dense jungle for a likely place to hide the ship, they decided against several sink holes before luckily finding a large cave in the side of a mogote, which with a nimble piloting check they squeezed into without incident, finding the interior almost ideally suited for hiding a large ship. They then sat down with the comms console expecting a long wait before the next signal. Unexpectedly, after only 30 minutes of listening, they got their second hit, which the computer resolved to a one square kilometer area only 48 kilometers away from their current hiding spot. After debating the best approach, they loaded up on their newly purchased speeder bikes and cautiously headed out into the nighttime jungle, moving cautiously owing to the difficult terrain and darkness.

The night proved less hazardous than feared, as the red dwarf companion star some 3 light months away from the Keosnapi primary bathed the night side of the planet in an eerie red light with similar brightness to a large moon. About a half-hour into their journey there was a brief scare when 4 tie bombers swooped out of the cloud cover and launched volley after volley of photon torpedoes at some target which fortunately proved to be about 7 kilometers away. They powered down their speeders and hid in the thick undergrowth, hearing but not seeing screaming Tie's nearby and the sounds of heavy battle occurring in the distance. After things quieted down, they continued their journey, the full scale of the Maavan conflict becoming real to them for the first time. Thirty minutes later and the bounty hunters arrived in a narrow lush valley, the center of which was dominated by an ancient cinder cone, it's sides now lush with ferns and cycads and they began to search for the agent they had been paid to recover. Thirty minutes of searching though proved futile, a kilometer of jungle proving to be easy to hide in. The party decided to make a temporary camp long enough to set up their sensors and get a good reading. Taro, the ex-Republic commando, took out his macronoculars and began to survey the surrounding foliage. To his surprise he discovered high in the fern trees only about 100 meters away a glint of metal and a hidden bivouac. But at that exact moment, a large pack of long-legged 3-meter-long lizards charged the hunters through the heavy undergrowth. Concealed by the bracken and moving, the gracile dragons largely managed to avoid the blaster fire and were soon right upon the hunters, slavering and pouncing.

Were it not for the fact the hunters are strong in the force, they might well have become lizard food that night. (To be continued...)
Last edited:

aramis erak

Sunday Talisman, we were largely not feeling up to it with EO out... so we got Once More Into the Void to table... very interesting. must run again. We handily defeated the space-locusts...

Avalon, the AD&D1e party.
Necromancer vanishes; violence at funeral.
The noble family Dixon produced a necromancer a couple of generations ago. He died and was entombed near the obscure village of Hill End. Two years ago, undead were sighted in the area, and some low-level adventurers investigated and found the tomb opened, the false burial chamber intact, and the real, hidden chamber robbed. The local dwarven miners walled up the entrance to the tomb.

A couple of weeks ago, undead were reported in the area again. We were asked to investigate, and started with the Dixon family in the capital, who had suffered the theft of all the material related to the necromancer from the family archives. This was almost certainly done by the baron's niece, Amber Dixon, who is a magician, a rebel against her upbringing, and in trouble with the local magical college for being too interested in necromancy.

It's the middle of a cold winter, with a lot of snow, so Amber may have thought she was safe from interference. However, we have a priest of Travel & Trade with effective weather-protection magic, and got to Hill End with little difficulty. Last session we went up to the tomb and found the wall broken down from the inside, and some skeletons guarding the tomb who resisted turning, showing that their controller was around. After bashing a few, we found ourselves in conversation with a voice who was either Amber Dixon, or really good at cold reading. We never saw her, and she got away somehow. There was a tent in the real tomb with personal effects, so Amber may well have really been there.

The original necromancer's body was still there, so we did a funeral service for him (you have to know the deceased's name, and we did). A large and evil spirit emerged from the corpse, and promptly died of paladin and magic missiles.

aramis erak

My sunday T2K 4e group had 3½ non-combat encounters in a row...
A funeral.
Neonazi stooges - disposed of by social conflict rules.
US remnants of the 1/501 Inf (Airborn). Adopted in.
Refugee families. Taken in, provisionally.

They've decided it may be time to settle down and farm...
But they've 20 bodies to feed while the crops grow.... soon likely to be more.

Level Up: Advanced 5th Edition Starter Box

An Advertisement