Describe your most humiliating defeat

Not a defeat of mine, but one of my players.
The PCs are around 9th level. The Halfling Paladin is leading the group through a evil mansion filled with all sorts of monstrosities (fiendish children, mimic bathtubs, ghouls in the atic) and the children's playroom has about 8 animated childrens toys with some special abilities. One of the toys was a baby doll that had one dose of a sleeping dust. The paladin promptly rolled a 1 on his save and fell asleep in the midst of the hell toys. The next thing he knows is a plush small octopuss is performing a coup de gace on his head, for 6 damage. The paladin fails his save and dies to a plush toy octopuss sqeezing his head.

The party raised him and bought him a plush octopuss helmet decoration. :D
 

log in or register to remove this ad

I have the bad habit of rolling two natural ones in a row. And not when I'm doing trivial stuff like the attack roll to kill the shopkeep I'm robbing or something like that.

Scenario 1: My Elven Bladesinger and Champion of Corellon. We were facing an "Anti-Party", so every party member had an enemy tailor-made for him: The halflling-hating druid got a halfling blighter, the wizard got a sorcerer, I got a priestress of Lolth. So The enemy spellcaster opened with horrid wilding. I roll a one for the save, take full damage. It's more than 50 points, so I roll for massive damage. I roll another natural one. Dead in the first round. Sure, the character got resurrected later, but I didn't even land a hit against my very personal nemesis.

Scenario 2: My Drow Favoured Soul of Vhaeraun and the rest of the party face off a Red Mage including golem bodyguard and lesser thayan mages. The bastard whips out an empowered fireball. Makes the spell penetration roll, rolls 60 damage, so again, I'll have to roll for massive damage despite my fire res. Another natural one. Note that this was the same gaming group as above. At a loss for words, I roll again, just for the heck of it. Another one..... I "retired" the character then and there (had rolled less-than-stellar with that character before, figured he was jinxed)
 

Two related stories, though they aren't exactly gaming stories. They took place at the National Training Center at Fort Irwin, where armored formations go for weeks of force-on-force training, kind lof like laser tag with 5,000 guys on a team, plus tanks, aircraft, and heavy artillery. The world's largest and most realistic wargame. The resident opposing force there is tough to beat -- they're well trained, and know the terrain like the back of their hand. They have a special mission unit called Task Force Angel, which is a company of dismounted infantry about 80-strong that lands in the night by helicopter assault and goes in to screw up the Blue Forces' rear area or seize some dominant piece of terrain.

----

So my tank platoon is set in a defensive battle position on the north slope of Hill 781, serving as a backstop to the brigade's defense. The sun is beginning to come up, and we've gotten a report the KRasnovian force is on the march, and they're headed right for my little kill sack -- it's going to be a good day. Just after daybreak, I look up at the hill to my left, and see a column of purple smoke rising from the crest. I just have time to ket my radio and ask "what's purple smoke mean?" when my "whoopee" light goes off - -indicating my tank has been killed. "It means you're dead!" comes the response, as my wingman dies. The platoon dady's wingman was maintenance down, so the platoon sergeant just gets to trade a little Ma-Deuce fire with the hilltop before an ATGM takes him out. A swarming horde of sandpeople -- the infantrymen of Task Force Angel -- comes down the hill, through my battle position, and goes on to destroy my task force headquarters. Turns out they'd landed on the south side of teh hill during the night. Moral: make sure you secure the high ground.

----

Far forward a year, and now I'm in a Bradley-equipped scout platoon. My wingman and I are doing a counter-recon sweep south of Hill 781, bounding from wadi to wadi looking for enemy scouts. A BRDM -- a wheeled recond vehicle (actually a visually modified HMMWV) -- squirts out of a wadi and tries to run an high speed, only to get pincered between us and get zapped by my wingman's 25mm cannon fire. We continue our sweep, and I stop to check in where my commander and part of the maintenance platoon are putting in an obstacle, before turning back to our assembly area. We're just getting moving when a Hind-D pops up from behind a hill, cannon blazing -- but there are two of us, and we quickly chase him off. We wonder where he came from, and then we see what looks like a bunch of ants on the ridgeline to the north -- a bunch of OPFOR infantry that has appeared out of nowhere! Call brigade -- no infantry able to respond, and the bad guys are in our rear area, so we can't get clearance for artillery fire. We're ordered to take them out, two Bradleys against about 40 infantry with ATGMs. We figure we're toast, but bound up to about a click away and open up with 25mm HE. The two ATGM teams go down in the first burst, and after a few Z-patterns we're pciking out the few survivors and sending them on their way with individual bursts. As we're done clearing the area, we hear the sound of rotors -- two Hind-Ds are escorting in 7 HIP helos, on the *second* lift of the air assault. I call my wingman: "Switch to TOW, I've got the lead, you get the trail." Two missiles later the Hinds are out of action, and we upen up with 25mm on the unarmed slicks. Pretty soon, thery're out of the fight -- they have to land to pick up the "dead" infantrymen and return to base.

Turns out the BRDM we zapped had been securing the LZ for Task Force Angel, and he got killed before being able to get off a message that the LZ wasn't secure. The first lift got in OK, but we killed them on the ground before they got the word to the second lift, and we killed the second lift in the air. Final score: Scouts 9 helos & 80 dismounts, TF Angel 0. I finally got my revenge on Task Force Angel.

Moral: Make sure you secure the high ground.
 


An NPC had a pretty humiliating defeat once. She baleful polymorphed the Half-Orc Monk into a tiny viper. He bit her and she failed her fort save. The CON drain from the bite took away enough of her HP to kill her.
 

Just this past weekend:

A powerful wizard and his ninja-assassin minions crash a party being thrown for the city's nobles. He mind-controls the whole crowd to go berserk, uses illusions to make them think they're fighting demons, and then vanishes. He's teleported before, so the PC's think he's gone for the battle; they focus on his minions.

At some point, one of the local guards runs up to attack said minions. He rolls a 1 on his jump check to reach them. A PC uses an action die (when NPC's roll a 1, I let PC's use an action die to critical it in favor of the party). So the guard slips, and throws his sword. He rolls a 1 on the attack roll. Another action die. His sword flies through the air, misses its target, and *SPLURT*! -- it sticks into the invisible wizard who was getting ready to start flying around and lobbing fireballs. Needless to say, he died pretty quick after being found.

Spider
 

We've had a couple: In Return to the Tomb of Horrors you fight a nest of giants in a cavern side cliff (coming in through the back entrance). Instead of waiting, we charge right in, led by the party fighter. He charged and hit the biggest giant he saw, opening a large gash in the leg. The DM smiled evilly and said "Ok now it's my turn." rolls a bit "the giant picks you up and throws you out of the cavern. You begin falling and right before you hit the ground you realize how amazingly stupid you are." We promptly retreated, gathering up our fighter that was now a large bloodstain on the ground.

Another fairly high level game, we were delving through a dungeon and found ourselves confronted by a kobold wielding a longsword. We did what any adventurer in their right mind does when confronted by a sword wielding kobold, we laughed and taunted him. Finally the paladin moves in to attack, the kobold wins initiative, and charges the paladin. The DM rolls, crit, rolls plenty of damage dice. "The kobold charges you catching you off guard, lunges, and impales you through the side on his sword. Take 53 damage and save vs massive damage." The paladin with his +20 Fort save rolls a 1... Then the dice continue to kick our collective behind, and five 15th level characters get their butts handed to them by one kobold with his little sword.
 

Our party was in a dwarven hold overrun with monsters. In the course of our exploration and reaving, we came across a door made of a metal impervious to spells and warded with multiple traps. Carefully, the thief (it was a 2E game) managed to open the door by disarming the traps and unlocking the three locks securing the door.

Inside, the room was 10 x 10 with a large lever in the centre of the floor, surrounded by a impressively built metal cage made of the same impervious to spells metal.

Not wanting to mess with it at that moment, we decided to return for a follow up investigation if time allowed. We continued clearing the dwarven hold, an adventure that took a number of sessions. We finally secured the dwarven hold and had actually left it when our wizard reminded us of the lever room. Some of us wanted to leave it alone but the majority of the party was curious of what we hadn't uncovered. So we troop back into the dungeon and to the room in question.

The cage protecting the lever was trapped and the thief disarmed the traps and we tipped over the cage so we can access the lever. A lively debate about what the lever was and whether we should throw it ensued for about 20 minutes. Finally, it was decided to throw the lever. After all, the dwarves went to particular pains to protect the room and lever so it had to be important..... Right?

Damn dwarves. They are the only race who would consider having the whole dwarven hold on a "self destruct" mechanism. Yep....we triggered the "final option" self destruct mechanism which destroyed all the load bearing supports and the dwarven hold collapsed in on us. It was ugly. We all died, crushed under thousands and thousands of pounds of rubble.

What is the saying about curiousity killing the cat....

We had cleared the hold of monsters and only needed to go back and collect on the reward promised by the dwarves who had fled from the hold when it fell years ago. Of course, they made no mention of a 'self destruct' mechanism....

I can still hear in my head the DM cackling wildly and can still see the look on the faces of my fellow players as we realized we bought our doom down upon our heads.

It was the "damn, are we so freaking stupid and gullible" look.... :confused:
 

My first foray into "Forge of Fury", my sorcerer along with the cleric and monk got grappled by the animated rug. None of us could roll high enough to escape and it ended up killing us. We got killed by a carpet...I was so embarrased. :heh:
 

Sadly it has become tradition that my BBEG prepare for battle by buttering his sword, and standing on a banana peel.

Except for one who was stabbed in the back while trying to save a player character's life.

I have had them fall off roofs.

I have had them drop their swords.

I have had them fail their Ride rolls while trying to cast a spell from horseback, being hauled back through the gate by his horse, while being dragged from his stirrup.

They have all been inglorious defeats. Epic battles do not happen with my arch villains in any game, the closest was the aforementioned backstabbing, which might have ended the scenario on a positive note if the bad guy hadn't been stabbed. (Redeemable villain.)

The Auld Grump
 

Pets & Sidekicks

Remove ads

Top