D&D 5E DM Quits The Game

[Charles Rampant]

I think that, as others have identified, there is actually two problems here:

1) Your plans as the DM seemed oddly restrictive. I've only ever heard of out-of-game time limits/expectations being used in very special circumstances (the end of a campaign, convention megagames, etc). Whenever you wrote that the party was '3 hours behind schedule' I got a little weirded out. I would not normally stress it to that degree. Especially since I am lazy, and regard players going slow as an excuse to do less work for the next session

2) The group seems to want different things from you. I've said that quite baldly, to give it more emphasis. Now, obviously your post won't include everything that happened in the game; I imagine that you had to leave some stuff out for space, and your players might disagree with your interpretation. Regardless, it seems from the text of your post that the kind of game you were running for this session was not the same as the kind of game that your players were wanting to play. Perhaps it is even just that they like to dilly-dally - pause to chat to minor NPCs and the like - where you want to move on with the BIG IMPORTANT EVENTS. You are not wrong for wanting to run your plot and have your fun; but it may be that you were not on the same page as your players.

I don't know if you've got the option open to you of going back to the group and discussing with them, or whether you burned bridges and ended the game. Either way, I would suggest to you - respectfully, not trying to be rude or anything - that you think about the above points. If you can, see whether you could loosen up your planning, hopefully leading to less stress about slipped schedules and the like. And, whether with this group or another one, make sure that you and the players form an accord with how the game runs. This doesn't need to be some grand social contract stuff. All that I do is explain to the players - clearly and hopefully swiftly - during character generation what kind of game I am going to run. (For example, 'no rape and no torture; no characters rolling dice against each other; some humour but not full comedy'). Then the rest should come with time. Just observe what makes your players have fun, and try to focus on that.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that your game collapsed, and I hope that you manage to get a game going soon that fits with your desires!

 

[iserith]

On the subject of player tardiness or absenteeism, I noticed this is more prevalent with in-person groups than online ones. I started running mostly online in 2011 and only very rarely do players turn up late. They also tend to give plenty of notice if they can't make it. I'm not entirely sure why this is, but it's been my experience. My guess is that there are simply less obstacles to being present and on-time in an online game than an in-person one. Perhaps giving online play a try is worth some of your time, maybe even with a pickup group on Roll20. I found running lots of pickup groups (hundreds of players now) in addition to my regular group gave me a lot of great perspective when it comes to DMing.

With regard to the pacing, it sounds like the party could have used some time on the front end to create cohesion between the characters and their goals. I have found that when the players are all on the same page from the beginning, future decisions comes faster and easier with little to no conflict. Encouraging players to accept and add onto the suggestions of other players - rather than contradict and debate them - speeds things up, too. I also encourage players to make decisions based on what they know and limit discussion on contingencies based on things they don't know, suggesting that they seek out information they need rather than speculate on and debate unknowns.

Player indecision when it comes to combat is never an issue at my tables. When a player joins a game, I tell him or her the following: "When it's your turn in the spotlight, act immediately or ask for advice the first offer of which you must take (as long as it's reasonable even if not perfect). When it's not your turn, think of a Plan A and a Plan B, the latter of which is in case something change before your turn that affects Plan A. Your turn is for acting, not for thinking about what to do or asking questions. If everyone adheres to this, the game is more fast-paced, more engaging, and your turn will come around quicker." Once they see this in practice and how much faster and more exciting it makes the game, indecision goes away in favor of action.

Finally, in terms of driving things forward, I recommend regular restatement of the stakes and any limitations on time the characters have, then making sure those things are hard-coded into the adventure scenario. Dick around and you will fail - no leeway whatsoever (unless you do something to alter the time limit in your favor). I have no problem with failure because it will always be interesting even if it's not the players' first choice of outcome. As well, I seek out the players' permission at the beginning of the campaign to engage in hard scene-framing from time to time to skip over givens and get to the interesting stuff, provided those things are based on choices the players have already made during play. The most frequently asked question at my table is "What do you do?" because there is almost never a time when there's not something in your grill causing you to make decisions.

Sorry to hear things didn't work out for you and I hope my advice above can give you some things to address with the group and try out in future campaigns.

 

[Warbringer]

Breaking into two pieces

1. Don't over prep, seriously 15-30 minutes is all you need and assume that whatever you planned won't happen. This is about control, let it go.
2. Players upto 2 hrs late: NFW - the thing you just walked through is also an exit; have fun in your next game.This is about respect, never let it go.

Long and short. Make it clear if a player is habitually 30 minutes late, find another game. In game, don't sweat what the PCs do and enjoy the fallout, and always use their suggestions against them

 

[Zardnaar]

Breaking into two pieces

1. Don't over prep, seriously 15-30 minutes is all you need and assume that whatever you planned won't happen. This is about control, let it go.
2. Players upto 2 hrs late: NFW - the thing you just walked through is also an exit; have fun in your next game.This is about respect, never let it go.

Long and short. Make it clear if a player is habitually 30 minutes late, find another game. In game, don't sweat what the PCs do and enjoy the fallout, and always use their suggestions against them

I normally do not spend a lot of time prepping I just wanted to have an epic fight as a special event.

 

[ccs]

In our games we have:
A) A start time.
B) An end time.

There's zero expectation that the party should be doing xyz in accordance to the clock on the wall.
Yes, I have a rough idea of how much content well likely get through in an evening. And I know how much time we waste BSing etc.
So I usually have 4 hrs worth of stuff prepped & only use 3 hrs of it.
After that? Same time, same place next week....

 

[Jester David]

My players can sometimes be a little late, but I like to push for <30 minutes. More than that is unfair on everyone who showed up on time. If necessary, we start without that person. The start time was posted, it's their own darn fault that their voice didn't count and they missed out on the decision making.
At that point it's time for a talk with the player who's always late that they've shifted from "slightly behind schedule" to ridiculously late". That they've started crossing the line.

 

[Sunseeker]

As someone said earlier, sometimes you gotta kick your feet up and enjoy the show. Also its a good idea to separate "arrival time" from "start time". IMO, "start time" is always when 4/5 players are here. If that's at 3pm on the button, great! If it's not, oh well, that's when we have enough players to carry the show on.

 

[Shasarak]

Man, 12 minutes for a players turn is too long, like 10 minutes too long - that would make me want to quit the game as well.

 

[psychophipps]

Bummer about your game! I tend to slap down lollygagging players as well, to be honest. If you're switched on, it's not hard to decide on an action even if it ends up being the wrong one.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*