D&D 5E DM Quits The Game

[Warbringer]

[MENTION=6799753]lowkey13[/MENTION] I appreciate your opinion but I've run plenty of games over the last 30 years with 15-30 minute game prep. The secret is knowing what to prep for and avoiding the issue if "the players did do what all my prep work was for"

Non game prep is often more - world building, NPC ideas, over arching stories that have there own pace, and stuff that is generally for my fun and staging.

I guess for my style I want the players to do their own thing and me not resent not using prep (though it usually got used somewhere down the line or with another group)

 

[Cody C. Lewis]

I have said this before as advice to another GM:

Great friends don't always make great players.

I value my time. My time gaming is very valuable to me and if I have chosen to spend this time sharing it with others/prepping for a session, I simply ask that they respect my time as well; a request I certainly feel is reasonable. If people, even friends, do not show up at the agreed upon time, it becomes disrespectful if it becomes a regular occurrence.

I always suggest first and foremost, bringing it up with your players. If you address any problems with them, and they do not make an effort in correcting the problem, move on. With VTTs becoming more popular, and evolving everyday to become closer and closer to an actual tabletop experience, it is not difficult to expand your horizons and find a different gaming group.

Additionally, you perhaps should evaluate your expectations of the group in-game as well. I suggest reading through The Lazy DM by Sly Flourish. It is not a long read, and has been helpful to myself.

So...
1.) Address concerns with your group, and let their future actions dictate if you will continue with them
2.) Self evaluate your DMing style and how it fits with your current group

Also:
Roll20.net
http://slyflourish.com/lazydm/

 

[Remathilis]

I burned out a while back due to prep work. Let me give you my suggestion.

Beer and Pretzels. Seriously, your campaign sounds very detail rich, expansive, full of intrigue and politics, and all manner of world-building details. Your players sound like they want to fireball orcs and get treasure. They are probably looking for a more casual, loose, and slow-paced game.

You have two options: give it to them or quit. There is nothing wrong with either. Perhaps running something more laid back (such as a good module or AP) where it doesn't matter as much when then don't show, show late, or don't accomplish everything you schedule. Relax, have fun, don't try to write the next Tolkien-epic. Or don't and find new players more adapted to the game you want to run. (In my experience, such players are rare and might even be mythical, but good luck).

As for me, I opted to adapt some AD&D/Pathfinder modules for now, and next game will probably be the next WotC AP set in the Realms. Casual, loose, and slow-paced.

 

[Malovaan]

On the "players behind schedule" part. Is there any particular reason that the PCs need to get to a particular event in that session?

If they're slower than you anticipated, maybe they get up to where you have that epic fight planned, you describe the scene and end the session there, leaving an awesome cliff-hanger that they'll be really anticipating getting in to next time - maybe they'll be on time for this one.

I just think that you shouldn't have a schedule of what you want the PCs to accomplish in a particular session, and leave it up to the players what actually ends up happening. Of course, you sew the seeds and have an idea of what you expect to happen, but sometimes you have to just let the players play it and see what happens. If your plan for the session takes three sessions in the end, is that a problem?

 

[The Fighter-Cricket]

First of all: Thanks for sharing. An important thing for DMs is to acknowledge that you should also have a good time at the table, not to cater only to the other's needs. If you are stressed out and don't enjoy the game then of course take a break.

The others had some really good points here, let me just give some short input.

Communication is king: Talk about the game you want to play. If you are preparing several hours for a session etc. then tell the players. In most cases they will understand that your task is not an easy one and respect your effort and your devotion to the game. If you want to play for example a game of intrigue or (more or less) complex plot then tell the players. Share your thoughts about the kind of game you want to play. Nobody can read minds. Make stuff clear at the beginning of a campaign or adventure. If your players dig your approach and want to get on the adventure-train then that's great. But you have to tell your players what you expect from them. And maybe they will like your approach or they will tell you that they really just want to "loot donjons and smash teh orcs" (which can be also enormous fun for the DM too!)

Too high expectations can be a burden for you and the players: Telling grand stories is great and creating complex settings and stories is so much fun when you are sitting in front of your pc typing cool scenarios, NPCs and whatnot. And hopefully you can bring your ideas to the table and share them in the gaming experience. But... in a free-form game like D&D everything can go wrong. In my first 8 years of DMing I wanted to tell intricate stories and let the players play those stories... It turns out that the more complex something was the least likely it was that the players interacted with it "in the right way". They took sideroads, concentrated on the marginal stuff and so on. I expected them to play along but didn't communicate it to my players. Only when I started being a player myself in another DM's campaign I realized how complicated it could be to guess what a DM expects. I was totally lost and did all the things that I hated from players in my campaign.
So over the years I told myself that I could have more fun if I just let loose and content with small-scale adventures, with a handfull of NPCs and have a more satisfying time.
Short: Don't expect too much from you and from the players. You can have fun with some, as others said it, Beer and Pretzels gaming and relax.
(btw "The lazy DM's guide" by Sly Flourish is a great ressource that gives the DM useful tips for this kind of DMing.)

There are some other points but I think the other user's input sums it up quite good already.

Have fun, enjoy the game and off to a new start in the future!

 

[Hussar]

Yeah, players that are consistently late need to be booted from the group. Wasting everyone's time because you can stick to a commitment is just inexcusable. Hey, everyone is late sometimes. But if you're that guy that shows up last every single session then, well, the squeaky wheel gets the kick.

Players deliberating endlessly is another player behaviour that needs to die. Think about it. If I took 12 minutes at a poker table I'd get beaten with a stick. I've seen players like this and you have to put a foot down. They just suck all the air out of the room.

RTFM. Learn what your character can do. Take the five minutes to write notes detailing your spells. You only get two per level. There's no excuse for not knowing what your character can do.

Yeah. I'm totally with the DM here. Walk. There are better players out there who actually have learned a smidgeon of respect for the effort you make.

 

[The Human Target]

There are a lot of issues going on in your group.

But rage quitting is never a good answer.

I've done it before, and the end result is always negative.

 

[S'mon]

As someone said earlier, sometimes you gotta kick your feet up and enjoy the show. Also its a good idea to separate "arrival time" from "start time". IMO, "start time" is always when 4/5 players are here. If that's at 3pm on the button, great! If it's not, oh well, that's when we have enough players to carry the show on.

I generally treat 3/5 as quorate, unless some Epic Final Battle is about to start. Then 4/5.

 

[dd.stevenson]

It sounds like you're trying to force a square peg into a round hole, by prepping an adventure arc for a beer n pretzels group.

Recruit different players, leave off DMing, or explore a different game style. Them's really your only options.

 

[Demonspell]

"After 2 minutes of the same player trying to make up her mind I rule she skips here turn after she claimed she can take as long as she likes"

Big mistake that she thinks like that, GM is god and make rules on the fly if needed, players only say "sir yes sir" and game on.

Be more dominant

I have a newbie that frequently experiences this problem. I take matters into my own hands and help her make a decision.

I have a copy of every one of my player's character sheets so I know what they have. I make sure that my casters tell me what spells they have and I mark them off on my notes when they use them. It keeps my players honest, though, truth be told, I seldom need it for that purpose. I usually use it for check the players don't know, or don't need to know about. Passive checks or spell effects that they will only learn about if they are affected by them.

But this also comes in handy in situations where my new players are struggling to make decisions. I look at their sheet and start asking questions.

What are you struggling with is my usually lead question? How do you think that will help? Are there any consequences for that decision?

I may even involve the rest of the group. What would help the party out most? This helps get the player focused, and aids them it learning how to work better with the other players. Overtime, their confidence grows and they start making decisions on their own, but it takes time and encouragement.