DM Schticks That Grind Your Gears

[merelycompetent]

The Literal DM

Thief (1st Ed days): Okay, I throw my grappling hook up to the balcony, test the rope and make sure it sticks.

DM: Okay the grappling hook lands on top of the balcony. I didn't hear you say you tied the rope to it.

That was a long time ago but it still makes me laugh to think about it.

Sorry for the side-track. I was witness to this one:

Similar to above, but the DM told the thief, "I didn't hear you say you were using the rope to climb the wall."

One round later, the guards arrive and attack the thief after he fell off the wall.

DM: "The three guards hit you for 21 hp total."
Thief: "Uh, check again. Fists only do 1d3, subdual."
DM: "No, they're using swords."
Thief: "I didn't hear you say they were attacking me with swords."

 

[Hammerhead]

I like that Thief player.

 

[Chimera]

Thief: "I didn't hear you say they were attacking me with swords."

And that, Sir, is a thing of beauty.

 

[William Ronald]

My pet peeve: Super NPC.

No matter how hard your character has worked to achieve his or her goals, the DM will have the campaign seem to be a showpiece for a favored NPC. It becomes particularly annoying if you have a character who is supposed to be at the top of his or her profession, and the Super NPC is also The Man from Nowhere or the Minor NPC who is now superior to the rest of the party. (My rule on powerful NPCs, make sure that the NPC has an interesting story as to how he or she has become powerful. Also, I think the PCs should have a chance to matter in a campaign, and not play second or third fiddle to a favored NPC.)

 

[reanjr]

DMPCs. If the party needs a short-duration NPC to assist the party, or as a story hook, fine -- but not a permanent NPC who gains experience alongside the party and is run by the DM as a PC (especially when said PC becomes omniscient and more capable than the party). Either play or DM, but don't try to do both at the same time.

Nah, this works with a decent DM. Especially rogue types that can sneak off every once in a while to get themselves out of the main story and to add story hooks ("Roland comes running out of one of the doors hurriedly saying something about 'being sorry,' and 'you may want to follow'"). They can also be useful in pushing things forward when the players managed to mess things up or forget something. Like if the party failed to pick up the super +7 bauble of arch-villain destruction, the NPC can retroactively have picked it up.

On the other hand, when it used to stroke one's ego, it does not work out.

 

[reanjr]

Here, have a Holy Avenger

Despite the fact that there is perfectly good chart for rolling up treasure in the DMG, this GM will randomly ascribe treasure and gold based on his whims. While this is fun initially, a gross imbalance in the party will ensue, resulting in Hero McUltraequipped and his possee of slightly less-well equipped followers. The DM will gawk in wonder as the party shreds through his BBEGs like they were made of tissue, then will begin throwing higher and higher difficulty enemies against the party, which will ultimately result in a level 10 party dying at the hands of a CR 17 encounter.

I can't see how randomly generated treasure can be better than story-focused decisions based on the campaign at hand. Sounds more like you have a problem with the D&D magic item system than anything else.

 

[reanjr]

The Ol' Bait-and-Switch.

It can be effective to use bait and switch to get the proper type of character backgrounds, though. What if the DM wants to run a campaign revolving around the difficulty of disaffected nobles now penniless and ruined and having to eke out a living as mercenaries using their meager "courtly" sword training.

So you tell them that the campaign is going to be based around nobles and political intrigue. They generate appropriate characters complete with all sorts of associated NPCs and organizations that can come into play later as enemies or allies that have been likewise affected. That sounds like alot of fun to me.

 

[reanjr]

His name? Uhm... Bob: The DM never comes up with names for anyone. Random NPCs is one thing, but when the PCs interact with major NPCs they find that they never have names. The town mayor, the wizard who hires them, the boy they're sent looking for, etc. None of them ever have a name! Towns can fall into this category as well.

I have a similar problem occasionally when I DM. I name someone. Then they come up later and I can't remember the name. I can't seem to locate my notes, but I know it's somewhere, so I refuse to rename them for consistency's sake. That NPC usually gets a *mumble, mumble* as their name that encounter.

 

[reanjr]

Question: Do you inform your DM about the things you do not like to see them doing between/after the sessions? That's always good to have feedback. Helps the DM to improve.

That would be far too constructive. It's much more fun and challenging for the DM to figure these things out on their own. Of course, I am being sarcastic - I DM and never hear a single complaint about my games even if someone just stops coming or switches to another campaign.

 

[CrimsonWineGlass]

Clash-with-the-characters

The DM who plans the game a couple sessions in advance based on what the party is doing but somehow manages to be surprised when the party of chaotic neutral PC's, one of which being a guild thief, turns down the mission to save the paladin from the clutches of the local thieves guild offered to them by the high priest from the Temple of Tyr.


You see another boss

This DM makes an indepth campaign where you end up wishing he would throw you up against 8 orcish barbarians. Every enemy is a custom tailored boss fight and you never seem to run into grunts. 1 powerful enemy vs. the party for 9/10 fights.