Do you ever successfully remain friends with ex's?

[Belen]

Never. If there was real feeling involved, then you never stay friend's afterward. IMO, those people who can stay in touch with an ex never had true feelings for them.

 

[Kanegrundar]

Never. If there was real feeling involved, then you never stay friend's afterward. IMO, those people who can stay in touch with an ex never had true feelings for them.

In my case, I was friends with my ex first. We tried and tried to make a romantic thing work. It messed us both up, but in the end we realize that we were just oo good of friends to not be just because we sucked in a relationship. Granted, we don't see each other all that much anymore, but we still do upon occasion. I still love her, but in more of a sisterly way. True, romantic feelings may not have come about like we both would have liked, but there are true feelings there.

Kane

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Most of the time for me, at least for a while, and then life moves onwards and you drift out of each others lives completely.

Exactly the same here. Sometimes I run into an ex or hear through a third party as to the whereabouts and how one is doing. They usually ask the third party "How's Cal, have you seen him, etc', and 'Tell him I said hello'".

A weird thing happened a year ago when an ex g/f with whom I did NOT part amicably tracked me down on Classmates.com. We'd not spoken a word to each other in 17 years. We emailed back and forth a bit, had a few phone calls just to catch up and so forth. She'd heard I was separated and was angling for us to get back together, but it just wouldn't have been a good idea, had I even been in a position where I thought I could. Our old relationship could at best be described as "tempestous" (which means I ducked a lot of books, glasses, and electronics she hurled at my head and the intimate side of the relationship was.... frighteningly intense).

We ended up forgiving each other for all the pain we'd both been carrying around for so long, and still email each other once in awhile. We're not friends again, but we're no longer enemies, either.

Sorry....I rambled.

 

[MonsterMash]

Sometimes I do, but usually even if its an amicable split we tend to drift apart as its not the same.

 

[Lady_Acoma]

Never. If there was real feeling involved, then you never stay friend's afterward. IMO, those people who can stay in touch with an ex never had true feelings for them.

This is probably true with me, you have to realize that all of these ex's that I am talking about were men, and being that I now realize I am a lesbian it is not surprising that I saw them only as friends with some attachment benefits along. Things may change for me now.

 

[LightPhoenix]

I'd went with Sometimes, or 50%. Two I'm friends with, but they weren't that serious, so it wasn't a big deal. One (my current) was a downgrade to simply seeing each other, since we're about four hours apart, both with jobs and such. Technically she's an ex though, since we broke up. My most serious one I don't talk to any more. I don't really hate her, and she doesn't really hate me, I don't think. I'd probably be polite and smile and all that if I saw her, and might stop to say a word, but we both changed too much, and found out we're just not friends any more, let alone a couple.

 

[Nifft]

I have two exen who remain friends, and one who was a friend but just kinda lost touch with (lives very far away).

The secret seems to be: don't try to be friends immediately after. Go sleep with someone new, work out whatever anger you had, move on with your life. Then, a year or two later, hang out again.

-- N

 

[Henry]

For both of my high-school girlfriends, I remained friendly, but am no longer active friends with them because both moved away after graduating. My first serious girlfriend got married to a good friend of mine from college (they met through both knowing me), and has two children, and I wish the best for them both. Sadly, I never see them anymore, but through losing touch more than anything else.

The second person was... a little eccentric for me to continue a serious relationship with, plus we had little physical or emotional chemistry, so it just kinda ended. Don't know where she is now, but I hope she's well.

The third one, I married 11 years ago, so I'll let you know how that one's going in 40 years or so.

For a guy, it's VERY hard to remain friends with someone they were serious with; only if there was no chemistry to begin with is it any easier.

 

[ForceUser]

For a guy, it's VERY hard to remain friends with someone they were serious with; only if there was no chemistry to begin with is it any easier.

Yeah.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Never. If there was real feeling involved, then you never stay friend's afterward. IMO, those people who can stay in touch with an ex never had true feelings for them.

Hmmm, so what is your definition of "true feelings?" It must be different from mine if you think it is not possible to stay friends with them.

Or maybe it is the definition of "remaining friends." I dated one girl for many years. We talked about marriage, but both felt we were a little too young to push it at that time. When we finally broke up, it was not a nice break-up. I spent a while nursing some pretty nasty feelings towards her, it felt better to be angry than hurt. About a year later, all the hurt had eased and I realized the anger wasn't needed. I met her again and her fiance through a mutual friend. I saw how good this guy was for her and how happy she was. I used those "true feelings" I had for her for so many years to be happy for her and put aside any remaining selfish hurt I had.

Of course she may have regretted the resumption of our friendship the night we all drank a little too much and her fiance heard a few stories that she had never told him. I still was invited to the wedding even after that.