Dumbest thing in th BoVD: The Tarrasque-touched Template

[Zappo]

Boys, it's been ages since the last thread that made me laugh so hard. Thank you.

 

[Triumph]

I can see it now...

FIGHTER and ROGUE: "OH MY GOD, THE TARRASQUE IS COMING! IT WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING!!! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"

VILE WIZARD: "You two go ahead, I'll catch up in a few minutes..."

 

[Xarlen]

"So, what's a beautiful thing of raw destruction doing in a place like this?"

"If I told you you had a body that killed, would you hold it against me?"

 

[LGodamus]

Triumph ...good one

 

[Carnifex]

This thread is so, so... wrong!

(You've traumatised my girlfriend now )

 

[Simplicity]

I can see it now...

FIGHTER and ROGUE: "OH MY GOD, THE TARRASQUE IS COMING! IT WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING!!! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!"

VILE WIZARD: "You two go ahead, I'll catch up in a few minutes..."

Cue the Marvin Gaye soundtrack...

VILE WIZARD: "Hey baby... What's your name?"

TARRASQUE: "RRrrrrr--"

VILE WIZARD: "Yeah, yeah... I know you play tough on the outside, but on the inside, we're all looking for the same thing...
someone to love."

TARRASQUE: "raaaaargggghh?"

VILE WIZARD: "See, I've built a little fire here... Some wine... Come on... I won't bite."

(Krrrraaaa-krunch)

VILE WIZARD: "Ummmm... The campsite wasn't really for eating..."

TARRASQUE: "RRRRRAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!"

VILE WIZARD: "No, no! That's okay! That's fine! I'm glad you liked it! Look... Would you rather go somewhere else? My tower is right over... oh no..."

(Thump-thump-thump... Krrrrraaaaaack!!!!)

VILE WIZARD: "Oooookay... How about your place?"

 

[Tcheb]

"'Hired to defend a maiden's honor from a crazy wizard?' That's the last time we take a job from mysterious guys wearing cloaks at the inn."

This thread - that's what I call entertainment!

 

[Triumph]

TARRASQUE PIZZA BOY: "Your pizza's here, ma'am."

VILE SORCERESS: "Oh good. But I don't have any money."

TARRASQUE PIZZA BOY: "Oh I'm sure you can think of some way to pay me..."

Cue cheesy 70's music

 

[Simplicity]

TARRASQUE PIZZA BOY: "Your pizza's here, ma'am."

VILE SORCERESS: "Oh good. But I don't have any money."

TARRASQUE PIZZA BOY: "Oh I'm sure you can think of some way to pay me..."

Cue cheesy 70's music

"Debbie Eats Dallas."

 

[ladyofdragons]

This is the funniest freaking thread I've seen in a long while. nearly peed my pants.