Honestly; the only way to play it is to limit every PC
It’s only broken if someone breaks it. I solved that by yes, limiting players to using the 3.5 PHB as their only rule source - everything splat needs to be rule by rule approved by me (theDM) and listed on their character sheet in verbatim detail.
But more importantly, my players have been never interested in power gaming - nor have I or they been particularly interested in crunch.
For us, the rules are what they were in AD&D - a means to an end to telling a story together. The “goal” of having a better build than other players was never what any of wanted. I’ve specifically said to players - “I haven’t seen someone do this before” - as in, it’s suboptimal - and been told, that’s OK, that’s how I want my character to be.
Sounds like tge problem with 3.5e for you is you don’t like power gaming either, but felt forced to do it?