Enworlds Funniest Critical Hits and Fumbles!

[BrooklynKnight]

Post your funniest Critical Hit and Fumble Stories. Yes, i know there is no official rule for Critical Fumbles but many of us use house rules.

This applies to spells, skill checks, attacks, reflex saves!

I'll start.

I was dming a modern game where a PC was using two improvised staple guns as a semi ranged weapon. He had 2 attacks.

Me: Ok, your go, watcha do?
PC: I try to staple him.
Me: Heh, alright roll
PC rolls two 1's
Me: Woah, ok, roll fumble.
Pc rolls ANOTHER two 1's.
Me: holy |expletive deleted| Roll reflex save!
PC rolls a FIFTH 1!

Me: Dude.......you've just stapled your thumb to your forehead. Congrats.

 

[Femerus the Gnecro]

This is from the very first session of the very first 3e game I ever played.

It was set in the DL setting, and I was playing a Kender. As per normal, I had wandered off to get myself into trouble, when I came across an acid spitting beetle under a bed.

I got on top of the bed and it scuttled out to spit at me some more... so I picked up the mattress and jumped on it.

20. 20. 20.

Critical mattress.

-F

 

[Dark Jezter]

The party, which was made up of level 5 PCs, encountered a Chain Devil at the end of a long tunnel connecting to the Underdark. I had designed this to be the "boss" encounter of the adventure.

In the first round of combat, the tiefling fighter in the group rolled especially good on his initiative check, then attacked the Chain Devil with his greataxe and scored a critical hit, dealing over 70 damage and reducing the chain devil to negative hit points. After that, the drow bard finished it off with a coup de grace from a silver crossbow bolt.

Greataxes might not crit often, but when they do, they hit hard!

 

[DarkSoldier]

Should I mention the time I had a frat house dropped on me?

It was Star Wars meets Animal House, literally. First off, Neidermeyer kicked my butt, then a Jedi hurled me into the basement of Delta House, a few rounds before it was set to blow (long story). I make the Climb check to get out, but I'm standing right next to the place when it explodes.

"Roll a Reflex save."

*shakeshake*roll*

1.

"Force point!" I declare, but it didn't matter; Delta House came crashing down on me, and I went to -12 wound points. Mike, being the generous GM he is, allowed me to burn that Force Point to not die.

They recovered only about 25-30% of my body, but it was neough to put into a bacta tank, where I'm slowly recovering. When I get out, I'll be the Darth Vader of engineers; until then, they get to play with Aboroth, Dark Side Marauder.

 

[Buttercup]

Well, there was the time the party's monk used his immovable rod like a trapeeze to swing his feet into the face of a dire bear, but rolled a 1 and ended up under the bear. Or the time this same monk used his immovable rod to help brace him in place above a doorway but then rolled a one when he wanted to leap down on the enemies and ended up falling on his head in the midst of them. A regular keystone cop, he is.

 

[KenM]

Running first session with a new group, the very first combat. The cleric of the god of battle rolls three natural 1's to hit the first three rounds of combat.

 

[hong]

Well, there was the time the party's monk used his immovable rod like a trapeeze to swing his feet into the face of a dire bear, but rolled a 1 and ended up under the bear. Or the time this same monk used his immovable rod to help brace him in place above a doorway but then rolled a one when he wanted to leap down on the enemies and ended up falling on his head in the midst of them. A regular keystone cop, he is.

You know, I've never heard it called an "immovable rod" before, but I guess there's a first time for everything.


Hong "the things you can do with a Tumble check" Ooi

 

[HellHound]

First ed... Level 14 game.

The duelist attacks with his vorpal sword, fumbles, and cuts the paladin's head off. He then fumbles with it AGAIN on his very next attack, hits another player (doesn't cut off his head luckily - by 1 point) and drops the weapon across the room. On his next action he draws a sword of sharpness.

The party turns away from the monsters, and started attacking the duelist.

 

[TiQuinn]

Our party was fighting a group of mercenaries hired to take us out. One of the mercs was reloading his crossbow after having just nailed our party's wizard with a critical hit. Next in initative is Tasmin, the party's resident thief.

Tasmin: How is the guy holding his crossbow?

DM: He's kneeling down, and bracing the butt of the crossbow against the floor while he pushes down the string and loads the quarrel.

Tasmin: I pull out my Chime of Opening, and use it to flip the catch on the crossbow.

DM: Huh? Can you even do that? Oh, what the hell....roll a d20.

:Tasmin rolls: 20! :rolls d%: 00!

DM: oh, sweet god, I can't believe this. You ring the chime, and the crossbow suddenly fires as the merc is loading it, firing the quarrel into his neck, killing him instantly!

A little bit of poetic license? Sure? Was it cool to see that little bit unfold? Hell, yeah, it was!!

 

[Moe Ronalds]

Three PCs fighting bogey man. Each hold thermetite grenades. (D20 Modern game)

PC 1: Rolls three ones in a row. Spends an action point to, you know, NOT DIE, as the grenade goes off beneath his feet.

PC2: Also a critical fumble, but not a critical critical fumble. Instead he just blows up the closet of some kid in mylasia (I should mention they were all standing around in a room with portal thingies on all sides).

PC3: Throws- crits- confirms! He then proceeds to roll all 6's and 5's. The boogeyman screams as his extremeties go flying every which way.