Epic Feats (humor--not from ELH playtest)

Epic Maximise Spell
Pre: maximise spell
Benefits: The spell will do 3000 points damage.


Epic Extend Spell
Pre: Extend spell, persistant spell
benefits: The spell lasts for ever.

Epic Widen Spell
Pre Widen spell
Benefits: the spell affects an entire continent

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EPIC MIND BLANK

Prerequisites: Character must be totally minmaxed.
Benefit: Other players won't notice your munchkinism.
Normal: You munchkin! Leave and don't bother coming back!
 

EPIC UNARMED STRIKE
Prereqs: improved unarmed strike, at least 20 monk levels, Epic Level
Benefit: the character's unarmed strikes can achieve epic damage, improving with the number of Epic Levels gained.

1-2 ELs: damage 2d12. Character can punch through a wooden door.
3-4 ELs: 2d20. Character can punch through a brick wall.
5-6 ELs: 4d12. Character can punch through a masonry wall, or an iron door.
7-8 ELs: 3d20. Character can punch through a steel shield, or a stone cavern wall.
9-10 ELs: 5d12. Character can punch through a shield and plate mail, or an iron golem.
11-12 ELs: 8d20. Character can punch through mithral.
13-14 ELs: 10d20. Character can punch through adamantine.
15-16 ELs: 2d12 times 2d20. Character can punch through magic adamantine, or a demigod.
17-18 ELs: d% times 2d20. Character can punch through any god in Dieties and Demigods.
19-20 ELs: maximum damage (kills anything struck). Character can punch through planes, destroying them.
21-22 ELs: Character can punch holes in the universe, opening gates to other universes and destroying them.
23+ EL: Character can punch through God. Alternately, a secular character can punch through the fabric of reality, destryoing all existence and starting a new "big bang."
 

Epic Improvised Weapon.
Prereqs: Combat Reflexes, Str 21+.
Benefit: Make a grapple check against an oponent. If you win, you can wield an oponent up to two size catagories above you as an improvised weapon, suffering a -4 to attack rolls. See table for damage results.

Size Damage
Fine 1d4
Tiny 1d6
Small 1d8
Medium 1d10
Large 1d12
Huge 2d6
 

EPIC UNCANNYER DODGE

Whenever you would nomrally suffer damage, on a successful reflex save you take no damage -- from anything.

g!
 

YO MAMA'S EPIC!

YO MAMA'S EPIC!!!!
Prerequisite: Epic Level 1+, You must not know who your mother is or have ever met her.
Benifit: Your mother secretly is a highlevel (mimimum level 20/10/10) Mother/Great/Grandmother/Faerie Godmother who is the head of MOM (Maternal Order of Mothers). You can now meet her. She will give you an allowance of 500.000 gp a month, provided you have done your chores (keeping your demi-plane clean, putting away all your artifacts after you have played with them, being sure to feed and clean the pet tarrasque's litter box, making sure your evil brother Cyric stays out of trouble ect.) Additionally, once per year (on your birthday) a gift of value: a Sword of Godslaying +9 , 1d4x5 major artifacts, a 25th level spell, or a suitable pawn to amuse yourself with (like Elminster).





Note: Information about the mother NPC class and MOM can be found in Dragon #238
 
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