Experience Point: One Hundred Thirty Two Pounds

One hundred and thirty-two pounds.

That’s the weight of my unwanted gaming books. I was just weighing myself (if you’re curious I weigh 187 at present and hope to drop about 10 pounds now that I’m back to running regularly). I saw those bins sitting there and I wondered how much they weighed. They were certainly taking up plenty of room in my basement. I also learned that it is very difficult to look down at a scale when you’re holding a seventy pound bin of books.

Nearly all of these books were accumulated during the 3e boom just after the turn of the millennium. And there is some good stuff in there. But I’m never going to use it again. Or perhaps it is more the fact it isn’t worth keeping around on the slim chance I’ll use it again.

How did this happen? Well I used to make more money and I used to be a lot more careless with it. I made the mistake of thinking $20 here and $30 there was no big deal to spend on a hobby I love so much. And $20 here and $30 there really isn’t too much to spend if you do so intentionally and rationally. But I was neither of those things at the time.

I’ve sorted through those bins of books and kept a couple decent shelves worth. Some I simply couldn’t part with for sentimental reasons and some had too much potential to be mined for ideas. Things are different for me now and have been for the last several years. When I say “different”, what I really mean is much, much better.

If somebody asked me, “What was the smartest thing you have done to improve your marriage?” I’d say, “Gaining an understanding of our respective Love Languages and putting them to good use.” But if somebody asked me, “What was the second smartest thing you have done to improve your marriage?” I’d say, “Create a written budget and stick to it.”

We started doing that a bit over two years ago and have since paid off well over thirty thousand dollars in debt. We’ve still got a ways to go but there looks to be some light at the end of this tunnel and our cash flow feels a lot better. If there is one constant refrain about our finances, it’s we wish we had started a lot sooner than we did. We try to think less about what the delay cost us and more about what delaying even longer would have cost us.

Why was it so hard to get started? Because “budget” is NOT a fun word to say. I think, deep down, we knew we’d have to make one sooner or later. But later meant we wouldn’t have to stop spending money on fun stuff like 3e books. And of course we were very wrong about all of that.

Our budget has line items for things like entertainment, eating out at restaurants, and buying clothes in addition to things like the mortgage, utilities, and debt payments. When we finally understood our budget is simply a plan for how to spend our money rather than a numeric assassin of joy (high five Babylon 5 peeps!), we started to enjoy the peace it brought us. It is not only a record of the fact we had to replace the tires on my wife’s car but also a reminder to go out and have fun too. And sometimes that means spending money on gaming books.

The big shift in mindset was a few years ago, before we even had a budget in place. It wasn’t even much of a financial consideration at that point. I just had too many bookshelves devoted to gaming stuff. I decided I needed some better criteria on which to base my purchasing decisions. So I came up with this rule:

Unless I know for certain that I will use a gaming product in the next six months, I don’t buy it.

It has proved remarkably effective at stopping my impulse purchasing. More than once I’ve held some book in my hand at the friendly local gaming store and said, “Will I definitely be using this in the next six months?...” Then I put it back on the shelf and walk away. The answer is usually “No.”

What’s beautiful about it is the answer is sometimes “Yes!” Then I slap it on the counter with a smile and my debit card and make my purchase absolutely free of guilt. It’s a very nice feeling to know I’m having fun AND sticking to the budget.

I discovered another ancillary benefit of this policy: Buying more discriminately leaves more money in the budget for the sorts of gaming experiences I truly value. Notably, I can afford to go to GenCon and other Game Day events and roll dice with people I see too seldom.

We just underwent the annual scramble for badges and hotel rooms. It seems to get crazier and more expensive every year. Did you plan to be at the Best Four Days In Gaming? Did you budget for it or spend money you don’t have? Could you make room in your budget in other ways?

Let me know if anybody wants to buy 132 pounds of books.
 

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Budgets are probably one of my strong points - I'd rather spend half an hour with my spreadsheets than sweeping the floors, for example.

I've found it very useful to have a "house" account that only pays out household or other joint bills (most by Direct Debit). My partner and I pay a set amount into it monthly from our individual accounts, and manage our individual accounts ourselves.

We also have a credit cards matching each of these accounts - a joint "house" card for paying for food shopping and other house items, which gets cleared monthly from the house account, and a personal credit card each that we pay from our personal accounts.

So, if I want to buy my partner an iToy, I buy it on my personal credit card, knowing that the mortgage will still get paid.

It does mean that we have to budget the house account, and also budget our own accounts, but I see it as breaking down one big budget into 3 smaller ones. As long as the house budget is being kept to, then our personal budgets aren't as critical.
 

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My wife an I are doing our yearly finances right now and I went through and categorized the last year of transactions from our bank account and credit cards. It is definitely interesting to look back and see where the money is going. (Esp since we moved last year and had a lot of one-time costs.)

My bank has an application that categorises transactions pretty well, but transactions on the credit card are a black hole right now. I need to go through a similar exercise with the last 12 months cc statements and see where that money is going. Thanks for reminding me :)
 

[MENTION=18507]kitsune9[/MENTION] This is pretty much how things went when we first got married, but we separated our finances and it has been the best thing in the world.

This was my plan when I got married, but my wife doesn't work and we need to pay off bills, etc. I'm an excellent financial analyst (my career), but I'm terrible with managing our own finances, so while I grumble that there's no money for gaming and no gaming in general, fiscally, it's the best thing for me. Under my wife's control, we were able to pay down some school debt, buy a house, and have a large baby budget when she got pregnant with The Boy.
 

My wife and I have always kept totally separate accounts. But we both have the same philosophy: don't spend money you don't have. We have no debt, credit cards get paid off every month, the house was paid off before we got married, and we don't have kids. Thus my gaming collection can continue to grow. I'm a bit of a collector, but I've decided that I don't need originals of old stuff and I can get by with PDFs of new stuff.
 

We have separate accounts, too. My wife pays the mortgage and utility bills, and I pay for food, entertainment, travel, the car, etc. Not too bad for debt -- I don't use credit cards often, though the house was remortgaged to pay for our wedding so we still have 20 years left on that. No kids, or any planned, which means that we're able to buy hobby stuff from time to time without overly worrying about it.
 

I gave away 80kgs+ of gaming books before leaving Oz for the last time last year. I also gave away at least triple that weight in other books.

Notwithstanding this purge, my RPG collection managed to weigh in at around 500 kgs when it got here. And it looks great on the purpose-built shelves! :)

As for managing cash, I handle all the money. That's not a sexist thing but it's definitely cultural: this is the Philippines and older relatives - especially older brothers - believe that they have been given a right by God Himself to take whatever they like from younger relatives, especially if that relative is female.

This way my wife never has to say "no": I do. ;)
 

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