I know that you said that you liked playing the fighter and also that the book of nine swords was already mentioned but.........
Perhaps a class from that would fit more into what you are wanting to do?
As an example, the Crusader gets abilities that allow him to block attacks going to allies, he has some pretty nice moves for being useful in combat, he can heal somewhat if you want to go for that, and there is a stance that you would not be too far away from that would grant you a massive bonus to resist things like being tripped, bull rushed, disarmed, and the like along with giving you damage reduction 2/- with the drawback that if you move more than 5' in a round the stance goes away.
That character build might get you most or all of what you are looking for, although it means not going into dwarven defender until after level 10 or so I think, or never if you want to keep going with more levels of crusader.
It might be something to think about if it is an option, even though it isnt actually a fighter. You could still take levels of fighter in that build as well, it would just delay your getting the stance I mentioned above until later or you could take those levels after you get that stance.