The_Gneech
Explorer
Ranger5 said:
TPS -- Total party seppuku!
-TG
-
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Game Bloopers and Quotes
- Thread starter BrooklynKnight
- Start date
TPS -- Total party seppuku!
-TG
TheAuldGrump
First Post
Quotes from my games...
From Vampire Me: 'You just ate the clue!' (I have run across this being quoted on another message board where someone was described as 'he really ate the clue on that one!' I felt so proud!)
From my D&D game Wizard: I buff him till he shines! (Casting all the buff spells he can.)
From Call of Cthulhu Martial Artist: I karate chop the Shuggoth!
D&D again Thief locked in treasure vault to a summoned Djinn: Make me a door!
And again: Wizard: After they hurl me out of the catapult I will use Feather Fall to land safely in the castle courtyad! *SPLAT!* as he hit the wall rather than going over...
And yet again... Player with unidentified ring that he believes is a ring of Water Breathing: I stick my head in the bucket and keep saying command words till one works! (He managed to drown himself...)
The Auld Grump
From Vampire Me: 'You just ate the clue!' (I have run across this being quoted on another message board where someone was described as 'he really ate the clue on that one!' I felt so proud!)
From my D&D game Wizard: I buff him till he shines! (Casting all the buff spells he can.)
From Call of Cthulhu Martial Artist: I karate chop the Shuggoth!
D&D again Thief locked in treasure vault to a summoned Djinn: Make me a door!
And again: Wizard: After they hurl me out of the catapult I will use Feather Fall to land safely in the castle courtyad! *SPLAT!* as he hit the wall rather than going over...
And yet again... Player with unidentified ring that he believes is a ring of Water Breathing: I stick my head in the bucket and keep saying command words till one works! (He managed to drown himself...)
The Auld Grump
Last edited:
BrooklynKnight said:Hows about sharing all those funny moments from recent, and old memorable games where the player said one thing, and ment another (or at least ment, to mean/say another).
How bout some really bad mistakes?
Anything to make me laugh.
WARNING - may possibly offend some readers!
Some sessions ago, an NPC thief wanted to get his hands on a player character who had humiliated him in a barfight. He had stolen and donned a ring, which happened to be our wizard's ring of three wishes (with one wish remaining) during the barroom brawl. In conversation with our rogue, who was attempting to steal the ring back, the thief declared that he "wished to get his hands on the $%!&^ who had beaten him up at the bar". Suddenly, a pair of hands - with one fairly useless ring, to boot - appeared around the neck of our wizard, who was "entertaining" a member of the opposite sex at the time.
Thereafter, the wizard earned the nickname of "Handjob"... hope this has not offended anyone!
The_Gneech
Explorer
KaeYoss said:
Goodness, I feel honored!
Thanks.-TG
Lady Mer
First Post
Quotes from our old Arcana Unearthed game. Most are OOC, but still funny.
The group consisted of a giant warmain, a human turned mojh akashic/magister, a spryte wind witch/hawk totem warrior, a human greenbond, and a litorian winter witch/unfettered.
******************
Giant: So we have crew of undead and a pirate ship- let's go raid some shipping!
Spryte: We are NOT becoming pirates.
Mojh: You know, with a undead crew, we wouldn't have to pay them anything.
Spryte: No pirates!
Spryte: Let's kill them all and take their ship.
Giant: I thought you didn't want to be a pirate.
Spryte: I don't. I just want to commit random acts of mayhem. Pirates do it for profit, I do it for fun.
Mojh: Hey, I could start the Mojh Mafia!
Spryte: No! No pirates, no Mob!
(We found a race of bug like creatures, called the Zim, that reproduce by attaching to a host and draining its life away. We procede to save those hosts that we can by removing the bugs)
Giant: But I feel kind of sorry for them. They're so small and defenseless- it's kind of cute.
Spryte: Please don't feel sorry for the baby bugs.
Later...
GM:... so the Zim drain a host's memories, and when newborn are fully functional.
Spryte: So they're not defenseless. Feel better?
Giant: A little.
Spryte: Come on, kill the Zim. All the cool characters do it.
GM: One attack at the spryte with an armor class of- Oh my God!
Spryte: Yes, I'm small, annoying and hard to hit. I'm a mosquito-
*GM rolls dice and makes a evil chuckle*
Spryte:- and you just critted me!
GM: If anyone's thinking of attacking him, you're considered shaken.
Spryte: Was anyone possibly in any way remotely thinking of attacking the 600 ft long dragon?
Mojh: Well, that was sort of plan B.
Spryte: No, it's plan C. Plan A: Negotiate with the dragon. Plan B: Die in great pain. Plan C: Attack the dragon.
Giant: Isn't Plan B the outcome of plan C?
Spryte: Yes, which is why we cut out the middle man
The group consisted of a giant warmain, a human turned mojh akashic/magister, a spryte wind witch/hawk totem warrior, a human greenbond, and a litorian winter witch/unfettered.
******************
Giant: So we have crew of undead and a pirate ship- let's go raid some shipping!
Spryte: We are NOT becoming pirates.
Mojh: You know, with a undead crew, we wouldn't have to pay them anything.
Spryte: No pirates!
Spryte: Let's kill them all and take their ship.
Giant: I thought you didn't want to be a pirate.
Spryte: I don't. I just want to commit random acts of mayhem. Pirates do it for profit, I do it for fun.
Mojh: Hey, I could start the Mojh Mafia!
Spryte: No! No pirates, no Mob!
(We found a race of bug like creatures, called the Zim, that reproduce by attaching to a host and draining its life away. We procede to save those hosts that we can by removing the bugs)
Giant: But I feel kind of sorry for them. They're so small and defenseless- it's kind of cute.
Spryte: Please don't feel sorry for the baby bugs.
Later...
GM:... so the Zim drain a host's memories, and when newborn are fully functional.
Spryte: So they're not defenseless. Feel better?
Giant: A little.
Spryte: Come on, kill the Zim. All the cool characters do it.
GM: One attack at the spryte with an armor class of- Oh my God!
Spryte: Yes, I'm small, annoying and hard to hit. I'm a mosquito-
*GM rolls dice and makes a evil chuckle*
Spryte:- and you just critted me!
GM: If anyone's thinking of attacking him, you're considered shaken.
Spryte: Was anyone possibly in any way remotely thinking of attacking the 600 ft long dragon?
Mojh: Well, that was sort of plan B.
Spryte: No, it's plan C. Plan A: Negotiate with the dragon. Plan B: Die in great pain. Plan C: Attack the dragon.
Giant: Isn't Plan B the outcome of plan C?
Spryte: Yes, which is why we cut out the middle man
Herpes Cineplex
First Post
Lady Mer said:
We had a similar incident in our Scarred Lands game. We were having a showdown with a very evil organization, and at the start of the fight our paladin more or less called 'em out of their big manor house. We were surprised when it turned out that there were an awful lot of them in there, and the battle turned against us quickly.
About two thirds of the way through, my halfling wizard got cut off from the rest of the group by two ogres, and things weren't looking good for anyone else, either. The monk and the ranger/rogue were getting savaged by a behir, the paladin was fighting off a giant, a sphinx, and a couple of ogres, and the cleric was so busy trying to keep the monk from dying that she couldn't help at all.
So clever me, I decide to take this round to protect myself, in preparation for cutting loose with some really nasty spells on the following round. I cast an Iceshards spell, which upped my armor class to 27, and I was feeling pretty good about that. "Milo looks up at the ogre in front of him and says 'You just go ahead and try it, ugly,'" I told the GM, making a quick rude gesture.
So of course the taunted ogre gets a natural 20. *WHUMP!* for heavy damage, nearly knocking Milo completely out of the fight.
The cleric's player then says in an exasperated voice, "For god's sake, people, STOP TAUNTING THESE GUYS!"
--
it was painful, but so worth it
ryan
Ssyleia
First Post
A year ago my players were visiting a world based on the Mad Max movies - opponents hat shotguns and uzis versus the PC's trusted magic longswords and spells.
Funny thing happened there - fully true to Mad Max 2 an encampment of raiders built a truck fortress around one of the last remaining fuel supplies. PC objective was to get in and get "modern" equipment, especially ammunition. The party's cleric decided to weaken the fortification with an earthquake spell and then sent a summoned fire elemental inside. He was well surprised to find what a fire elemental coming into contact with a cracked subterranean fuel tank would do...
I think we did nothing but laughing for about two hour straight!
Ever since then whenever that player (my brother) comes up with a plan, he gets reminded of this. He can get soooo red in the face ;-)
Funny thing happened there - fully true to Mad Max 2 an encampment of raiders built a truck fortress around one of the last remaining fuel supplies. PC objective was to get in and get "modern" equipment, especially ammunition. The party's cleric decided to weaken the fortification with an earthquake spell and then sent a summoned fire elemental inside. He was well surprised to find what a fire elemental coming into contact with a cracked subterranean fuel tank would do...
I think we did nothing but laughing for about two hour straight!
Ever since then whenever that player (my brother) comes up with a plan, he gets reminded of this. He can get soooo red in the face ;-)
Ssyleia
First Post
Another one...
One of the players had been absent for a month or so. My games usually encorporate much intrigue - less combat. This was about 10 years ago...
Anyway, the party had spent hours upon hours of real-time to get to the "Mulmaster Beholder Coprs" as spies. Their objective was to disable the corps ability to respond to a Cormyrite attack on Zhentil Keep.
The player cane to the session and was briefed on the situation. By bribery and magic the party had created a high ranking ally among the corps' human leaders. While negotiating the deal the formerly absent player bluntly told the contact: "If you fail at this, the beholder corps won't be disabled and could endanger the Cormyrean attack."
Needless to say, combat ensued. By breaking her enhanced staff of power the party wizard blasted the beholder corps to oblivion, along with a sizable part of downtown Mulmaster...
Ironically, thanks to her ring of regeneration the only party member to survive the incident was the character of that particular player ;-)
One of the players had been absent for a month or so. My games usually encorporate much intrigue - less combat. This was about 10 years ago...
Anyway, the party had spent hours upon hours of real-time to get to the "Mulmaster Beholder Coprs" as spies. Their objective was to disable the corps ability to respond to a Cormyrite attack on Zhentil Keep.
The player cane to the session and was briefed on the situation. By bribery and magic the party had created a high ranking ally among the corps' human leaders. While negotiating the deal the formerly absent player bluntly told the contact: "If you fail at this, the beholder corps won't be disabled and could endanger the Cormyrean attack."
Needless to say, combat ensued. By breaking her enhanced staff of power the party wizard blasted the beholder corps to oblivion, along with a sizable part of downtown Mulmaster...
Ironically, thanks to her ring of regeneration the only party member to survive the incident was the character of that particular player ;-)
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