Gaming, Adults, and Growing Up

[Pbartender]

FYI, I live on the Arkansas-Oklahoma border. In Arkansas, if you cohabitate with some one for six months, they are considered your common law spouse. They entitled to the same rights as any other spouse. However, it is much easier to divorce them .

Arkansas has never allowed common law marriage, though I think they do recognize them from other states.

And it's actually more difficult to dissolve a common law marriage, since there is no such thing as a common law divorce... You have to petition your state government (through the courts) to annul it.

 

[Janx]

according to legend, the concept of common-law marriages in texas were because it might be awhile before a JOP or preacher might be around to marry a couple proper like.

Also according to legend, in texas, if you present yourselves as married to others, then in effect you are.

the reality of any such common-law marriage is that you can't enforce what isn't contested or documented.

Meaning, if you shack up with your honey for whatever time period the law says your common-law married, it still don't matter a hill of beans to breaking up unless one of you brings it to court, or you've filled out a lot of documents as if you were married.

basically, if the state has nothing saying y'all are married, and y'all break up, then move yer stuff out and call it done. It only gets messy when somebody starts filing paperwork, and worse, sues based on a presumption of being married.

 

[khantroll]

The easier to divorce line was a joke, referring to exactly what Janx said. about moving their stuff out. As for Arkansas recognizing common law marriage, it may just be a local county (sebastian) rule/law dealing with cohabitation rather then named common law marriage. I know several people who have fallen into legal proceedings involving signifcant others living with them that are extremely similar to those involving married couples (such as local tax issues, bills, bankruptcies, fiancial support, etc). Those couples did, of course, live together much longer then six months.

It might be simply the way things are handled here. I have noticed as I have gotten older that we have a lot of proceedures that are simply that (proceedure) as opposed to being laws. Instances that I have dealt with personally are automatic judgements for the plaintiffs in civil matters (assuming no gross misconduct), and the way domestic disputes are handled (by sending the one with another place to go away, regardless of property ownership or who was the aggressor). Obviously, these do not represent the way the legal code is written, but it is what happens.

I have always been told by others exactly what I posted regarding common law marriage in the state, and so I parrotted it. I am sorry if I was in error.

 

[Aeolius]

North Carolina simplifies things by making cohabitation, "an unmarried man and woman who lewdly or sexually associate and live or bed together in the same dwelling", illegal. While it is seldom enforced, it is technically illegal to shack up with one's boyfriend/girlfriend, here.

 

[Pbartender]

I have always been told by others exactly what I posted regarding common law marriage in the state, and so I parrotted it. I am sorry if I was in error.

Hey, don't worry about it...

My in-law are unmarried, but have been living together for more than twenty years. A while back, my wife and I were curious to know whether or not they were actually common law married, so we did a little research on the subject to find out.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

divorce law is varies from state to state. In California, you're pretty screwed.

In texas, not as much. If I recall, in TX what you owned before the divorce is still yours. It's only assets gained during the marriage that have to be split up.

For the record, you just described community property. California is a community property state. I don't know for sure about Texas, but I doubt it.

So you very likely have things exactly backward.

 

[Umbran]

Wikipedia is your friend

Common Law Marriage:
Common-law marriage in the United States - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(This is, of course, for academic interest only, and does not constitute legal advice in any way, shape, or form)

Community Property:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Community_property

"In the United States there are ten community property states: Alaska, Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and Wisconsin...."

But even that doesn't give the whole story. Massachusetts, for example, is not an community property state. We have "Equitable division". If you divorce, your assets get split up "equitably", which is not the same as 50-50. In general, if you earned it during the marriage, it is shared. If you didn't *earn* it (like, say, an inheritance), then it isn't shared unless you specifically make it shared. If you own a house and your spouse moves in, it is probably still yours, but if you buy it during the marriage,then it is probably "marital property", and gets split up equitably. It gets tangled...

 

[pawsplay]

Only a few US states (Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and Washington DC) allow common law marriage any more... It's not a very common thing in the US.

Texas technically doesn't have common law marriage... statute defines "informal" marriage, and you can actually file to have an informal marriage recognized formally. However, it is a very common law marriage-like situation.

 

[WSmith]

To set the stage for this I'd like to say that I am a 21 year old University Student and that I am of course a gamer and a "nerd".

I recently went out with my girlfriend, who within the next year I will be engaged to, and somehow the topic game up that she thinks that I am too wrapped up in all my "games", as she puts them, and that she thinks that eventually I need to grow up and leave that stuff behind.

I was rather bothered by this as being a gamer, being a "nerd" is part of who I am, and I told her that gaming was something I would be doing in one form or another for the rest of my life. She wasn't too thrilled by this, but we got to the mall and our discussion turned elsewhere.

I'm wondering how other people how dealt with a situation like this, where gaming is considered a non-adult thing to do and you just need to grow up. How do other people react to this sort of attitude?

Dndungeoneer

My friend, please listen to what I have to say but in the end make your own decision.

I have not read the replies, only you original post. I WAS you 20 years ago. My wife pretty much told me the same thing. She is now my ex-wife. My hobby was not the only reason we got divorced, however, she didn't want to accept me for the way I was which led to more serious issues of not accepting me for the way I was. Don't buy that "growing up" line, unless that is a train of thought that you honestly and sincerely subscribe to. If you yourself feel like it is time to give it up then that is one thing. If you are giving up gaming cause your soon-to-be fiancée doesn't want you doing it cause she thinks it is immature, then my advice would be to find another soon-to-be fiancée.

You are 21. You have time to decide what you want in life. No need to rush growing up cause once you do, you will never get it back.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

 

[Thalionalfirin]

Many think the basic dichotomy is between being "grown up", and being childish.

I'm pretty sure that's wrong.

I think true maturity is the state of being able to choose appropriate times to be childlike.

That's very deep. I like that. Thank you, Umbran.