Gaming and your Significant Other

[Hijinks]

One of my friends recently married and his wife doesn't really like his gaming. In fact she doesn't like anything he does that doesn't directly involve her. She has no friends of her own and wants him to be all her social activity. She's getting better, but I still think she'd prefer it if he just spent every waking moment with her and dumped all his friends.

I would personally see this as a.) a great way to help my male friend, and b.) a great way to make a new female friend. You could call her up and introduce yourself as a friend of her husband's, and would she maybe like to go catch a movie sometime. You'd benefit by having friends who weren't necessarily into gaming (I think it's good to have a variety of interests and friends with different interests), and she would probably get off his back if she had a friend to hang out with. As an added bonus, perhaps if she saw that you, a cool female that she respects, also like D&D, she'd get more interested in it and maybe learn to play. I'd at least make the effort, or you risk losing your male friend like others here have said they have.

 

[pogre]

My wife was in the gaming group until we started having children. For her, it was just a way to spend more time together. She occasionally picks up the dice these days, but it's tough with the children. So gaming night has become my "guys' night" and I watch the kids when she has stuff going on.

 

[Kanegrundar]

I need a "They know but just don't get it" option.

Same here. I can get her to play the occasional boardgame that isn't Trivial Pursuit or Scene It, but it's rare. She just doesn't understand the fun in a game that possibly may never end and doesn't truly have a winner.

Kane

 

[der_kluge]

I need a "They know but just don't get it" option.

What are you talking about? You don't have a significant other!

 

[der_kluge]

I need a "they know, are ok with it, but believe that I spend far too much time with the hobby" option.

My wife sometimes gets frustrated at how much time I spend with the hobby. She's very protective of my time.

 

[TheEvil]

In response to 'They don't get it'

Okay, now I have a better idea where you are coming from. I don't feel that your SO has to understand what you do to support your doing it. I am not really digging into the reasons with a simple post. All I am really asking is: Do you get flack for your hobby? If yes, then they don't approve, even if they flex enought to let you. If they think it is silly but don't interfer or try to stop you, then they are supportive (-ish).

Don't read too much into a simple poll.

 

[loki44]

Don't read too much into a simple poll.

Then yes, she is okay with it. You asked for the clarification I believe.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

Yea, My SO understands there are 2 things in my life.

And as long as one doesn't cancle out the other everything is OK.

Isn't that right precious PHB, and gorgeous DMG. You don't mind if I'm married do you seductive MM? You know you'll always come first.

Actually, my wife games with me. Fully understnads the hobby. Even paints miniatures (whcih is nice since I suck at it).

Though I did know a guy who missed the birth of his child for a D&D game. Wife gave birth 2 weeks early & he'd accidently turned his cell phone off. What's the CR of rabid, enraged mother-in-law?

 

[TheEvil]

Then yes, she is okay with it. You asked for the clarification I believe.

That wasn't directed at you as much, and I appreciated the clarification

 

[Aristotle]

My girlfriend says she is okay with it, but she is obviously not entirely okay with it by her actions. I think she sometimes feels she is competing with the games I play for my attention. She might even be right sometimes, although I generally put in the effort to be a good boyfriend (or at least I try).

I can't say that she doesn't get it, because she played as a kid (her aunt ran games for her and her cousins). But no matter what game I use or what story I pitch, she is simply not willing to play now.

*sigh* Life would be so much easier if the population of female gamers were closer to that of male gamers (which has not been my experience). I'm so envious of couples that game together, because gaming is such a huge part of who I am and I'd love to share that with someone.