Gaming and your Significant Other

[barsoomcore]

My wife is an avid gamer. She's been playing in Barsoom since the beginning and has had more character deaths than anyone else. I'm not real easy on her.



She's now planning to run her own CoC game. She's a fine woman, is what she is.

 

[Patryn of Elvenshae]

My wife started gaming with me while we were engaged.

She knew, beforehand, that I played, but I never thought she'd actually want to try it. Turns out she plays a pretty mean Bard / Barbarian.

 

[philreed]

I'm lucky in that my wife games -- hell, there are some weeks she spends more time with the xBox, online games, and board games than I do. When she was working with children she frequently used games and play therapy techniques.

 

[loki44]

If your SO knows you are gaming, they are either okay with it or they aren't.
Unless of course you would care to expand on what you mean by 'They don't get it.'

I thought Crothian summed up my situation pretty well, so if I may be so bold I'll try to answer your question. My wife knows I game but she has no clue what that entails apart from the fact that we use funny dice. She's never observed a game and has no context for "getting it". She sees my crap lying all over the place. I don't hide anything from her, but she's just not that interested in it. It's sort of a don't ask, don't tell situation. She knows I have fun when I play so she supports that. She plays cards once, sometimes twice a week. I support that because I know she enjoys it. I guess you could say she is okay with the fact that I get together with friends to have fun, but "doesn't get" the game to such a degree that it makes the analysis, in simple black and white terms, moot.

 

[Mercule]

One of my friends recently married and his wife doesn't really like his gaming. In fact she doesn't like anything he does that doesn't directly involve her. She has no friends of her own and wants him to be all her social activity. She's getting better, but I still think she'd prefer it if he just spent every waking moment with her and dumped all his friends.

Whenever I hear/read the first sentence, I automatically assume the rest. Such has been my universal experience. I used to be very good friends with a guy. He was a candidate for godfather to my firstborn, even. A couple of years ago, he started dating a gal. Shortly thereafter, he dropped out of the weekly game, wouldn't even show up for one-shots, and pretty much stopped hanging out with any of us entirely -- I think we've gotten together twice, other than a lunch here or there. Probably the fourth time I've seen it happen to a close friend. They just always seem... broken afterwards. This guy fared better than the others, though.

Just makes me appreciate my wife all the more. As if I didn't appreciate her enough when she asked to see Reign of Fire on our anniversary a few years back -- after I'd told her that I was willing to go see anything, even the most horrifically mushy chick-flick she could find.

 

[Wombat]

I've had three serious girlfriends during my gaming days. Of the three, 1 loathed rpgs; the other two were glad that I had a hobby I loved so much (one even joined in a couple of sessions).

There is no one current, so I think I will run with the majority opinion of the past.

 

[Mercule]

I'm lucky in that my wife games -- hell, there are some weeks she spends more time with the xBox, online games, and board games than I do.

When my wife became a stay-at-home mom, she used to get something like three hours a day, at nap times, to just play games. I was very jealous. Of course, now that we have three of 'em, she doesn't exactly get the same amount of free time.

 

[TheAuldGrump]

I need a "They know but just don't get it" option.

Heh! Spot on!

My S.O. does not understand gaming at all, she doesn't disapprove (much), just feels that it is childish. But she doesn't try to stop my gaming, and will read a book while the game is going on.

Her only experience with gaming was in the 1980s, in a kick open the dor, kill the monster, grab the treasure, run out the door style AD&D game, so that is what she thinks that the game is about. Though I almost got her to play Changeling: the Dreaming once. She likes the pretty miniatures too, and has had me paint 'dust catchers' for her mother around Christmas.

The Auld Grump

 

[CarlZog]

My wife knows I game but she has no clue what that entails apart from the fact that we use funny dice. She's never observed a game and has no context for "getting it". She sees my crap lying all over the place. I don't hide anything from her, but she's just not that interested in it. It's sort of a don't ask, don't tell situation. She knows I have fun when I play so she supports that. She plays cards once, sometimes twice a week. I support that because I know she enjoys it. I guess you could say she is okay with the fact that I get together with friends to have fun, but "doesn't get" the game to such a degree that it makes the analysis, in simple black and white terms, moot.

This is almost exactly my situation as well. She accommodates my gaming because she knows I enjoy it, but it's definitely not one of our shared interests.

I was out of gaming due to work when we met, and it wasn't until a few years later that life settled down enough for me to get back into it. She was concerned when I first started playing again. To her, it was weird, geeky and all about killing. She's mellowed on that front. I've tried to explain it a couple times, just to sooth her initial concerns, and I think she understands the concepts better than she lets on -- but it's definitely nothing she wants any part of.

Carl

 

[Wild Gazebo]

My wife just recently quit gaming...which is too bad 'cause she is quite good at the roleplay part of it. She had fun and was interested in it a bit more than just trying to be sociable but, alas, life has reared its ugly head. She isn't all that thrilled with a couple of new players and hates when people play evil characters--except the DM. She also hates sitting down for the LONG sessions we have. We don't play very often so when we do it is at least eight hours long--usually longer.
So when we game she basically has the day to herself--which probably works out far better considering I would like more days all to myself. But no, there aren't any issues with gaming--just comitting time to a game that she is OK with and doesn't live and breath like so many other EN Worlders.