Gay men or women who play D&D

[Cougar]

Well, I am personally not gay (I think) but I have had two groups in which members were gay. The first had one gay and one very confused bi. The group we have now has had two gay members, but one has since left us (thankfully). I have actually encountered more gay people in a RPG context than in any other.

I of course can not say if or why other gamers either more readily accept or shun gay gamers, but I can say that sexuality has never mattered to me in any form, so gaming is just another aspect of life where I may encounter people whom are different than I. I have been very good friends with all the gay gamers I have played with and consider them friends outside the gaming environment. To my knowledge no one in either of my groups ever treated any gay member differently (although in my first group only half knew about the two gay gamers). My friend from the first group had never fully come out to everyone (not to family and certain friends) and he told me his gaming was a reflection of his acting ability and the opportunity to play whatever role he desired. He never played female or gay characters.

 

[Halma]

Honored

I am asking this as a true friend. So if this seems incensitive please let me know. I am truely innocent and sometimes niave where gay people are concerned so please forgive me. (Being from Oil City PA; population 7,000)

But strangely I found myself feelling really honored by learning that my friend was Gay. I say honored because he would share this information with me and be as open about himself as possible.

Am I wrong in this feeling?

I knew already, but his telling me directly really hit home as being a stepping stone into a true friendship. Not that it matters what sexual prefrence he has, but that he trusts me enough to except him for what he is, and with no judgement.


Halma

 

[Samnell]

Am I wrong in this feeling?

I don't think so, for the same reasons you listed.

 

[Poltergeist]

So... any good-looking, mature gaymers out there in Central Florida?

*Raises hand*

Oh, wait...never mind. I am horribly immature. ;-)

 

[Winterthorn]

I'm a friend of Dorothy too

I'm really impressed by this thread, and I couldn't stay silent.

From my experience, I have had to, and still do, separate my sexuality from my gaming interests. I hope to merge the two some day. But the gamers I know today are too homophobic and mysogynist too. While we all enjoy gaming, beyond that my politics veer a hard left while their's becomes straight AND narrow. To be more precise I know two who simply can't deal with "harsh realities" such as fact that they have a homosexual (moi) at the table--I swear at least one is a deep, deep, closet case, but it is only up to him to come out because no one has the right to drag someone out of the closet.

On the flip side, none of my queer friends seem the type to accept gaming. Today, I would be embarrassed to let gay men know of my hobbies. (I would add that in my years working for Pride celebrations, I got to know many queers, and very little evidence that my gay male peers were interested in anything but dancing, sex and drugs or decorating their condos. Oh the stereotyping But that has been my experience in one the most gay friendly cities in Canada. I wish it had been different. Maybe it can sometime in the future?)

Gawd, I just realized, I play with 4-5 men, 3 of which are in their mid-30's and still live with their mothers (fathers deceased or divorced). My last boyfriend, the sweet air-head horror genre fan, would have snapped his fingers had he known this and said: "Can you say Bates, grrlfriend, Norman Bates?"

I have lived strange experiences and I have odd friends. Since I'm moving to a new city soon, maybe I'll find a "gayme" much more to my liking?

Change is a good thing.

Thanks for the chance to spill my 2 cents. I appreciate this thread.

-Winterthorn

PS: I saw a few photos of Gen Con around here, and I found Morrus looked kinda cute behind his self-conscious scruffiness. Just an innocent little o' thought of mine

 

[The Serge]

*Raises hand*

Oh, wait...never mind. I am horribly immature. ;-)

 

[WizarDru]

Re: Re: Yes I am!

lol, been there for a few of these, many times folks aren't as shocked as you think they will be

Heh. Another friend came out when I was in college (the 'I'm in self-denial, I'll join a frat' phase) and waited for me to react. It was pretty funny, as I was the fourth person he'd told, and no one had given him anything but a 'Oh. That's nice. Where we going for dinner?' kind of response. He was right put out. I think he had prepared a whole 'afterschool special' set of material to use, and none of us gave him the opportunity.

 

[Furn_Darkside]

Re: Re: Re: Yes I am!

...and none of us gave him the opportunity.

*chuckle* My freshmen roommate was gay, and when he told me - he had hard worked it up into some dramatic moment.

I had a similar reaction to what you stated. Though, I can understand his concern- we had been getting along pretty well and he was worried I would freak out.

Overall, I am thankful for that experience. He was an interesting guy, and he was very open to discussing homosexuality on a personal and a social level.

I don't think my opinion about homosexuality changed, but I came to the definite opinion that what people do in the privacy of their own lives is none of my business- and nor should they make it my business.

Life is never boring..

FD

 

[Piratecat]

Re: Where're the women?

Wow... Plenty of gay gamers hanging around, but where'd all of the women go?

In the Scarred Lands game I play in (and used to run), there are five or six women; two of them are gay. No one really cares about their sexuality one way or another.

 

[Urbanmech]

When I first joined my group out here, I was the token straight guy out of the five of us. They were out from the beginning but sex doesn't come up too much during the game. There are a lot of jokes about visiting the bathhouse though.

Now our group is balanced with 3 straigh, 3 gay. Ironically it is the straight guys that have run more of the female characters. I feel that the gay gamers are more accepting of the cross gender roleplaying than some of my all straight groups.

In the end it doesn't matter what anyones orientation is or what types of charactes they play, as long as we are sitting around rolling dice and having a great time.