Girl Gamer Stereotypes...or lack thereof?

[Teflon Billy]

I'd think the (TB/fusangite etc) view that men can't/shouldn't play female PCs was fully in accord with feminist doctrine, but maybe I'm mistaken.

Actually, you are right and totally caught me out on this S'mon

I meant look into any of the myriad "Girls who game" thread (othe than this one) for examples of guys getting all up in arms about the idea of generalizations being placed on groups of people.

Thanks for the heads up

 

[seasong]

One girl in a group is ok. Second girl in a group... means war.

I have known, um, two girls who behaved like this. Out of perhaps three dozen that I've known well. Not counting junior high or high school. It isn't a mark of masculine oppression, but immaturity. Boys do it too, especially when there is an attractive rear end within sight. There is a reason why "competitive behavior" is also "testosterone behavior", no?

There is oppression, don't get me wrong. There's still oppression today. But blaming everything from gum disease to teenage cruelty on it doesn't get us anywhere.

-seasong

 

[The Little Raven]

Until I was 16 years old, the gamer "girls" (and I use the term loosely, as all of them resembled men... perfectly) were... well... not the easiest on the eyes.

When I was 16, I met a redhead named Jennifer that was interested in Werewolf: The Apocalypse (I spotted her looking through the book), and I invited her to join my group and try out some other games... since then, I've introduced over two dozen beautiful young women to the world of roleplaying, most of which I introduced to D&D directly. All of them went on to become regular gamers, and three of them became bigger "geeks" than me.

In fact, I have a small box full of thank-you letters from several of the girls, and their very appreciative gamer boyfriends.

Last Saturday, I met another gorgeous gamer girl down at the beach. She was sitting in the sand, reading a copy of Dragons of a Fallen Sun, so I stopped to chat with her about it. She told me that she was still deciding whether to make the update to 3.5, and I gave her my opinion on the matter (yes). She talked about how her boyfriend always made fun of her for being a "geek" and his comments are really starting to bother her. I told her she just needs to find a gamer guy... so I'm taking her to Street Scene tonight (the biggest music festival in California).

Gamer girls rule.

 

[fusangite]

S'mon says

I'd think the (TB/fusangite etc) view that men can't/shouldn't play female PCs was fully in accord with feminist doctrine, but maybe I'm mistaken.

I'm sure that some feminists might agree with my views, while others would vehemently oppose them. I'll reconsider these views when I see a male player effectively play a female PC; whether my views align with a particular doctrine in an individual case is pretty meaningless to me. If one has a reasonably balanced and realistic worldview it's not going to conform precisely to any ideology; I sometimes find I agree with the pope. It doesn't make me a Catholic.

 

[Humanophile]

If your spouse is so ignorant of the context of gaming (group of people, sitting around playing some kind of weird game, social activity, you're welcome to drop in anytime, dear) that she sees it as *dangerous*, then I think the problem is a little deeper than the fact that one spouse is not a gamer.

I mean, unless this game involves the husband taking Cute Gamer Chick to a swanky romantic hideaway for 4-8 hours, what you're saying is that it's reasonable for a wife to be suspicious of an otherwise trustworthy husband simply because, in his socializing, the group of people includes an attractive female.

To take this hypothetical wife's side, I'd be iffy if my girlfriend were to start gaming with a new group. (Granted, I'd need to both be nonsingle and a nongamer for that to happen, but I've seen equivalents in my past.) Gaming tends to lead to plenty of friendly interaction outside of the table and plenty of opportunity for reasonable game chatter to mutate into something else. I've heard of several cases of relationships blooming at the table, and it's not unlikely that at least some of those broke up previously established ones. And while it'd be nice to have a fully trusting and trustworthy partner, I'm afraid many of us aren't that ideal.

(Not meaning to rag on you too hard. I'm just a veteran of too many similar stories to think "you should trust your partner unconditionally" to be a good plan.)

On gamer girls in general, I've only had the chance to bring one to the dark side, although I used to meet a bunch of "I've never played but I really want to"s online. (There're more geek girls than most people think out there. They just have to be made aware of their options.) The only common thread they had was a strong fantasy life, usually expressed through reading or personal drama. (When one can't find appropriate fantasy outlets for one's urges, they tend to squeeze out into real life. I wonder how catty high school cheerleaders would act around a gaming table...) Sadly, I've met more than my share of goths, drama junkies, and reluctant girlfriends than proper gamer-geek girls or (that holiest of grails) seemingly normal girls who just happen to really like gaming.

 

[Morbidity]

To take this hypothetical wife's side, I'd be iffy if my girlfriend were to start gaming with a new group. (Granted, I'd need to both be nonsingle and a nongamer for that to happen, but I've seen equivalents in my past.) Gaming tends to lead to plenty of friendly interaction outside of the table and plenty of opportunity for reasonable game chatter to mutate into something else. I've heard of several cases of relationships blooming at the table, and it's not unlikely that at least some of those broke up previously established ones. And while it'd be nice to have a fully trusting and trustworthy partner, I'm afraid many of us aren't that ideal.

Interesting. I can’t imagine my boyfriend not trusting me to game without him, which is just as well as I do it all the time. All he does is give me a joking warning before I leave not to hit on the DM (we met through gaming and he was my DM) and asks me (also in a joking manner) if anyone hit on me when I get home (if I’d been to a Con). I don’t particularly see how gaming is different from any other social activity. Would you really not trust your girlfriend to get involved in any social group involving both sexes unless you were also involved?

 

[MrFilthyIke]

Interesting. I can’t imagine my boyfriend not trusting me to game without him, which is just as well as I do it all the time. All *snip*

Agreed. Without some trust there is not much of a foundation to build on.

 

[mythago]

Gaming tends to lead to plenty of friendly interaction outside of the table and plenty of opportunity for reasonable game chatter to mutate into something else.

That's pretty much true of any social interaction with other people. Unless you prohibit your spouse/SO from being in mixed-sex groups alone (that would make getting a job tricky, in most places), there is a risk that they will meet interesting, attractive members of the opposite sex.

A wife who is 'iffy' about her husband's gaming group might want to think about why she doesn't trust him, because if he wants to fool around, he certainly doesn't have to find a D&D group to do that. A husband whose wife fusses about Those Women being in his gaming group might wonder why his wife doesn't trust him to leave the house alone.

Yep, I too have heard stories about dice-crossed lovers (sorry), but realistically, they're no different than stories about workplace affairs, romances with classmates, dating people who work on the same political campaign, etcetera.

 

[Afrodyte]

That's pretty much true of any social interaction with other people. Unless you prohibit your spouse/SO from being in mixed-sex groups alone (that would make getting a job tricky, in most places), there is a risk that they will meet interesting, attractive members of the opposite sex.

A wife who is 'iffy' about her husband's gaming group might want to think about why she doesn't trust him, because if he wants to fool around, he certainly doesn't have to find a D&D group to do that. A husband whose wife fusses about Those Women being in his gaming group might wonder why his wife doesn't trust him to leave the house alone.

And, speaking as one of Those Women, I am often amazed that the SOs of my gamer guy friends would think I am attracted to said gamer guys anyway. It's really very amusing, and when I get wind of the "so-and-so thinks you like such-and-such," I try not to laugh since I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.