Girlfriend in Gamer's Clothing

[takasi]

One of my players told me a story about his last table and I wanted to know if anyone here has had similar experiences.

One of the gamers at the other table always brought his girlfriend to the game in order to share his love for the hobby. The problem is that she had no enthusiasm for the game. She repeatedly slowed down the game by failing to grasp simple concepts that initiative, armor class, hit points, etc. It wasn't like she couldn't figure it out; she seemed intelligent enough to play. It almost seemed like she was attempting to sabotage the game.

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game? Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

 

[Remathilis]

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game? Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

Yes and no.

I've known gamer-girlfriends who have shown up (or attempted to) just to "spend time" with their boyfiends. They really could care less if the game was D&D, blackjack or Uno. Its the social interaction, the feeling of being "included" in whatever he does, and (if their are mutal friends involved) to hang out with them. They might "try" to get the game, but they don't understand the "character imersion" aspect and thus the aspect of "role-playing" most people thing about.

However, IME, there has never been a sabotage to get him out GF. Unless you have the most ruthless gf on the planet, few girls are going to want to put a "it or me" element to the relationship by screwing it up; if he likes his friends, likes his game, and realizes she is the reason, she's probably the element to go... Most people (esp women) are smarter to paint themselves in a bad-light while forcing a change.

As a cavaet, I'm speaking to the "gamer girlfriend" to answer the question and because thats my experience, I'm sure though, a gamer-girl and a non-gamer bf could be in the exact same position.

 

[Dark Psion]

OK, for a moment there I thought you had a gamer show up in his girlfriend's clothing.

That is an entirely different problem.

 

[takasi]

As a cavaet, I'm speaking to the "gamer girlfriend" to answer the question and because thats my experience, I'm sure though, a gamer-girl and a non-gamer bf could be in the exact same position.

I probably should have added that too. I apologize to all of the true gamer girls out there who may have been offended. Like I said, it doesn't necessarily have to be about girlfriends or wives or boyfriends; it could be friends who attend but have no interest in the game.

From the description, I don't think the girl was ruthless. She probably thought the game was boring and that there was other stuff the two could be doing together. It sounded like she was very subtle, and probably saved most of her negative comments for after the sessions were over and her boyfriend felt like "venting" about little issues and problems that every table has. I got the impression from the story that her attendence only made spirits at the table worse.

 

[TheAuldGrump]

It really comes down to the question of whether the girlfriend respects her beau's hobby. (And it can work both ways - I have had a gamer girl bring her boyfriend to the game, who made a mess of it, one of the few times that I have understood the kneejerk 'I hate jocks' behavior that I have seen from gamers.) I have a permanent mark on my battlemat where a player's girlfriend tested out her magic marker. She would also get drunk at the game, then trying to lure the boyfriend away from the game to pay attention to her. (She was actually a good deal cruder about it than that, I am afraid.) After a while we had to drop both of them.

Boy or girl, it is a bad thing...

On the other hand I have seen the boy or girlfriend take an active interest in the hobby, or at least make an actual attempt, so your mileage may vary.

The Auld Grump, who does not try to force his nongaming girlfriend to play in his games...

 

[The Thayan Menace]

True Dat!

One of my players told me a story about his last table and I wanted to know if anyone here has had similar experiences.

Yup ... I was expelled from my old gaming table for (privately) expressing my dissatisfaction with the situation.

After my expulsion, I assembled a "drama-free" group of competent roleplayers; I actually look forward to game day now.

-Samir

 

[Balgus]

I tried too

I tried to introduce my GF, two brothers and one of their GF ro trhe game. It last 1 session.

All but my brother had no interest whatsoever. They thought it was cool that I had a hobby, but it was not what they want as their hobby. And I respect that.

My brother then joined my other gaming groupa nd played for a couple sessions. But between me and him, we cant get a game going. Its hard to keep a game going with just two people. We would rather play cooperative video games.

 

[ThirdWizard]

Had this happen once when someone brought her boyfriend. Yeesh, what a mess. He was a royale pain to have around. Another, different, person brought her boyfriend and he slept through most of the game, waking up when it was time to kill things.

I gamed once with my best friend's wife, and she wasn't so bad. Her dwarf kept insulting all the humans, though, and it was very surreal. But, overall, it was a fun experience.

That's the extent of significant others playing with us.

 

[Wayside]

OK, for a moment there I thought you had a gamer show up in his girlfriend's clothing.

That is an entirely different problem.

Or an entirely different opportunity.

 

[Fishbone]

Go hardcore or go out the door. When I GM I say that up front. I don't care who you are, if you don't know how to game or don't want to game you aren't in the game. Just because you're sleeping with Tony or sticking it to Beth doesn't mean you get to ruin our session.