Girlfriend in Gamer's Clothing

[MavrickWeirdo]

Hm. That doesn't strike me as sexist, so much as. . . odd(?) It just doesn't add up to what I personally have seen to be the case in life. Though I could be peculiar/singular in that. I'm not sure.

My girlfriend is a hardcore hobbyist, mind you. As is her best friend. Er. . . as is my (next) best female friend. So yeah, I might be in the minority, I guess.

Poor Aus_Snow surrounded by Hardcore Gamer Girls, (where do you live again?)

 

[Aus_Snow]

Poor Aus_Snow surrounded by Hardcore Gamer Girls, (where do you live again?)

Oops. Yeah, thanks for reminding me how that might've sounded.

The three people referred to there are not all hardcore gamers, but are all hardcore hobbyists in one or more ways. My girlfriend *is* (a hardcore gamer) though!

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

One of my players told me a story about his last table and I wanted to know if anyone here has had similar experiences.

One of the gamers at the other table always brought his girlfriend to the game in order to share his love for the hobby. The problem is that she had no enthusiasm for the game. She repeatedly slowed down the game by failing to grasp simple concepts that initiative, armor class, hit points, etc. It wasn't like she couldn't figure it out; she seemed intelligent enough to play. It almost seemed like she was attempting to sabotage the game.

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game? Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

Yes! She had a bit of enthusiasm for the game. It didn't help that, as a newbie, she kept trying to play monks, knife throwers, and other weak things.

I presume the gender doesn't really matter. We have a (real) female gamer in our group. She never invited her non-gaming boyfriends, though. (Good!) I presume if she did, they'd end up the same way. (We did actually invite one interested non-gamer to a game, and he picked it up really fast. But he had to fly back to Europe before the next game.)

The situation resolved itself (after a year) when the two broke up. That's not really something you can do, though.

 

[hong]

Had this happen once when someone brought her boyfriend. Yeesh, what a mess. He was a royale pain to have around.

Look on the bright side. If he'd picked through all your splatbooks to assemble the most broken, overpowered munchkin character you'd ever seen, he'd have been a royale with cheese.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

My experiences have mostly been in the other direction.

One group I played in, a player's fiancee (who we were all friends with) used to sit and watch when she didn't have studying to do. She had a tendency to offer suggestions - usually really good ones - to the players. The DM finally told her she could either roll up a character or stop offering suggestions. She joined the group and played until she and her husband moved away and eventually divorced. Man, I miss them both.

Another was a woman (a friend of the DM and a couple of players) who joined our game and brought her husband to play because she thought he would enjoy the game. After he felt comfortable with the group she quit because she just wasn't that into gaming. That's true love there.

 

[Umbran]

Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or girlfriend seemed to screw up the flow of the game?

No. However, I have frequently seen an intelligent person fail to pick up all the details at once on the fly, and so screw up the flow of the game. Don't forget, D&D has many fiddly-bits. No matter how simple each one is, there are so many that even intelligent people can get overwhelmed.

And being flooded with rules-bits and not having a cohesive picture of what's happenign is a fast way to lose interest.

People frequently go with their significant others to places and activities that aren't really their bag. They often don't get deeply into these activities, and lack enthusiasm. But do we accuse the bored-looking guy being towed along on a clothes-shopping trip of trying to sabotage the whole thing? No. He's just bored, and thus finds it difficult to pay attention.

Have you ever suspected that another person only shows up to influence a gamer into quitting the hobby?

No. I have seen people try to influence a gamer to quit, but such people have never joined a game I was in. They've always attempted it from outside.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Never had an SO mess up the flow of the game per se, but many years ago, my girlfriend at the time asked to come a long and just observe the game. Unfortunately, this turned out to be one of those nights where the game just flops. Everyone was tired, the adventure was lifeless, no one was into it, the session was a complete mess. Needless to say, she wasn't impressed by our hobby.

 

[Rpjunkie]

I am the Lucky one, My wife loves gaming and plays a prety good Sorcerer or thief. She has been gaming for 16 years . I guess I should count my blessings.

RPJ

 

[frankthedm]

Go hardcore or go out the door. When I GM I say that up front. I don't care who you are, if you don't know how to game or don't want to game you aren't in the group. Just because you're sleeping with Tony or sticking it to Beth doesn't mean you get to ruin our session.

Testify!

 

[Ruined]

We know some guys whose SO's vehemently oppose gaming, so maybe it's not as rare as some would think. Myself, I'm very fortunate. My wife is as much into the hobby as I am, and she's always advocating the game. She doesn't try to grab the spotlight - in fact she avoids it, knowing that too much of the DM's eye is never a good thing.