Arashi Ravenblade
First Post
I guess i lucked out my Girlfriend was into D&D and gaming in general before i even met her, and surprisingly she keeps all relationship stuff out of game time.
Girlfriend in Gamer's Clothing
- Thread starter takasi
- Start date
Once I was running my game at the home of one of the players in the group. His girlfriend (now his wife), who evidently didn't like the game, walked in when she got home from running errands, and told him "you're done playing now, the game is over, and your friends will have to leave"......that's when we'd been over for maybe 1-2 hours, and she'd been there for all of 15 minutes.
It was embarrassing to us, and, frankly rude of her to do so. The only two reasons I didn't say anything was because it was their apartment, so I was a guest, and I was shocked at having her talk that way, as I'd never had anything like that happen before.
Needless to say, it's been several years, and we've lost touch, as she never "allowed" him to play again, and they moved to another city.
I've also had players bring girlfriends, but in most cases they tried to participate.
Banshee
It was embarrassing to us, and, frankly rude of her to do so. The only two reasons I didn't say anything was because it was their apartment, so I was a guest, and I was shocked at having her talk that way, as I'd never had anything like that happen before.
Needless to say, it's been several years, and we've lost touch, as she never "allowed" him to play again, and they moved to another city.
I've also had players bring girlfriends, but in most cases they tried to participate.
Banshee
Beckett
Explorer
I've seen both sides of this.
A friend's girlfirend->wife became interested in the game, or interested in being around her husband more and since he was often gaming... Maybe she was legitimately interested in it at some point; she liked the Dragonlance novels, for example. However, I think she decided that D&D was not for her, but she was too stuborn to admit it, and too stuborn to leave this time with her husband. So, she kept showing up, but never learned the rules. Two years went by (and I think it went on this long because as tough as it is to kick out a player, it's even harder to tell a friend, "Dude, you're wife isn't exactly fitting in") and she still hadn't learned the rules; she couldn't make a character or level up without much handholding. She played variants on two characters: the annoying kender, or the loner (the archer always treading away from the party for a good sniping position, the wizard always with her face in a book). Whereas most players approached our weekly game with excitement, she always seemed moody, tired, and bored, sucking the energy out of everyone around her. Finally, there was an explosive incident, after which I declared she was not welcome at my table. And everyone has been happier since.
On the other hand, my girlfriend joined the group with much more enthusiasm, and joined before we were actually dating (she knew most of the players through other sources). She doesn't know all the rules, but she knows the ones that pertain to her character. She doesn't like character creation or leveling up, but can do them, and accepts them as a necessary evil for the fun stuff. There can be small problems, such as she comes from a free-form role-play background, while most of the group tends towards hack and slash, but most of the time it works out.
A friend's girlfirend->wife became interested in the game, or interested in being around her husband more and since he was often gaming... Maybe she was legitimately interested in it at some point; she liked the Dragonlance novels, for example. However, I think she decided that D&D was not for her, but she was too stuborn to admit it, and too stuborn to leave this time with her husband. So, she kept showing up, but never learned the rules. Two years went by (and I think it went on this long because as tough as it is to kick out a player, it's even harder to tell a friend, "Dude, you're wife isn't exactly fitting in") and she still hadn't learned the rules; she couldn't make a character or level up without much handholding. She played variants on two characters: the annoying kender, or the loner (the archer always treading away from the party for a good sniping position, the wizard always with her face in a book). Whereas most players approached our weekly game with excitement, she always seemed moody, tired, and bored, sucking the energy out of everyone around her. Finally, there was an explosive incident, after which I declared she was not welcome at my table. And everyone has been happier since.
On the other hand, my girlfriend joined the group with much more enthusiasm, and joined before we were actually dating (she knew most of the players through other sources). She doesn't know all the rules, but she knows the ones that pertain to her character. She doesn't like character creation or leveling up, but can do them, and accepts them as a necessary evil for the fun stuff. There can be small problems, such as she comes from a free-form role-play background, while most of the group tends towards hack and slash, but most of the time it works out.
mcrow
Explorer
Well I haven't run into anything like this yet. Of course the only female players I have played with like gaming.
My girlfriend obviously has no interest in gaming, though she respects that it is my hobby. She never has demanded or even asked that I skip a session to be with her. I have skipped a few times to spend time with her by my own free will. I have invited her to come watch but she isn't interested. I have my hobby and she sees that as a seperate thing from our relationship. Just as I would if she had a hobby i was not intersted in. I have my time with my friends and gaming and the rest I have with her.
My girlfriend obviously has no interest in gaming, though she respects that it is my hobby. She never has demanded or even asked that I skip a session to be with her. I have skipped a few times to spend time with her by my own free will. I have invited her to come watch but she isn't interested. I have my hobby and she sees that as a seperate thing from our relationship. Just as I would if she had a hobby i was not intersted in. I have my time with my friends and gaming and the rest I have with her.
Hairfoot said:
Come on now, this is horribly sexist. Sure there are women (and men) like this, but it's about the individuals, not the gender.
And anyway, why are you putting all the blame on the female, even though the male is a willing participant in their dysfunctional relationship? He's probably not the pick of the litter himself.
If anything, the behavior described in this thread seems to be over-represented in the women male gamers decide to have relationships with. What's that all about? It says more about male gamers than it does about women.
Dragonbait
Explorer
takasi said:
Yes and no.
Had a gf/bf pair. Both were good gamers and both liked the game. I later found out the gf was manic (or something like that) and she ocasionally would sit down at the gaming table and just..Not... Function.. Her 12th-level monk suddenly would be too scared to enter some haunted catacombs for absolutely no reason, and the bf would have his character carry her there. When she got into those modes, it would kill the evening sessions. When the two broke up, the group died. The girl was a good player, and about 90% of the time was not a problem. In fact, I enjoyed GMing for her more than the guy (he was too literal-minded and tried to base everything on his own sense of 'logic'). Really, I had more problems with players and their non-gamer s/o's.
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Agent Oracle
First Post
I think I can speak for the gross majority of gamers when I say "I have seen the very, very, VERY rare "Boyfriend in gamer's clothing".
Yes, the male equivalent, dragged into the taudry world of roleplay by the average gamer hottie (i.e. any female gamer, ever). Witnessed TWICE (by the same girl, with different guys). Boyfriends in gamer's clothing are far more rare, but also more easy to spot. They position themselves between their girlfriends and the rest of the table, right from the get go, almost as if claiming their territory. They make no attempt at the rules, only embracing the GTA-like aspects of D&D, they often going out of their way to try and sabotage the game ("I Piss on the altar / kill the king / throw the sorcerer over the cliff / wander off on my own to look for other stuff that's more interesting" etc.) if the boyfriend has any sort of experience with other RPG's (like computer games or (shudder) LARPing), he may actually generate a proficient character... or one that is proficient in hitting things and nothing else.
If the game runs longer than two hours, they may attempt to start an impromptu makeout session in the middle of combat and / or an important plot point.
We never see the boyfriend again.
Yes, the male equivalent, dragged into the taudry world of roleplay by the average gamer hottie (i.e. any female gamer, ever). Witnessed TWICE (by the same girl, with different guys). Boyfriends in gamer's clothing are far more rare, but also more easy to spot. They position themselves between their girlfriends and the rest of the table, right from the get go, almost as if claiming their territory. They make no attempt at the rules, only embracing the GTA-like aspects of D&D, they often going out of their way to try and sabotage the game ("I Piss on the altar / kill the king / throw the sorcerer over the cliff / wander off on my own to look for other stuff that's more interesting" etc.) if the boyfriend has any sort of experience with other RPG's (like computer games or (shudder) LARPing), he may actually generate a proficient character... or one that is proficient in hitting things and nothing else.
If the game runs longer than two hours, they may attempt to start an impromptu makeout session in the middle of combat and / or an important plot point.
We never see the boyfriend again.
sniffles
First Post
10+ years ago I was the girlfriend who came to the game just to be with her guy. Now I'm a hardcore gamer. 
I like to think I didn't disrupt the game balance or interfere with the atmosphere. If I did no one ever let on. They've always treated me as one of the gang. I felt welcomed and comfortable. That did a lot toward getting me interested in the game, although I was probably predisposed to enjoy it anyway.
I like to think I didn't disrupt the game balance or interfere with the atmosphere. If I did no one ever let on. They've always treated me as one of the gang. I felt welcomed and comfortable. That did a lot toward getting me interested in the game, although I was probably predisposed to enjoy it anyway.
Dragonbait
Explorer
Agent Oracle said:
I almost witnessed one of these last Friday. Freind of mine wanted to introduce many new players into a Star Wars game. There was a couple amongst the new players. The boyfriend was worried that it would be too nerdy. The girl ,apparently, was more into the idea. They did not show for the game and it was probably for the best.
Nyaricus
First Post
Urg. It wasn't a girlfriend, but one of the gamers sister that ruined one of our sessions, along with stealing two of our players away from the game (of course, it was a big game with 8 players, and I as DM described it as "they went off on a quest to find the Unicorns Antler" 
) Anyways. These two players (one was one of my best friends ATM, and the other was a friend of his, a tag-along really who only played a few sessions) got hammered with this other players' sister at the game, and we eventually had to tell them to F-off(!) because they were seriously distracting us. Turns out in the end of it all that the "best friend" was banging the sister behind all of our (and his girlfriends) backs and then sumarily lied to everyone about it. Jerk ![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
Needless to say, our gaming was forevermore comprimised on this and other points
EDIT: I should clarify - he wasn't banging her at the session, but OOG, sometime else. The post kinda reads the other way though
) Anyways. These two players (one was one of my best friends ATM, and the other was a friend of his, a tag-along really who only played a few sessions) got hammered with this other players' sister at the game, and we eventually had to tell them to F-off(!) because they were seriously distracting us. Turns out in the end of it all that the "best friend" was banging the sister behind all of our (and his girlfriends) backs and then sumarily lied to everyone about it. Jerk Needless to say, our gaming was forevermore comprimised on this and other points
EDIT: I should clarify - he wasn't banging her at the session, but OOG, sometime else. The post kinda reads the other way though
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