Great barbarian quotes

[Eldorian]

The games my group plays almost always contain at least one barbarian, and they all come up with the funniest quotes. I'm gonna throw some out, and feel free to add if you've heard any as well.

First, my sig, said by me

I will build a throne with the skulls of my foemen. (formal boast)

Will you lay with me? (said to attractive female bard)

No! I vill not be rescued by voman! I vould be laughing stock of Northland. No voman would marry me! Some hero, me.

Pick up axe and fight like orc! (said to orcs that surendered).



Eldorian Antar

 

[shilsen]

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the greataxe (sorry, it had to be said )!

Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen, but if it were not too presumptuous of me, could I suggest an amalgamation of our forces so as to achieve heightened safety and efficiency in future peregrinations around this doubtless inimical region? [Who says barbarians can't have scores of 15+ in Int, Wis and Cha?]

 

[Carnifex]

There was one game in which the party barbarian had said little more than grunts and basic word structures to do with killing monsters during a long and tough dungeon crawl. Then, after clearing one room of a small complex out, a party member suggested they bypass most of it and move on quickly.

The barbarian's reply?

"No, that would be tactically unadvantageous. First we must neutralise all the hostiles in this sector."

After hours of little more than 'ug's' from the barbarian this was hilarious

 

[Robbert Raets]

I have a text file with 'things your barbarian/berserker would never say'.

My favourite was "So sorry, I would appear to have stabbed you in the stomach with my broadsword"

I'm so gonna use that when I get to play a Barbarian....

 

[Holy Bovine]

Well its not original and has become more of a party motto than just something the barbarian has said but I always liked

"...and that's when the CHUD's came after us."

There's always the classic Conan one too in response to 'What is good in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women."

 

[Zander]

There's always the classic Conan one too in response to 'What is good in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentations of their women."

FYI that's a paraphrasing of a quote by Genghis Kahn.

 

[Holy Bovine]

FYI that's a paraphrasing of a quote by Genghis Kahn.

I didn't know that. The first time I ever heard it was in Conan the Barbarian movie. Well if there ever was a RL barbarian who made good I guess it would have been Genghis Kahn

 

[MarauderX]

One good reason not to have the barbarian as the 'front-man'; they tend to take rejection of demands rather poorly:

"Give me your food. Now. No? NO?!?" followed by rage on enemy outpost.

The party had a problem relating to the more dangerous of the two feelings an NPC barbarian had, indifference and anger.
"Give me my rope back. Yes, my silk rope. MY silk rope. No, it's MY rope. MY ROPE!, as in, MY ROPE! GIVE ROPE! ARRAAGHGHHH!!!"

I think I need to include the old Clint Eastwood standby too -
"Feelin' lucky, punk?"

 

[Wolv0rine]

Okay, it's not mine, but we all know it...

"Ariel! Ookla! Riiiiiide!"

heh heh heh

 

[DungeonKeeperUK]

From Muk my dwarven barbarian of very little brain, or focused brain as I like to see it...

"Muk... Smush"

though now hes placed a Circlet of Intellect +6 on his head, he may have to change his brainless ways..

"Muk shall smite thee mightrly with his waraxe, I shall kill you in your hundreds and still not think it too many...."