This . . . makes no sense. If I identify as a good ol' boy, "what happens" depends more on you, than on me?
Yep. At least, in terms of what goes on in internet forums.
You've made a self-identification. The reason to do that is to set some expectations. But, the expectations are in my head, not yours. What effect that identification has on our conversation going forward depends on what I think of good old boys, not on what you think of them, and on how I want to react to you with the new information, now on how you want me to react.
Basically, your self-identification is a chance for me to engage my prejudices. So, what happens next is up to my prejudices.
My prejudices against grognards (and good old boys) are mild to non-existent. Your identification doesn't fill me with a whole bunch of expectations of problems. I'm going to wait for you to blatantly act like aggressive jerk, rather than assume you are one, and read those things into your writing.
If I'm not looking for confrontation, I am notably less likely to find one.
That's something folks on the various sides of "style wars" often fail to recognize - you generally find whatever you're looking for. If you are looking for a fight, you'll find a fight. If you're looking for someone with a different set of preferences and tastes to learn from, you'll probably find that.
So you are basically in agreement with me about the feel of the term, "grognard" -- it's more than just "long-time player".
I think I've been pretty clear - what it means is
in the ear of the listener. It is most certainly not universally defined as one thing. To some it is more, to some it is less. Some have never heard the term, and for them it is meaningless jargon.