Yeah, I've found that DMing in someone else's house creates bad social dynamics, due to the distribution of authority. The exception is if I'm GMing a campaign at a good friend's house, but with more casual acquaintances it's a bad idea. GMing at my own house is ok, but 'good host' and 'good GM' are not exactly the same thing, so the best thing is to GM at a neutral venue.
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Handling Cheating
- Thread starter Lexeme
- Start date
Yeah, I've found that DMing in someone else's house creates bad social dynamics, due to the distribution of authority. The exception is if I'm GMing a campaign at a good friend's house, but with more casual acquaintances it's a bad idea. GMing at my own house is ok, but 'good host' and 'good GM' are not exactly the same thing, so the best thing is to GM at a neutral venue.
Storminator
First Post
Oh no, I'm nailing my job as DM. I'm just not doing the administrivia that my less burdened players can take care of without me.
PS
Maybe because I play with friends but I have never seen this as an issue. My roommate and I never DM at our home because we don't have the room. Even if we did I wouldn't because I have a parrot and with the excitement of gaming he would join in by talking and screaming.
I don't think the DM should be making a decision to kick someone out of the game without talking to the players. It is supposed to be everyone's game.
Oh no, I'm nailing my job as DM. I'm just not doing the administrivia that my less burdened players can take care of without me.
PS
Stopping cheating is not administrative trivia! As a player I'd be pretty annoyed if the GM abnegated responsibility and expected me to enforce discipline among my fellow players, I'd feel he was tacitly encouraging cheating. For some reason Elf Witch's "I trust you all not to cheat, this isn't a competitive game" approach comes across more acceptable; although I much prefer everything rolled openly and the GM making clear that cheating is not acceptable.
Storminator
First Post
Says you.
Despite a complete lack of enforced discipline, everyone rolls out in the open (including me), and cheating hasn't come up. Apparently, my system is working.
PS
On point 1 - from prior threads you have had a lot of trouble with social dynamics in your group, Elf Witch, though it seems to be more in the group you play rather than GM*. Maybe I've been a bit unlucky with the playing at others' houses, I think it depends a lot on the host. As a teenager I ran occasional games at friends' houses that were fine, but I felt very uncomfortable GMing at a player's house some years ago. But I guess that might have been a particular player with a particular house!
Kicking people out - I think ultimately it has to be the GM's decision, the GM can't GM for someone they don't like or can't stand their play style. But clearly in a group of good friends it can hurt relationships. I had a bad experiences with GMing a home game, where a manipulative player got a kick out of persuading me to boot other players, Lady MacBeth style - and making sure I got all the blame, too. GMing at the D&D Meetup is much better, and generally much easier to manage group membership. If I'm not getting along with a player, there are always other games for them to join. If I decide to quit a game (never actually been booted, myself), there are always other games.
*But your room mate has had lots of trouble GMing her campaign, right? Doesn't the host player cause her difficulty? Maybe if she GM'd at her own place (sans parrot) or in a neutral venue, it would be better.
She has had issues with one player but that is not whose house we play at. We would never kick him out because he is a great friend. He would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it.
One of the reasons we tolerate some of his gaming antics is because if we had to choose between the game and him we would choose him.
Where we game has nothing at all with some of the issues.
Besides if we tried to game at home people would be sitting on the hard floor. We don't have a dining room table. We have one small loveseat and two office chairs. We eat off TV trays.
I think there would be issues then because everyone would be cranky from lack of space and comfort.
Maybe because we are all friends and we have never had just one DM but a variety we have never viewed the DM as being the head of the group.
If a DM had an issue with a player and didn't want to DM him for him any longer we would discuss it. The solution might be to ask the person to sit out this game or we might ask the DM to take a break.
Like I said we are all friends outside of gaming.
Things might be different if we just gamed together and that was it.
While folks will talk about "social contracts", with the emphasis on the "contract", and talk about duties and obligations of GMs...
Tournament competition games aside, most games are casual things, played for fun. If you are at my table, I treat you like a friend first, and as a part of the "business" of the game second.
So, I approach this like I would any time it seems a friend willfully and knowingly did something rude in my home - which is to keep an open mind and discuss the matter like a friend, not a judge. Maybe my information is incorrect, or misinterpreted, or has some other explanation of which I'm not aware. So I am not going to shame someone in front of a crowd or anything the first time I address it.
I'll talk to the player first in private, and in a fairly non-confrontational tone. Less, "I saw you cheating, and the next time I see it you are GONE!" and more, "Dude, what's up with that?"
Tournament competition games aside, most games are casual things, played for fun. If you are at my table, I treat you like a friend first, and as a part of the "business" of the game second.
So, I approach this like I would any time it seems a friend willfully and knowingly did something rude in my home - which is to keep an open mind and discuss the matter like a friend, not a judge. Maybe my information is incorrect, or misinterpreted, or has some other explanation of which I'm not aware. So I am not going to shame someone in front of a crowd or anything the first time I address it.
I'll talk to the player first in private, and in a fairly non-confrontational tone. Less, "I saw you cheating, and the next time I see it you are GONE!" and more, "Dude, what's up with that?"
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jasper
Rotten DM
I have friends which I game with. Friends which I go to the movies with. Friend which I swing a stick at. And friends I discuss politics with. It very rare I have 1 or more friends which fit into all the above groups.
Just because you a friend does not mean i will exclude you from an activity because you are being a goober and ticking me off while we are doing the activity.
Just because you a friend does not mean i will exclude you from an activity because you are being a goober and ticking me off while we are doing the activity.
Traveon Wyvernspur
First Post
As to the question that was posed by the OP:
I make sure that everyone rolls out in the open so that everyone sees what was rolled. This means they can't get away with cheating their dice rolls and if they do I'd call them out on it right there in front of the rest of the group. If it continues to be a problem, I ask them to leave the game and I find a more honest person to take their seat. Simple and effective.
I make sure that everyone rolls out in the open so that everyone sees what was rolled. This means they can't get away with cheating their dice rolls and if they do I'd call them out on it right there in front of the rest of the group. If it continues to be a problem, I ask them to leave the game and I find a more honest person to take their seat. Simple and effective.
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