Aeson
I learned nerd for this.
He does live in Texas. Guns are issued to new borns at the hospital and at the border for people moving in. How to clean up blood follows learning how to shoot, walk, talk (in that order) come before learning to read.
Happy Haggert Hurried Hungry Hitch Hiking Hired Henchmen Hivers.... apply within
Aeson
I learned nerd for this.
I am learning the difference between alone and lonely. I live alone and mostly work alone. I am not alone. I rely heavily on my mom and my aunt. I have the Hive. One day my mom and aunt won't be here. One day the Hive will go dormant. I will be truly alone then. I feel lonely a lot. I know that feeling will only get stronger. It's been growing over the last 10 years. I dread the mess I will be in another 10 years.
I sometimes skip my medications. If I go without my antidepressants long enough I start feeling like I am right now. I have typed out a variant of this twice now. I know it is up to me to keep up with my meds and it is my choices that put me in this situation. It is my choice to change it or not to. I know I am weak and will probably keep making the wrong choices.
Funny story; I was standing around chatting with the employees at a gas station tonight. (I fancy one of the girls. I spend as much time talking to her as I can.) A man walks in. I can see him only from the shoulders up. I can tell he isn't wearing a shirt. As I watch him approach the counter I'm saying in my head "please be wearing pants" over and over. He comes from behind the shelves and I can see he is in fact wearing pants. I was relieved.
I sometimes skip my medications. If I go without my antidepressants long enough I start feeling like I am right now. I have typed out a variant of this twice now. I know it is up to me to keep up with my meds and it is my choices that put me in this situation. It is my choice to change it or not to. I know I am weak and will probably keep making the wrong choices.
Funny story; I was standing around chatting with the employees at a gas station tonight. (I fancy one of the girls. I spend as much time talking to her as I can.) A man walks in. I can see him only from the shoulders up. I can tell he isn't wearing a shirt. As I watch him approach the counter I'm saying in my head "please be wearing pants" over and over. He comes from behind the shelves and I can see he is in fact wearing pants. I was relieved.
Being alone and being lonely are definitely 2 different things.
A nickname I have for myself is The Brown Recluse. While I live with my folks, it’s a big house, so I don’t see them for most of the day- usually mealtimes (I’m the main cook, these days).
And my RW friends are mostly not keeping in touch with me anymore.
But I’m OK with that.
I used to get a little lonely in college, but I realized that was because I wasn’t getting girls like some of my buddies. Once I sorted that out into its own distinct issue, I became better adjusted to my isolationist tendencies. By the time I got to law school, going a couple of weeks without a meaningful face-to-face conversation was just fine.
A nickname I have for myself is The Brown Recluse. While I live with my folks, it’s a big house, so I don’t see them for most of the day- usually mealtimes (I’m the main cook, these days).
And my RW friends are mostly not keeping in touch with me anymore.
But I’m OK with that.
I used to get a little lonely in college, but I realized that was because I wasn’t getting girls like some of my buddies. Once I sorted that out into its own distinct issue, I became better adjusted to my isolationist tendencies. By the time I got to law school, going a couple of weeks without a meaningful face-to-face conversation was just fine.
Aeson
I learned nerd for this.
I get that my feelings of loneliness come from my lack of a girlfriend/wife. It hasn't gotten better as I got older. It seems to be getting worse. I went through a period where I was able to accept it easier than other times. Maybe I'd be better off if I hadn't had a brief relationship last year. Maybe it's because that relationship ended only because of how it could have impacted her job. It's like a drug, after the first taste you want more.
megamania
Hero
You are not alone.
Growing upas the son of the law in a small town I knew a lot of bad stuff. I knew a classmate was being sexually molested when I was 6. I was not to tell anyone (and I didn't) about it (I didn't even know what molested meant). It shaped me into a cynical and untrusted person whom was often a target of bullies looking to impress their fathers whom my father arrested or investigated.
Tried my best to be normal and in many respects I did so. But I never had true friends. The closest was gaming friends but many of them in Vermont did illegal things which placed a barrier of sorts up.
Now I need Lithium twice a day to suppress negative thoughts and impulses.
And worse - now I am in a wheel chair and the doctors still don't know what is wrong with me.
Every day I think about 'lonely and alone'.
I keep going if only out of spite.
Growing upas the son of the law in a small town I knew a lot of bad stuff. I knew a classmate was being sexually molested when I was 6. I was not to tell anyone (and I didn't) about it (I didn't even know what molested meant). It shaped me into a cynical and untrusted person whom was often a target of bullies looking to impress their fathers whom my father arrested or investigated.
Tried my best to be normal and in many respects I did so. But I never had true friends. The closest was gaming friends but many of them in Vermont did illegal things which placed a barrier of sorts up.
Now I need Lithium twice a day to suppress negative thoughts and impulses.
And worse - now I am in a wheel chair and the doctors still don't know what is wrong with me.
Every day I think about 'lonely and alone'.
I keep going if only out of spite.
megamania
Hero
Painfully true.
trappedslider
Legend
Nvidia GeForce RTX 3090 Is Huge - Barely Fits Standard PC Case
Leaked image shows first sighting of triple slot Nvidia GeForce RTX 3090 Founders Edition barely squeezing into a standard PC case.
gamerant.com
:O
Aeson
I learned nerd for this.
I told this one to my aunt. She said that's a bad joke. I disagreed. I thought it was my best since the MAGA weasel. She didn't like that one either. lol
Similar Threads
