Help me build the worst characters ever conceived for a drunken one-shot adventure

[blargney the second]

The Cross-dresser: he likes to wear full plate. With boobs on it. Oh yeah, he's a sorcerer.

 

[blargney the second]

That Guy: he has a rod of wonder.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

That Guy: he has a rod of wonder.

...AND a Deck of Many Things.








Don't be That Guy.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Whiteraven the Necromancer: He believes he will rule the world because he has the Eye of Vicuña...

 

[jonesy]

A Zombie. Just a bog standard zombie. Able to talk sloooowly.

A bard whose instrument is a grand piano on wheels that he has to wheel around.

Twin sisters who are both sorcerers. But each of them only has half of a sorcerors normal allotment of spells. Together they are one sorceror. To cast spells they have to hold hands.

 

[Halivar]

The Omnipotent Thespian Bard. He's a bard. He's a thespian. And he's also aware that he is in a role-playing game. He enjoys breaking the fourth wall, and making long, dramatic aside monologues in the middle of fights (thus delaying his turn) to the audience. He's also read the Monster Manual, but remembers the entries all wrong.

 

[Wild Gazebo]

-Dwarven Acrobat
-Sullen Farmer
-Elven Composer
-Goblin Poet


Some that I've done and had fun with:

-Dwarven Bard with a pipe organ on a wagon.
-Human artist with no combat skills.
-Necromancer who doesn't like necromancy (family business)
-Sorcerer Farmer who doesn't have any arcane skills and isn't sure how he learned how to cast magic.
-Paladin Pacifist who traded in his holy avenger for two blackjacks.
-Goblin philosopher who recognizes that theoretically the party 'should' engage in combat but doesn't have a firm grasp that it is 'right to' engage in combat.

 

[Matchstick]

I once made it through a Piratecat GenCon game as a butler armed only with a broken wine bottle.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

An Awakened Bonsai Pine tree Paladin...with a Wolf as its summoned mount.

 

[kitsune9]

And I promise to come back and post my crazy stories afterwards.

If you remember them!