dreaded beast, player sounding off here (and I didn't read the whole thread, but saw enough to understand the basic dilemna you've found yourself in). I would prefer it if you kept your rolls private. If you are concerned that we are on to your fudging (and you're right, we are on to you), then what you might wish to do is keep track of our HP yourself behind your screen. When we take damage, you make note of it in a running column...this way, you don't have to ask us how many HP we have because you already know. You do this already with your monsters, I see no reason why you can't do it with players. The good thing here is that you'll know when we're close to being killed and if you then wish to mete out reduced damage, you are free to do so with no one the wiser.
On the subject of death and dying, eh...if we die, we die. It's not your job to keep us alive, not unless you feel there is a compelling reason why we must not die (like the whole plot will go to pieces, which IME is RARELY the case).
And speaking of a "no one the wiser" approach, that's how I prefer my DM to run the show. Keep your stuff private and hidden and try your best not to let on that you have made a mistake, fudged, whatever. It's so much more fun for players when the DM doesn't let on that he is fudging, either for our benefit or not. I would never want to deprive you of the DM's right to fudge!