I went through this exact same decision process for the exact same reasons. I haven't played 3.5, but I can talk about 4ed vs PF:
- PF makes the best published adventures around. The writing is top notch, and the adventure path books are filled to the brim with flavor and awesome art.
- PF character creation is incredibly flexible and powerful. In PF, you can come up with an idea for a character in your head, and then figure out how to realize that character using the system.
- Rules for 4ed are much more logical, streamlined, and modular.
- Pathfinder has faster combat than 4ed. At low levels (1-10), you can expect an average combat to last maybe 20 minutes. 4ed for us was more like 45-60. I've heard that PF can really slow down at higher levels.
With those points being made, I'd like to add a few things. While combat in PF is faster than 4ed, it is still slow compared to most systems. If you're looking for faster combat, you should avoid both systems.
Also, while the PC options in PF are enormous and can be a lot of fun to play with, the number of options out there approaches the absurd. I'd say the same thing about the rules. The rules set for PF is huge. If you're players aren't the kind of people that will buy the books themselves and pour over them, hatching up crazy build ideas and memorizing the rules, than PF is just not a good system for your group. It's a really great game, but ultimately quite turgid, and I'd only recommend it for a more hardcore group.
I GM for a group of casual players. Just regular people who thought it'd be fun to try out some D&D. PF and 4ed both failed with this group unfortunately, and I ended up having to hold everyone's hand through every step, from PC creation, to combat, to leveling up.