RangerWickett
Legend
October 29, 2005
2:45 pm
"Robert-san," Wiji-wiji says, "I gotta you zhi tahki reggo."
Robert accepts the turkey leg, takes a bite, then notices that one of the turkeys sitting next to Wiji-wiji has no legs. It's not bleeding; rather, it's body is fully smooth.
"Good stuff," Robert says, looking off and thinking. "A little dry. Hey, how are you here?"
"I ama touristo."
"No, I mean, how are you here? On 'Gaia'? With a flock of turkeys. No wait, don't answer that last one. I don't really care. But yeah, how'd you get here?"
The Japanese man chews on his own turkey leg, smiling at Robert with narrow eyes.
"We pray gorufu, ne?"
A moment passes when Robert thinks it would be a good idea to kill this man. As fun as he is, he's a little irritating, and this is a bad time for irritation.
"Alright," Robert says. "Where does the course start? Oh, and can the others play too? It's kinda bored, you know, with sitting around here trapped on Gaia that you can apparently just show up in and leave whenever you want and I think some golf would be fun."
"Ah, werry good, Robert-san." Wiji-wiji stands up and pulls a pair of putters from his golf bag. "Of cosu yoru friendso can pray choo. More prayers is werry fun, hai. Totemo tanoshii yo!"
"Hold on a sec," Robert says. "You said golf. Those are putters. We've gotta tee off first."
Wiji-wiji shakes his head. "Oh, no no. We pray putt-putt gorufu. Werry fun."
Robert laughs, hoping to manipulate the strange man. "Wait, you're Japanese. You should know putt-putt isn't golf! I mean, I'll play golf, if you want. And you've got the clubs. But I wouldn't be interested in a kid's game like miniature golf."
Wiji-wiji looks confused, but then he accedes. "Hai, hai. Wakarimasu. Givu me . . . ano . . . ten minutsu. Make a new gorufu coursu."
"Sure thing," Robert says. "Hey, can I get another one of those legs. The other guys are probably hungry too."
With an eager grin, Wiji-wiji bows, then pulls a leg off one of the turkeys. It instantly transforms into a nicely cooked piece of meat, cleared of feathers, and he hands it to Robert. Then, with a short nod, Wiji-wiji heads off slightly uphill toward the area of the RenFest called Sherwood Forest. The turkey flock follows him, gobbling eagerly in what almost sounds like words. The stragglers are a one-legged turkey that hops after the flock, and a no-legged turkey that rolls itself across the ground like a ball.
Robert heads back inside to let the others know they've been invited to a game of golf.
John and Belladonna decide to join in, while Scarpedin stays behind and tries to shape things with his mind, believing he might actually be in The Matrix.
Wiji-wiji has set up perhaps the worst location for a golf game ever. Starting at the far end of the area known as Sherwood forest, and ending with the green right where he had been sitting earlier, it's a Par 5 course with no fairway, and trees throughout. Wiji-wiji proudly displays his putter, assured that it will help him win. Robert actually knows how to play golf, so he chooses the appropriate clubs, and John follows his cue. Belladonna is uncertain what to take so Wiji-wiji suggests one club in particular. It looks very old, and the metal isn't shiny like the rest of the clubs, but Wiji-wiji promises:
"It werry goodo crubbu! Hit werry hardo."
They take turns with their swings, Robert driving it cleanly around the trees, while John and Belladonna keep getting their shots deflected by branches. Wiji-wiji somehow manages to get his ball in a bird's nest, and refuses to take a penalty and remove the ball from the hazard. When Robert gets his shot in, he's at par. John comes in 3 over, Belladonna 5. Wiji-wiji stops after twelve putts, impressed with his opponent's skill.
He collects his clubs, except for the one Belladonna took, and then hands Robert a PDA.
"Congrashurations, Robert-san. I wirru shi you in Sabannah. Good rucku, and shank you for werry good games."
Robert is about to ask Wiji-wiji about what he meant involving Savannah, but just then Scarpedin shouts from the candle store that Debbie found Terry. Robert, Belladonna, and John turn in suprise, and when they look back, the well-dressed Japanese man is gone.
2:45 pm
"Robert-san," Wiji-wiji says, "I gotta you zhi tahki reggo."
Robert accepts the turkey leg, takes a bite, then notices that one of the turkeys sitting next to Wiji-wiji has no legs. It's not bleeding; rather, it's body is fully smooth.
"Good stuff," Robert says, looking off and thinking. "A little dry. Hey, how are you here?"
"I ama touristo."
"No, I mean, how are you here? On 'Gaia'? With a flock of turkeys. No wait, don't answer that last one. I don't really care. But yeah, how'd you get here?"
The Japanese man chews on his own turkey leg, smiling at Robert with narrow eyes.
"We pray gorufu, ne?"
A moment passes when Robert thinks it would be a good idea to kill this man. As fun as he is, he's a little irritating, and this is a bad time for irritation.
"Alright," Robert says. "Where does the course start? Oh, and can the others play too? It's kinda bored, you know, with sitting around here trapped on Gaia that you can apparently just show up in and leave whenever you want and I think some golf would be fun."
"Ah, werry good, Robert-san." Wiji-wiji stands up and pulls a pair of putters from his golf bag. "Of cosu yoru friendso can pray choo. More prayers is werry fun, hai. Totemo tanoshii yo!"
"Hold on a sec," Robert says. "You said golf. Those are putters. We've gotta tee off first."
Wiji-wiji shakes his head. "Oh, no no. We pray putt-putt gorufu. Werry fun."
Robert laughs, hoping to manipulate the strange man. "Wait, you're Japanese. You should know putt-putt isn't golf! I mean, I'll play golf, if you want. And you've got the clubs. But I wouldn't be interested in a kid's game like miniature golf."
Wiji-wiji looks confused, but then he accedes. "Hai, hai. Wakarimasu. Givu me . . . ano . . . ten minutsu. Make a new gorufu coursu."
"Sure thing," Robert says. "Hey, can I get another one of those legs. The other guys are probably hungry too."
With an eager grin, Wiji-wiji bows, then pulls a leg off one of the turkeys. It instantly transforms into a nicely cooked piece of meat, cleared of feathers, and he hands it to Robert. Then, with a short nod, Wiji-wiji heads off slightly uphill toward the area of the RenFest called Sherwood Forest. The turkey flock follows him, gobbling eagerly in what almost sounds like words. The stragglers are a one-legged turkey that hops after the flock, and a no-legged turkey that rolls itself across the ground like a ball.
Robert heads back inside to let the others know they've been invited to a game of golf.
John and Belladonna decide to join in, while Scarpedin stays behind and tries to shape things with his mind, believing he might actually be in The Matrix.
Wiji-wiji has set up perhaps the worst location for a golf game ever. Starting at the far end of the area known as Sherwood forest, and ending with the green right where he had been sitting earlier, it's a Par 5 course with no fairway, and trees throughout. Wiji-wiji proudly displays his putter, assured that it will help him win. Robert actually knows how to play golf, so he chooses the appropriate clubs, and John follows his cue. Belladonna is uncertain what to take so Wiji-wiji suggests one club in particular. It looks very old, and the metal isn't shiny like the rest of the clubs, but Wiji-wiji promises:
"It werry goodo crubbu! Hit werry hardo."
They take turns with their swings, Robert driving it cleanly around the trees, while John and Belladonna keep getting their shots deflected by branches. Wiji-wiji somehow manages to get his ball in a bird's nest, and refuses to take a penalty and remove the ball from the hazard. When Robert gets his shot in, he's at par. John comes in 3 over, Belladonna 5. Wiji-wiji stops after twelve putts, impressed with his opponent's skill.
He collects his clubs, except for the one Belladonna took, and then hands Robert a PDA.
"Congrashurations, Robert-san. I wirru shi you in Sabannah. Good rucku, and shank you for werry good games."
Robert is about to ask Wiji-wiji about what he meant involving Savannah, but just then Scarpedin shouts from the candle store that Debbie found Terry. Robert, Belladonna, and John turn in suprise, and when they look back, the well-dressed Japanese man is gone.