Today marks another milestone in the continuing exploration of Laws, Flaws, Claws, and Tacos (tacos not guaranteed) by Snarf. This is somewhat related to a question from @Scribe about intellectual property. Anyway, of interest today are the Federal Courts of Appeal. These are the appellate courts that make the vast majority of the law in this country that ... you never hear of. They are the Cigarette Smoking Man of the Law, and today, my dear Scully, we will expose them. Some people who are following the nuTSR thread might know that the appeal that we are discussing in that case is with a federal court of appeal- the Second.
There are thirteen federal courts of appeal; eleven numbered, and two that are so awesome and amazing that, well, they just exist without numbers. In order, they are the First though the Eleventh Circuit, the D.C. Circuit, and the Federal Circuit. But what do they do?
For twelve of the Circuits, the function is simple; they have appellate jurisdiction over the federal cases within their jurisdiction. This includes all the numbered Circuits as well as the D.C. Circuit. So, if your case was originally heard in a federal court in Georgia, your appeal would be in front of the 11th Circuit (abbreviated as the 11th Cir.). If it was a federal court in California, then it would be the 9th Circuit. But wait, what if it was a state court? Then shut up.
So why are these circuits so important? Because, dear reader, they handle cases. Day in, day out. These appellate judges live to write opinions, smack down the poor, and give money to the rich like reverse Robin Hoods. But more importantly, they deal in volume. If the Supreme Court is the French Laundry of Justice, the circuit courts are the Mickey D's, slopping out Chicken McJustice meals to all who come. To give you a brief idea- the Supreme Court hears oral argument in roughly 75-80 cases each year, and that number is declining- they decide more through other means, but not in a precedential fashion. On the other hand, the federal appellate courts, in toto, dispose of roughly 40,000-50,000 cases per year. Which means, if you do math, you realize that almost no cases from the federal appellate courts ever get appealed to the Supreme Court.
Again, you might ask- who cares? Volume, shmolume. These piddling appellate courts aren't the Supreme Court! They don't even have the word Supreme in them! But it matters for the following reasons:
- The Supreme Court deals with big, sweeping, generalities. The pronounce rules, like, say, "Rich people can run over poor people without any consequences if their car is a certain color." BOOM! SCOTUS has spoken! Details.... well, details are for the appellate courts to work out. So, if you want to know what color car you need to be in to run over those schoolchildren, you need to look at the appellate law in your jurisdiction.
- Which goes to the next point; each appellate court is the master of its domain. Guess what? If you live in New York, the Supreme Court isn't your master- you're the Second Circuit's lackey... humble servant. Which is to say, unless and until the Supreme Court has an opinion exactly on point, the Second Circuit gets to make the law for you. WHO IS YOUR (legal) GOD NOW?
- Which brings us to the third, and final point. Much like rival news crews in Anchorman, the Circuits like to get it on. Not only do they not have to agree with one another, they often don't. Sometimes, they say they are agreeing with one another, but, really, they aren't. Other times, they just straight up call each other out. This is called a "circuit split," and may get resolved by SCOTUS, but other times, SCOTUS might just let the Circuit Split continue. Until Judge Ho of the Fifth Circuit shows up with a trident. Judge Ho needs to lay low for a while, because while the Supreme Court can't reverse all of his opinions, he may be wanted for murder.
- But what does this all mean? This means that if you take the SCOTUS car rule above, one Circuit (say, the 9th) might say that you can run over kids only if you are driving a red car. Another Circuit (say, the 5th) might say that you can over kids if you are driving any car except a red car. Who is right? Well, if you are in Texas, you can run over those kids in any car except a red car, and if you're in California, you can run over those kids only if you're in a red car. And, to further complicate matter, some circuits really, really hate other circuits' law. You don't mess with Texas, and you don't bring any of that crazy Ninth Circuit law to the Fifth Circuit, or they'll end you with their gavels in your posterior. And vice versa.
The D.C. Circuit handles appeals from Washington, D.C., and is often considered the most "prestigious" appellate court in the nation, after the Supreme Court. In fact, it is the "appellate feeder court" for Supreme Court justices, so much so that a decent indicator that someone is considered to be worthy of the Nazgûl is their prior elevation to the D.C. Circuit. Roberts, Jackson, and Thomas, as well as the departed Scalia and RBG, all served on the D.C. Circuit, and learned the secret handshake. Kagan was nominated for the D.C. Circuit, but never got a vote, and had to settle for being the dean of Harvard Law School. You know this, because during her confirmation hearing for SCOTUS, approximately two hours were taken up by Senators asking Kagan where she was formerly the dean, and Kagan replying, "You know.... some school in Boston."
The other appellate courts have, at most, one SCOTUS judge each (2nd, 3rd, 10th, 9th). So why is the D.C. Circuit so important? Because that's where the government is, and the D.C. Circuit hears almost all the major appeals of administrative decisions by the federal government. Big case involving the EPA? Yep, that's a D.C. Circuit case. Due to the overwhelming importance of this tribunal, and because it is seen as a stepping stone for SCOTUS, politicians on both sides treat it respectfully ... and if you believe that, I have a bridge in Brooklyn waiting for you.
The Federal Circuit, on the other hand, is the most curious court. They hear appeals based on subject matter jurisdiction, with a lot of boring cases (such as government contracts) as well as (wait for it Scribe) patents. As patents are a completely uncontroversial subject on which every reasonable person agrees that the Federal Circuit is doing a bang-up job, I will leave that subject, along with IP in general, for another day.
