Ao the Overkitty
First Post
ASH said:
Well.. it makes it even more funny if you know just how much of a pessimist I am. I prefer the term realist, but everyone around here tells me that's the same thing.
[Hivemind]- Mary had a little lamb...
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Well.. it makes it even more funny if you know just how much of a pessimist I am. I prefer the term realist, but everyone around here tells me that's the same thing.
the Jester
Legend
Crothian said:
Not for real gamers.
Ashwyn
First Post
I just feel stuck. In many ways, I am. No job, can't do school. can't write much. I don't know what the problem is with my brain, but it just doesn't work as well as it used to. I don't know what to do about it, noone seems to be able to help me. I'm afraid of not being able to accomplish anything. I have lots of goals, and I know exactly what I want to do, but I can't do it. I'm afrain of going through life like this and being at the same place in ten years, and then twenty, and so on, until I end up dying alone with nothing to show for my life. I'm not going to give up, but it just looks so hopeless right now, and I don't know what I can do about it. What really worries me is that for as long as I can remember, I've never wanted to be anyone else. With all my problems, I've never had a problem being me. but lately, I've been getting so tired of being me, I'm reaching the end of my rope. But I'll keep talking to people and I'll probably find someone who can help me eventually.randomling said:
I'm glad it's getting taken care of so you don't have to suffer for long. Though I'm sure it feels like a long time. *hugs* to you too.randomling said:
randomling
First Post
Jason, I know exactly how you feel. I go through "I'm tired of being me" phases about twice a week.Ashwyn said:
I understand that doing nothing with your life is frustrating. But listen - I remember you were diagnosed with diabetes recently, and I think that's a positive step because it's one more thing that's in identifiable form. I have the hardest time when my problems are formless and indefinable, because if you can't define something, how can you do anything about it?
What's helped me recently - in the last couple of weeks - is setting myself small goals and working towards setting myself up into a routine. It's making me feel better about myself and my life because, slowly, things are becoming compartmentalized. I can start to see which are the difficult areas and figure out how to solve that.
Jason, if you ever need somebody to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or whatever else, email me: lucy dot mclaughlin at gmail dot com. I'm always happy to listen.
*big hugs*
the Jester
Legend
Morning, Hivers!
Well, I finally got to the shattering conclusion of the Gruesome Wedding in my Great Conflicts story hour (link in sig, look up the thread to my first post on the page). Yikes, that game was unruly.
Well, I finally got to the shattering conclusion of the Gruesome Wedding in my Great Conflicts story hour (link in sig, look up the thread to my first post on the page). Yikes, that game was unruly.
Ashwyn
First Post
That's how I feel too. Getting diagnosed with Diabetes helped explain a few things, but there are still other things that I have no idea of what could be the cause. I have trouble with my memory and concentration and i think that's ADD, and I am working on getting that diagnosed and treated if that's the case.randomling said:Jason, I know exactly how you feel. I go through "I'm tired of being me" phases about twice a week.
I understand that doing nothing with your life is frustrating. But listen - I remember you were diagnosed with diabetes recently, and I think that's a positive step because it's one more thing that's in identifiable form. I have the hardest time when my problems are formless and indefinable, because if you can't define something, how can you do anything about it?
But there's something else that's really bizarre and a little scary. When I get inspired to go write something, I feel excited about it, like I always have, but then that feeling is replaced by what I can only call the opposite, complete and total desirelessness. I have never heard of anyone else having something like this happen, so I'm not hopeful of it being fixed. It's happening more frequently every day, and it really hurts my ability to get anything done. It just plain hurts, actually.
Another part of it is my brain breaking things down to their basic level, and removing the enjoyment from them. For example, movies and video games get broken down into a formula in my head, and the only enjoyment I get is from new ones, but I quickly grow bored of them. I can't replay any of my games, even if there is a very different experience in doing so. I just become completely bored with the things that are the same. Maybe I'm just in a rut and it's manifesting itself that way, I don't know. But if it keeps going like this, I'm going to end up with no enjoyment in life at all.
I gave up on my D&D campaign setting because it just all devolved in my head into mix x with y, rinse, and repeat. I realized it's the rules tripping me up, so I'm going to get back into it with just the creative aspect, and deal with the rules later. Rules really shut my brain down. With my script writing for my show, I am able to not worry about rules, I just write it the way I want and do what I find funny. I'm not sure why I let the rules bog me down when it comes to D&D. I need to just create, that's what I'm good at. If need be, I can ask someone for help with the rules part. I just feel like I have to do everything, which is a completely different problem.
I don't know why this is, but music seems to "fix" my brain, especially if I am wearing headphones. When I have headphones on, and am listening to something upbeat I am able to think clearly. I am very easily manipulated by music. Whatever emotion is conveyed in the music I feel really strongly. I have to avoid sad songs as much as possible, unless I really need a good cry to clear out my system. The more I think about it the more I realize my brain is not a normal brain. I think of that as both bad and good. I'm able to see things that other people can't, in words and puzzles and things like that. Comedy especially. I'm grateful for that, but it's useless unless I can get something done.
Sorry for the brainspam.
That sounds like a good idea.randomling said:
Thank you very much. Though after this long post, you might want to take that back.randomling said:
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