[hivemind] My kingdom for a Pie!
- Thread starter Maldur
- Start date
Steve Jung
Explorer
Hi Grim,
How are you?
How are you?
Skade
Explorer
An old woman was feeling lonely and decided that she needed a pet. Once at the pet store she found that she was allergic to cats, could not stand dogs, found lizards repulsive, and could not quite fathom buying birds. She might have gone home alone except for a beautifully plumed parrot who was being sold for half off. Walking to the counter the old woman asks, "is there something wrong with that parrot? Why is he on sale? Does he not speak?" The clerk explained that the bird was the most expressive, and intelligent bird he had ever seen, but that he was very particular about his diet. The woman, understanding such things decided to buy the bird, without a second thought. All the drive home the bird sat in the backseat, perched in its cage whistling along to the radio, which the woman found enchanting. She promtly set to preparing a place in her home for her new friend, laying out an assortment of seed and fruit for the parrot. Though he watched her intently, the bird said nothing to any promting, which left the woman feeling a little let down. That night she turned on her television, to watch American Idol when the bird said his first words
"I can't believe you're watching this
! What find of bird do you think I am? This is some stupid "
Needless to say, the woman was shocked. She quickly changed the channel, only to have the bird continue his tirade against televisin. She promplty shut it off, and began to lecture the bird who began to verbally assault her in ways I shall not mention here.
This went on for one week. The old lady pleaded, and threatened, and appeased, and yet the cursing, and insults would not stop. Finally, she had enough.
Taking the bird firmly in hand she began marching through the house. The bird laughed at her, and asked "what you gonna do, cut me? Clip my wings? You can't take it you old ---" At which point she threw the bird into the freezer and closed the door. The bird wailed, and screeched, and cursed in ways she had never imagined before. This went on for several minutes until there was silence. For a few minutes she watched the freezer door, relieved at the silence, but her soft heart got to her and she opened the door.
The parrot stood there, shock still and silent.
She asked him " are you going to be have now"
The bird replied, "I must apologize most humbly for any pain I may have caused in action or deed. I shall henceforth endeavor to provide appropriate commentary, and humorous verbal exchanges to better suit your temperment" After a moment the bird added, "Ma'am, if I may ask. What is it that the chicken did?"
"I can't believe you're watching this
! What find of bird do you think I am? This is some stupid "Needless to say, the woman was shocked. She quickly changed the channel, only to have the bird continue his tirade against televisin. She promplty shut it off, and began to lecture the bird who began to verbally assault her in ways I shall not mention here.
This went on for one week. The old lady pleaded, and threatened, and appeased, and yet the cursing, and insults would not stop. Finally, she had enough.
Taking the bird firmly in hand she began marching through the house. The bird laughed at her, and asked "what you gonna do, cut me? Clip my
wings? You can't take it you old ---" At which point she threw the bird into the freezer and closed the door. The bird wailed, and screeched, and cursed in ways she had never imagined before. This went on for several minutes until there was silence. For a few minutes she watched the freezer door, relieved at the silence, but her soft heart got to her and she opened the door. The parrot stood there, shock still and silent.
She asked him " are you going to be have now"
The bird replied, "I must apologize most humbly for any pain I may have caused in action or deed. I shall henceforth endeavor to provide appropriate commentary, and humorous verbal exchanges to better suit your temperment" After a moment the bird added, "Ma'am, if I may ask. What is it that the chicken did?"
Trevalon Moonleirion
Explorer
lol. that's pretty damn good
Skade
Explorer
Oh, I still have the laptop, and a smaller TV. I'm not totally leaving society behind! Actually, as much as he may have annoyed me, this is a better place to do all my web surfing, as I have broadband here. So, I will probably come here every couple of days or so. I'll just have to get used to doing my jo search on a dialup.
Besides, I MUST see Angel, and the only place I can do that is here. Maybe my other grandparents house. I gotta check on that. I have two pairs of grandparents in this town.
Actually, as much as he may have annoyed me, this is a better place to do all my web surfing, as I have broadband here. So, I will probably come here every couple of days or so. I'll just have to get used to doing my jo search on a dialup. Besides, I MUST see Angel, and the only place I can do that is here. Maybe my other grandparents house. I gotta check on that. I have two pairs of grandparents in this town.
Maldur
First Post
Skade said:Oh, I still have the laptop, and a smaller TV. I'm not totally leaving society behind!
Besides, I MUST see Angel, and the only place I can do that is here. Maybe my other grandparents house. I gotta check on that. I have two pairs of grandparents in this town.
Well you cant miss angel!!
( says the man who has never seen an episode of Angel, nor many buffy episodes (I think about 3))
