Yeah its sucked for the stark women, but its been no damn picnic for some of their men either.
I don't think the
what is the only way to look at it. The
how is important, too.
When the Mountain killed the Viper in a duel, it was shocking and violent, but it was also extremely brief. Unless viewers rewound and did a freeze frame, we have more of an impression of what went down than details. (Although when Joffrey is killed, we get a nice clear close-up of what his face looked like caved in, reinforcing how bad it is to be LGBT in a GRRM world.)
When Aemma is going through difficult childbirth and then the deadly c-section, we linger on it. There are close-ups. We hear her agony. We watch everyone's face during. I suspect the entire scene was many times longer than the Mountain/Viper duel.
Yes, a lot of guys die in these stories. But with the exception of Theon, it's typically shocking and short. With women, the violence is typically on camera and dominates a scene, like the rape of Sansa.