How do I encourage roleplaying without being a jerk?

[Tsyr]

I'm with Berandor... I'd kill for a group as good as the one you describe. It sounds idea, for me.

 

[Pielorinho]

This is definitely one of those "no right answer" questions.

Personally, I really like to focus on the game during gaming sessions. Awhile ago, I was getting frustrated with the amount of out-of-game chatter during sessions, so after a game, I talked with the players about it.

A lot of them told me that they enjoyed cracking jokes, and that it kept my game (which often has a strong horror element to it) from being too much of a downer. So we came up with a compromise:

My players still crack jokes. But they try to do it in-character. Or at least somewhat in character.

Which means that there's a lot of dumb conversations that happen:

"I need some gorgon's blood. Tahsin, you're from this city. Do you know where I can get some?"
"Oh, sure. There's a store just down the street, All Things Gorgon. Let's go there."
"Cool! Do they sell gorgonzola?"

But since it stays in-character, it doesn't bug me. As importantly, when there's a really terrible scene, since they know that their jokes will be considered in-character, people play more seriously.

I'd suggest talking to your group and working together to come up with a compromise. Handling side conversations in a separate room might work really well. I don't like that solution when I play in games -- I'm too focused on the game, and get bored if the game pauses too long. But it sounds like it might work for your group.

Daniel

 

[Numion]

My group is quite casual, and it's OK since we're good friends outside the game too, and don't have too many opportunities to meet. So, as a DM, I tend to partake in the off-topic chatting at times.

Of course if there is an intense situation in the game, I won't tolerate disruptions. Also the players have at least learned not to pass metagame info onto other players. (Like telling them the best course of action, if the said player doesn't realize it. (and the characters have no means of communication)).

Most of the OT chat revolves around the amount of criticals they score, to come to think about it. And dice in general.

 

[photon1966]

Well the best advice I have seen is the one about doing and showing the others. I really enjoy the role playing, I use voices and minor props, even when I play certain characters I only use certain dice. Just something for me to identify with and for others to identify with.

I had a player Eric the Paladin, just kill the evil Goblin Queen, Toss her head into the Goblin crowds and try to convince them that the conflict was over. He tried roleplaying it, was a little unsure, but he tried and I awarded him exp bonus for that. Though his brother sniggered the other players and I didn't not, which I feel helped him, as he later said in other games he would have Paraphrased and just rolled the dice, which I stil l had him do I just added to the roll as well for his willingness to role play his speech to the goblins.

I try to get the players involved, yes some people chat, go for smoke break or snacks things keep on going. I only really stop when I take a break, and even then they will tend to chat about what ever pickle they are in while I am gone.

I do not Force people to role play but try to create a place where people feel comfortable to role play. Where I may be a tad over the top sometimes, I try also to reward role playing. Even bad roleplaying I try to encourgae by suggesting and giving honest comment on, not abuse or jokes.

Now I know I am lucky as my Saturday group with Eric the Paladin, William the Mage, Marribrarri the Elven Druid, and Arda the Ranger. They show up on time, stay long hours, participate and generally pay attention with little coment from the peanut gallery. Sunday isn't as good as we more socialize, and Tuesaday is still new so I don't know. But in all of them I try to lead by example, and not make fun of people honestly trying.

 

[Pielorinho]

One other thing I should mention: I've recently softened my stance on forbidding tactical discussion during battle. For most PCs I won't allow it, but I have one player who's story-smart and tactics-stupid.

She sends me fantastic lists full of NPCs her character knows, fleshed out with cool little details and bristling with plot-hooks. She comes up with better backgrounds than anyone else. She does a lot of my work for me as a DM, for which I'm really grateful.

And yet, in battle, she ignores obvious opportunities for her rogue PC to flank. She spends five of the six rounds of battle switching weapons, activating weapons, drinking buffing potions, and the like. When attacked by a bunch of tricked out psychic warriors, her bard fires a crossbow over and over, instead of using the potentially lethal dispel magic she has.

Tactics just aren't what interests her about the game. Rather than letting the other players get frustrated, I'm letting them give her advice in the middle of a round.

As long as they're not obnoxious about it, it makes everyone happy: she gets to play a more effective character, the PCs are likelier to win their battles, and we all get her invaluable contributions to the game sessions.

I think the guidelines about out-of-character discussion have to be tailored to each group.

Daniel

 

[Flexor the Mighty!]

My group does a lot of bullting. I only ask them to speak in character when they are addressing a NPC. Between players they speak normal. We have fun.

 

[Harlock]

I'm of the school of thought that D&D is a social game and social interaction is bound to take place. Now for LARP or something similar or in a really serious group I know this isn't as tolerable, but to me D&D is about fun and it's a bunch of people coming together once a week so there is bound to be a little catch up. I tolerate it and even participate in it sometimes as DM. YMMV. I started playing D&D at age 8 so being out of character for a bit or even off topic is nothing new to me. Yes, I can be serious and yes, I have been in games where you could only speak in character. And, No sir, I don't like it. If it's fun for you, by all means, go for it. Just make sure it's what your players want. If not, get new players.

 

[Skarp Hedin]

I gotta agree with Berandor as well. I have trouble getting some of my players to pay attention when I'm directly addressing them. One guy's wife keeps insisting that she wants to play, but the only thing she does when she -does- play (which she only does when we game at their place) is roll the dice when her husband indicates that she should. So yeah, your group sounds pretty dang good in general.

 

[Valicor]

When I DM I try to create a mood. I have a vision in my head of the character's surrounding environment and the NPCs they are interacting with, and I'm trying my best to convey what I've imagined to my players.

Thats your first mistake, To encourage RP you can't go with how you think the players imagine things, but how they actually do. You can accomplish this by getting feed back form them, on how and where they seem themselves and there characters going in your game.

My players, for the most part, listen when I describe things, ask relevant questions to better comprehend the scene, and wait patiently while I fuddle through my notes.

Try to be more spontaneous. If you know what the path the players desire, and work with that your idea's wil flow much easier and smoother.

When I am interacting with them through NPCs they stay in character, however, some of my players have a habit of squeezing in metagame or off-topic comments if I am not specifically talking to their characters. For instance, sometimes when I'm roleplaying with characters A & B, the players of characters C & D will quietly talk to each other about a rule or a spell, or tell a joke, or discuss their next combat maneuver (even though their characters technically can't be having such a conversation), or even discuss something wildly OT (baseball comes up a lot). Oftentimes, when I am done talking to part of the group and ready to address the group as a whole, I have to wait for some players to stop talking before I can continue. Sometimes they are so engrossed in their whispered conversations that I have stood there for up to a minute before they realized I was waiting on them to shut up so we could continue the game. Over the course of a session this grates on my nerves.

Theres nothing wrong with disscussing stratedgy. If it is the other player responds to the plan with out revealign it in game, Doc them with meta-game experience. Your comment abotu them takign awhile to get to payign attention. I had this problem stil have this problem, the best advice on that I can give you is be calm and pacient. It can help to put a time limmit on player turns, so everyone will know when they are up. Also just try and speak alittle louder or give them a scare by saying they are being atatcked. When they turn and ask what you have there attention and can resume.

Now, the general player mentality among my friends is if their character is not in the scene, then they don't have to pay attention to the game, because they're not supposed to know what's going on anyway. My general goal, as DM, is to make the session interesting enough that everyone wants to pay attention just so they can find out what happens next, even if their character is missing, unconcious, or otherwise occupied.

There is nothing wrong with wanting everyoen to enjoy the game. How long have you been DM'ing? and How long have they been players? Cause as you play for longer times eventually everyone will settle down alittle. You have a good goal and intention here.

Is it unrealistic to expect everyone to pay attention all the time? Is it unrealistic to demand that players do not speak unless it's in character or are asking the DM a question? Our monthly sessions can last as long as eight hours with occassional breaks for food or leg-stretching. How do I encourage people to stay in character? Should I bother? Do you?

it is not unreasonable to excpet players to pay attention to the world around them, but 100% all of the time is immpossible. Humans are easily distracted and need change to stimulate intrest. The less dictating you are on the atmosphere the more relaxed yoru players wil be. Thsi should stimulate mroe intrest. Askign them not to speak is allittle harsh. Maybe just ask them not to distract the players you are working with at the time and be alittle lower. I agree it is a problem when the secondary conversation is louder then the DM.

Originally posted by ForceUser
Among my friends, it is tough to enforce staying in character. Players can end up resenting a particularly demanding DM who constantly tells players to stop talking unless it's in character (then again, the DM resents having to constantly enforce that players stay in character). Not to mention, we have a large group of knowledgable people familiar with the rules, and when there's a rules question everyone's first instinct is to debate it, and pull out rulebooks, and come to a consensus, nevermind that the DM might just want to arbitrate it off the cuff and find out the actual rule later.

Okay it is alittle harsh and unfair if the players undermine every GM descision. I have had this occur enough times. If it is a major issue that would for the most part be unfair and potentialy leathal it should be discussed then and there, otherwise your players should save it for after the game.

Originally posted by ForceUser
I'm as guilty as the rest. I am both a player and a DM among my friends, and the things I've described above happen across all three of our campaigns. As a player I try to stay in character at all times, but I often find myself frustrated with the other players (especially the ones who aren't DMs), and consequently find myself telling people to shush so the DM can talk, or telling people to talk about the ballgame later, or telling people to let the DM make a decision so we can get on with things. In short, I'm just as bad as everyone else, despite my good intentions.

I think you should just go with the flow of the game, and try to enjoy the company of yoru fellow GM's and Players. Or you could find a new group.