How do you ease girlfriend into gaming?
- Thread starter Felix
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krissbeth
First Post
Crothian said:
Boyfriend comes over. I'm in a mad rush to finish my new character. New character is the most high maintenance of all classes -- Druid. I bascially exhaust myself writing out spell cards and he was helping me by looking up feats in my splatbook collection. We ended up being too tired to do anything but SLEEP a whole lot. (But boy do I have an awesome druid now!)
lukelightning
First Post
Withold sex from her until she breaks down and plays a 7th level elvish rogue. 
Herobizkit
Adventurer
Queen_Dopplepopolis, you are 100% correct. In fact, I would move that the admins put your response as a sticky for future reference.
I kept this so simple, it was priceless. One day, she's out tilling the field when she spies a trio of goblins breaking into the feed shed to steal some corn. (Props to d02 Know No Limit for the adventure idea.) She snaps up a scythe from the barn and chases them down, hacking two of them to tiny pieces. One gets away. Enter my DM/NPC Ranger who offers to help her track it down (Story was he was a "family friend" who brought the farmer's goods to/from town and brought fresh game when he had the chance). They follow it back to its lair and learn that the Goblins were hoarding all sorts of things from other nearby farms for their Hobgoblin master, which was vanquished. Her plans after that involved taking some of the unclaimed loot to the "big city" to sell. The gaming ended there, but it was a great launch point.
I don't have much else to comment on the rest, but it's all excellent advice.
My last SO was completely NOT into any kind of fantasy stuff when I first started dating her, but she did have an active imagination. I walked her through character creation and as she crunched numbers, I would ask her questions. "What's her name? What colour is her hair? What does she like to do? Where does she live? Does she have any relatives? What are they like?" As she answered these questions, I suggested classes and skills and where stats would go to best represent this, plus I'd take notes and use her ideas in the game.Queen_Dopplepopolis said:
This was classic. She was a simple farmhand who worked with her lame (ie. with a bad leg) dad and grandmother on a farm. She got really strong doing more than her share for her father (and thus took the Fighter persona) and her father taught her a bit about swordplay so she could defend herself in case she was ever in a bad situation.
I kept this so simple, it was priceless. One day, she's out tilling the field when she spies a trio of goblins breaking into the feed shed to steal some corn. (Props to d02 Know No Limit for the adventure idea.) She snaps up a scythe from the barn and chases them down, hacking two of them to tiny pieces. One gets away. Enter my DM/NPC Ranger who offers to help her track it down (Story was he was a "family friend" who brought the farmer's goods to/from town and brought fresh game when he had the chance). They follow it back to its lair and learn that the Goblins were hoarding all sorts of things from other nearby farms for their Hobgoblin master, which was vanquished. Her plans after that involved taking some of the unclaimed loot to the "big city" to sell. The gaming ended there, but it was a great launch point.
I don't have much else to comment on the rest, but it's all excellent advice.
When I was in the Army I actually had a small group and three of us were married, One night at a cookout the wives were complaining about "game night" and I suggested we make a Girls only game. Oddly enough it went really well, we met the next night and went over character creations and I had three wives who got a few hours away from babies and RL.
Later I tried to get teh two groups to meet in the Campaign, but that didn't go over as well. In the end the lesson was make sure the group is having fun, and don't force the players to do somethign they don't want. The females left the group shortly after the two games joined, and went back to being nagging wives. My wife hasn't played since, but my kids and I play together.
Later I tried to get teh two groups to meet in the Campaign, but that didn't go over as well. In the end the lesson was make sure the group is having fun, and don't force the players to do somethign they don't want. The females left the group shortly after the two games joined, and went back to being nagging wives. My wife hasn't played since, but my kids and I play together.
Emirikol
Adventurer
My gut reaction screaming in my head is: DON'T DO IT! SAVE YOURSELF!!! DON'T LOSE YOUR FRIENDS!!! DON'T WRECK THE HOBBY FOR YOUR S.O." I'm not being cynical because I come to you from the future with experience..
..but then I know one or two people (ok, maybe one) who've actually not had their favorite hobby wrecked by not properly integrating their S.O. (for all involved, including gaming friends). That means this is a great question.
That said, I'd recommend that you go to a LIVING GREYHAWK or convention event rather than place pressure on yourself or possibly ruin someone elses home game. Play it with her. Play a lower level game. Have a good time at a safe event. Sometimes it's better too if you just send her with a friend, rather than doing it yourself. You maybe havent' learned yet, but S.O.'s dont like being told what to do by their S.O's and that includes being told how to play a game.
If you've ever read threads regarding someone's S.O. (male or female) wrecking a game and there ending up being hard feelings, IT'S NO JOKE and it happens frequently when a couple begins to fight at the table or brings their baggage to the game.
S.O's make the best gamers if they learn the hobby in SOMEONE ELSES environment. They learn the social norms (like don't fight with your S.O. at the gaming table and drag your pathetic argments to wreck the fun of your friends). They also learn to like it ON THEIR OWN TERMS, which means don't be pushy. Let them get a "feel" for the game rather than trying to turn them into some autistic-rules-facist
jh
..but then I know one or two people (ok, maybe one) who've actually not had their favorite hobby wrecked by not properly integrating their S.O. (for all involved, including gaming friends). That means this is a great question.
That said, I'd recommend that you go to a LIVING GREYHAWK or convention event rather than place pressure on yourself or possibly ruin someone elses home game. Play it with her. Play a lower level game. Have a good time at a safe event. Sometimes it's better too if you just send her with a friend, rather than doing it yourself. You maybe havent' learned yet, but S.O.'s dont like being told what to do by their S.O's and that includes being told how to play a game.
If you've ever read threads regarding someone's S.O. (male or female) wrecking a game and there ending up being hard feelings, IT'S NO JOKE and it happens frequently when a couple begins to fight at the table or brings their baggage to the game.
S.O's make the best gamers if they learn the hobby in SOMEONE ELSES environment. They learn the social norms (like don't fight with your S.O. at the gaming table and drag your pathetic argments to wreck the fun of your friends). They also learn to like it ON THEIR OWN TERMS, which means don't be pushy. Let them get a "feel" for the game rather than trying to turn them into some autistic-rules-facist
jh
Last edited:
Nareau
Explorer
My wife is absolutely NOT a gamer, and I doubt she ever will be. That said, I convinced her to play in a Dread one-shot a couple weeks ago, and she had a blast. No rulebooks, no dice, no numbers. Just some campy horror fun.
My advice? Helping her enjoy the hobby is a lot like helping anybody new enjoy it. Figure out what kind of things she might enjoy, and focus on those.
Nareau
My advice? Helping her enjoy the hobby is a lot like helping anybody new enjoy it. Figure out what kind of things she might enjoy, and focus on those.
Nareau
blargney the second
blargney the minute's son
I've got to tell you, I think the final selling point for my GF was asking her about what her character was wearing.
-blarg
ps - If she asks if her character can buy Boots of Charisma, for gods' sake say yes!
-blarg
ps - If she asks if her character can buy Boots of Charisma, for gods' sake say yes!
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