How Do You Explain D&D To Non-Gamers?

[Olaf the Stout]

I have to admit that I'm a bit of a closet gamer. My family and my wife's immediate families know that I play RPG's, as do my close friends. All of my work collegues, sports team-mates and most of my casual friends and extended family do not.

When the topic of my gaming does come up I have a hard time explaining what exactly it is without sounding too strange. "So you sit around a table with grown men and all pretend that you can cast magical spells at each other?"

How do you explain D&D (or roleplaying in general) to people who have little to no idea what it is?

I remember talking to my father-in-law about it. I play in a game once a fortnight and he was a little confused as to how there was no end or winner and that the "one" game could go on for more than just one night. He wasn't rude about it, he just didn't get it and I had quite a difficult time trying to explain it to him (probably due to the fact that I was a little embarrassed about the conversation, being a closet gamer and all).

So far my explanation of roleplaying to others is that is like a movie where the players write the story as they go and that a lot of the games are set in fantasy worlds like the Lord of the Rings was. This seems to make people think that it is some sort of improvisational theatre!

I'm not looking for a way to go out and tell the world that "I'm a gamer, and I'm proud of it!" I don't think I'm quite at that stage yet. I just wanted to know how other people handle it.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Eltharon]

Well, it is sort of like improv theatre. At least the way we play. I'd describe it as a cooperative storytelling game. With dice. And rules. But rules are a last resort thing.

 

[johnnype]

I don't tell people I'm a gamer. Period.

Yes, I'm a closet gamer, and yes, my wife knows and so do my close friends but that's about it. I'm a finacial planner by trade and it just wouldn't sit well with my collegues, let alone my clients, to know that I spent my free time reading RPG books. Say what you will about being true to yourself but there are a lot, and I mean A LOT, of people out there who will immediately see you for less than you are worth if they find out you like RPG's. The rebel out there may not care but I do. It has a direct impact on my carreer and thereby my pocket book. I make a good living. A very good living. But it's no thanks to RPG's. That I guarantee you.

Yes, I'm a closet gamer and I know I will continue to be that way for a long time. I should add, however, that I don't really see myself as JUST a gamer. My interests are far and wide and I don't like to be stereotyped by those who are ignorant about the hobby.

Just my two cents.

 

[Harmon]

Closet gamer here <hand raised>.

When I have to explain usually I start with explaining that gaming is about taking imaginary people, people you put on paper so your fellow gamers can understand them, you create a personality, a person called “a GM- that means Game Master, they are kind of the controller of the game giving challenges and making up people that we aren’t playing,” then you have other people playing other characters just like I play. Situations arise and challenges met, evil kilt and stuff collected.

After which I will explain that “its an introverts hobby, not many extroverts play.”

Once in a while a dumas will ask “you worship Satan then,” or some other stupid myth about gaming to which I usually reply- “Satan is a push over, we killed him long ago and took his stuff.”

There is a lot more that usually gets explained and said, but that depends on whom I am talking to and how interested they are in it.

BTW- my Mom asked when my brother got me into gaming the same question about winning. To this day she will come over to my house on game day and ask the group- “who’s winning?” The joke is so old that no one even smiles anymore.

 

[Quickleaf]

I remember talking to my father-in-law about it. I play in a game once a fortnight and he was a little confused as to how there was no end or winner and that the "one" game could go on for more than just one night. He wasn't rude about it, he just didn't get it and I had quite a difficult time trying to explain it to him (probably due to the fact that I was a little embarrassed about the conversation, being a closet gamer and all).

Oh yeah, I've been there. Here's how I've described it to casual sporty friends...
"Imagine a World Cup where there was no elimination and everyone got points for creating the most fun for their team. So you win as a team by contributing to your friends' fun."

Usually that either turns them off or turns them on.

If they seem interested (or I'm interested in having them play in a game), then I pull out the big guns: "When you watch a movie you're passively entertained, right? You don't have to do much, don't even have to visualize the pictures like in a book. Well, a role-playing game is active entertainment - you make your fun as you make the story. There is no script. Imagine a good chess match, improv acting workshop, and karaoke contest rolled into one, except the only competition is who can be more entertaining."

 

[Shemeska]

I've usually described it as 'cooperative storytelling with dice', but unless the other person asks more, I usually just leave it at that. It came up over lunch at work one time, and one of the other biologists there was a gamer back in college so I didn't have to explain a lot to the other folks at the table. Of course I won't advertise the hobby at random, simply to avoid any potential bad reactions.

And then there's my family... *chuckle* My sister calls it "geeky" but understands what it's all about. My mother on the other hand wonders if it's "that satanic game", or if its "something that you shouldn't be doing" or "are you still doing that gaming thing?". I've given up on her, probably because I've explained it, in depth, to her about a dozen times but it never seems to take hold.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

My sister and wife mock me about playing D&D. I've gotten past my closet gamer-ness with both of them. My sister's mocking about D&D can get to me sometimes (one of the few things that will).

My wife on the other hand. I just mock her back, saying "Ha, ha, you married a nerd!"

The older I get the more I have accepted and embraced my geeky side. I still love playing lacrosse and watching Australian Rules football so I'm not a stereotypical geek or nerd by any stretch but it's definitely a big part of me.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Greylock]

I tell folks I'm drinking, playing poker and singing lewd tunes.

It goes over better.

 

[caudor]

I'll tell them it is like the old table-top war games, but it has evolved into game that delves into the details of each warrior's (or wizard's) personality and skills in play. Thus there is story telling and dice.

That usually leaves them puzzled, but they usually don't ask anymore questions.

 

[Asmor]

The most common way I explain it, when I'm actually trying to get them to somewhat grasp the concept (as opposed to not particularly caring and just saying whatever I think will satisfy them), I tend to explain it as the Cops & Robbers we all played as kids, but there are rules so that there's no more "Bang! Gotcha!" "No you didn't!" "Uh huh!" "Nuh uh!"