How do you leave a gaming group?

[AeroDm]

Also consider how you got into the group. If a friend brought you in and, assuming s/he isn't one of the people aggravating you, you'll want to remember that you reflec on him/her.

Definitely take the high road. If you tell the group off you pit yourself against everyone and set them as a group against you. Later that will set their individual resolves should you ever want to game with them again.

 

[Shallown]

I have left groups before an did not burn any bridges. I played the session knowing I was going to leave but just a sort of last..last chance but still decided to go. I was polite and honest and then left. I mean I liked the people I played with just not the GM's style. I mean it wasn't a bad style just not compatible with mine. I told him this in pretty much that way. I kept in touched with them for a while but we drifted apart without gaming which is where we had met and socialized. I would have run a game but the GM only wanted to Gm and disliked playing so I had no choice.

Like many people will say it is a game. It is suppose to be a recreation but it is also where you invest time and without the return its just not worth it sometimes.

later

 

[GoldenEagle]

I agree with the folks who say honesty and highroad are the right way. You may want to prepare beforehand for what exactly to say because these types of conversations sometimes become emotional. Also, doing so one on one with the DM may be better as you are less likely to become defensive if there are only two people involved in the conversation.

On a positive note, I called my DM in one of my games (whom I liked,BTW) and told him I was thinking of leaving and why and we solved the issues and I still play in that group. Now I am sensitive to not only the things I don't like, but I let him know (by email usually) about all the things I do like about the game. typically there are 5 times the number of things I like, so it makes it easy and reminds me to be appreciative of all the work he puts into the games.

Just my two cents.

GE

 

[fba827]

"It's not you, it's me ..."

 

[Telperion]

I've had it with my current gaming group and have nearly decided to call it quits. Not the game per se, but just playing with my current group.

Thing is, although they irritate me to no end and I would sorely love letting a few people have it verbally, I also don't want to burn any bridges.

Should I let them or the DM know I plan to quit before next session starts, that night before the session, or after the session is over for the night?

Should I be honest and tell them straight what my problems are and why I am leaving (this may lead to burning some bridges) or should I just bow out gracefully and just have a "no comment" type of response?

*sarcastic message*

Do it like this:

Spit on the GM for being incapable of NPC - PC interaction, storytelling, note-making and just about everything that has anything to do with RPG. Then go on a rant about how things could be better and how you will happily come back when there's been a change.

Kick the whole playing group out and tell them to find another place to play, because you aren't interested anymore.

Rant and rave against the group on some messageboard that your Ex-friends are sure to read.

Steal the best players out of that group you just left, and put up a game of your own. One that is infinitely better in every way, and then explain it to the players in detail.

And lastly: put up a shrine in momery of your old Gaming Group, so you can be with them in spirit from now 'til forever.

*end of sarcastic message*

In reality? There's no "cool" or "good" way. It's the same deal as telling someone that you, as the GM, have decided it's time they quit playing with the group.

O' and there's just one particular type of players that I love in these situations: the guys who at first sit in shocked silence and then start screaming about how you are destroying a group that he, and everyone else except you, have been nurturing and building into a good gaming group since Day One. And now it's all ruined because you are braking Us up.

 

[clark411]

I'd recommend just saying you either aren't able to play with them for some nebulous reason or say that you don't feel your playstyle matches the group. Don't make a big deal about it, don't allow yourself to be dragged into an exposition that will cause players to become defensive and argue with you while you're walking out the door. Being on the way out, your decision made, unless you wish to give them the opportunity to either a) disprove your thoughts as you go or b) disprove your thoughts/make amends so that you will stay, I'd keep it as brief as possible. Blaming oneself is hardly the best option, but I highly doubt your average gamer welcomes the drama or the commentary on what you don't like about them... and unless your goal is to offer them exactly that, I'd skip it if possible.


If you don't, you'll still be the guy leaving, and you'll be leaving them to come to the conclusion that, regardless of how rational you were in your opinions, you ultimately abandoned the group without either offering them the opportunity to alter their styles or that you got your final jabs in, many of which that are quite inaccurate in hindsight for X, Y, and Z reasons discussed repeatedly over the next few sessions, and that you're mean and they're possibly better off without you.

And of course, I could be absolutely wrong about everything stated in the second paragraph... and that's part of my point. You can control, in leaving, exactly what they're possibly right or wrong in thinking, but you can't control their thoughts being right or wrong (and i say this in relation to your thoughts, not in a "absolute capitaltee Truth" way). The moment you open the floor to discourse or plant the seeds of contention in the group, it's all thrown to the wind. They might just accept your comments with class, they might blow up, they might heckle you for the next few days as they consider your wisdom and comments little more than cowardly "I'm leaving and oh as the door hitsmyassyouguysarebadforthefollowingreasonandalthoughIdidn'twant (gasp) totellyouanythingthatwouldupsetyouIdidjustsohappento (gasp) createthislistjustontheoffchanceyouwerecuriouswhyiwasleaving." comments said by someone who could neither handle the social implications of your group's different playing styles or personalities nor deal with the potential backlash of such statements. Again, neither of which may be the case.

So, to make a repetitive stance concise (and cookies to you if you are a person who reads the bottom line first), just bow out gracefully and if necessary chalk it up to something impersonal like "I don't think my playstyle matches everyone elses, but thank you for the good times anyway." Go beyond that at your own peril.

 

[Telperion]

This is slightly off-topic, but something that I have noticed about myself:

I tend not to stick around in any one particular group for no more than a couple of years. Three years being the longest that I played with one group. I GM fairly much, so I can control the "who and when" I play with.

There's a university practically next door, and they have a good RPG-club there, so I use it to recruit new players. In this way I have already played with a whole lot of players during the, nearly, four years that I have lived in this city. And I think it a good strategy, because while creating a new group from, basically, scratch every other year or so is a lot of work it also pays off.

A new group is usually free of prejudice.

There are no favorites, since no one knows each other well.

You can quit the group without creating mortal enemies.

You don't burn that many bridges when you turn down people you don't know in the first place.

Of course doing it this way creates a bit more work for the GM. and for the players as well, but it can also be a great experience. Think about it: a new campaign and a new gaming group each time. I prefer this option, although I know some people don't like me because of this attitude. Well, you can't please everyone...

And I do take old players into my group, when I start a new campaign. It's just that the balance of the group tends to be towards new players. Still, some players seem to like my style and they stick around. I don't mind, as long as they don't become a problem.

 

[Darklone]

Tell them to get a new DM or do like they did before gaming: Sitting in the pub all night.

 

[Psion]

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

 

[Jeph]

Be honest, up front, and timely.

That is all.
--Jeff