How do you like your orcs?

[palleomortis]

Want me to repeat it?

 

[Desdichado]

Want me to repeat it?

Nah, you need to up the ante on imaginative recipes now.

 

[the Jester]

Grunts version by Mary Gentle

Best story about orcs EVAR.

Halflings, too, frankly.

 

[Patryn of Elvenshae]

I am sick to death of orcs. I die a little death on the inside when I play in a campaign, and it revolves around orcs rising up in a conflict against humans.

That's why I like Eberron orcs.

They're shamans and druids, living in the blasted outlands, keeping the seals of the daelkyr functioning and the rakshasas entombed.

 

[John Morrow]

One race of ugly nasty is enough for a campaign world.

In my current campaign, the orcs are in the same branch of races that humans and elves are in while the goblinoids are a distinct branch. That's why there are half-orcs but not half-goblins. Another distinction is that orcs are evil by culture while goblinoids are evil by nature. Put an orc in a nice school with nice parents and they'll probably grow up to be Neutral. Put a goblin in a nice school with nice parents and they'll grow up Evil just like they do in the wild. When I revise my campaign setting, I'm toying with the idea of making orcs more Neutral rather than Evil brutes.

 

[Steverooo]

(Semi-)Intelligent gorillas, with fangs, who like to beat on things. They can do metalwork, but prefer to have their slaves do it for them... They are fierce, brutal, and have a society (of sorts) which is barbaric. They are somewhat LotRish, but are a breed of Goblinoids, not a separate race.

 

[The Shaman]

Mark this as one of the few monsters in 3e that I like better than in any other edition.

My threepointoh campaign didn't have orcs (or kobolds or gnolls for that matter) - goblinoids ruled the world (well, the evil monstrous humanoid portion of it anyway).

For my next fantasy campaign 3.5 or C&C), I am restoring orcs to their place of nasty greatness, with a few twists yet to be determined but based on the 3e orcs.

 

[Tonguez]

I'm going Grunts style too

btw imc Orcs stand about 6'6" height with females being larger and healthier than males. They have tusks and jutting jaws but a relatively human-looking (sort of like a bulked up, extra ugly neanderthal cavemen* with a flattened nose)

IMC Orcs aren't stupid and I went all anthropologist as to why they are so savage. Ergo Orcs are matriarchal and young males are forced out of the clans at a young age to form wandering 'mobs'. The mobs are not allowed to settle down and tend to be violent and brutal (cf Lord of the Flies) - which is where the raiding orc stigma comes from. The female clans however are more neutral in character and claim a particular territory as their own. Mating between Orcs occurs as ritualised rape and no permanent bonds are formed

*in parts of my homebrew world Orcs are in fact considered human (albeit touched by the god of ugly creatures (ugly creatures = reptiles, sharks and abberations))

 

[Hellefire]

Flambeyed, with a light garlic sauce and some onion, then made into ice cream and served with some White Lightning.

Aaron

 

[John Q. Mayhem]

I like pretty much all of 'em. Not all at once, of course.