How Do you Say "No" to your PCs

[Waylander the Slayer]

This is one of the toughest things to do as a DM. I still have PCs grumbling about rulings i have made over a year ago ( such as no "quintessential" books for example). So how do the rest of you do it? Are you tactful? Blunt? wimpy??

 

[Drawmack]

I'm blunt, however we run the group as mostly a democracy. For example our rulling on the quint books is not unless we own one for every core class.

 

[bwgwl]

i've found that one of the best ways is to remind the players that the game is about your (as DM) enjoyment too. if allowing the players to do whatever they want in the game makes it worse for you, then they may soon be out of a DM.

hopefully you'll have players who are mature enough to understand this. DMing isn't a job; it's a hobby. i don't ever want my hobby to feel like work, if you know what i mean.

 

[Crothian]

I say no, and we all move on. If they ask for a reason I'm more then happy to explain it to them, but most of the time that's not needed.

 

[Ruined]

For me, a lot of it boils down to respect. I always try to be tactful with my players and think decisions through before making rash judgements. Because of that, I expect the players to respect my decisions when I say something is not allowed in the context of the game. I take a lot of effort and pride to produce enjoyable games, and if I feel something is unbalanced, I'll let the players know. It's worked well for me thus far.

Big factors I would stress to your players:
1) You'll consider anything they seriously want you to look at, but that doesn't mean yes or no;
2) You're impartial. You won't let Player A take an option whereas you'll disallow it for Player C because they're a munchkin.

One last thing - it's good to set these rules up as early as possible and stick to them. If you set a precedent for not allowing material from brand-new books into the existing campaign, you don't have to worry about these new feats from Savage Species, etc.

 

[Arnwyn]

For my particular group, I'm blunt. Blunt as all heck. (And I often throw in the phrase "pie-hole" for emphasis.) But we're all friends and know each other pretty well, so that helps a lot.

I make sure that I *always* give justification for my decisions, and clearly explain them to the players. I also listen to their responses, and ask them to justify and explain why they think something should be allowed or disallowed. I've discovered forcing the players to do all the explaining and work saves me a lot of pain right from the get-go (as they often find their justification ends up sounding like "cause I get l33t kewl skillz", and they immediate quit asking once they realize what they're saying).

(Examples of justification includes everything from "I don't own a copy of that book" - this is my policy made clear long long ago; I, as DM, must own my own personal copy of whatever book is allowed in the game - to "questionable balance and clearly insufficient playtesting", to "it doesn't fit the world that we've been playing for, what, 11 years? Haven't you figured that out yet, monkey-boy? Shut your pie-hole!" )

 

[EricNoah]

Shut your pie-hole!

That's what I usually tell 'em.

Seriously, though, I find that a) I'll say yes to just about anything and b) my players don't ask for the moon and stars, and c) they totally understand if one of their choices isn't working out that we'll try scaling it back or changing it.

 

[Sagan Darkside]

I don't say no to the PC- I say it to the player.

So how do the rest of you do it? Are you tactful? Blunt? wimpy??

It depends on the situation, but I try not to say no.

If the player is excited about something, then I would rather take advantage of that excitement and compromise in a way to work it into my campeign.

That is preferable to them feeling like they are settling on some lesser choice- this only leads to resentment in the long run.

The compromise process may involve rethinking parts of my campeign, but it is not as if my campeign is some holy art work that can not be altered.

It may also involve finding out what excites them about what they want to do- and altering it to fit into my campeign.

In the end- if I made efforts to compromise and it did not work out, then I just say something along the lines that I would rather not have the item in question introduced in my campeign.

I have had dm's who made no effort to compromise. They only dm'd for me once.

SD

 

[Berk]

Simple, if I don't think it would be good then you just sound out the word "No". Repeat after me, Nnnnnnooooooo. See? Simple isn't it? Seriously, I guess I am kinda blunt about it. I just say no. If a reason is asked I explain.

 

[Nifft]

I'll make an effort to work almost anything in. It might not be available immediately, it might require a quest or six, it might have some serious drawbacks -- including taking a custom PrC which gives few other benefits -- but in the end, nearly anything can be balanced and worked in.

So, I try not to say "No". I try to say, "Let's discuss how you're going to try to research / locate / otherwise earn that spell!"

-- Nifft