How Do you Say "No" to your PCs

[Henry]

Then I make them fetch me a soda, and I beat them with a large stick.

I see. And how long have you been a part of hong's gaming group?

 

[Jeph]

When I say 'no' to a player's request, I can usually get away with a well-elaborated paragraph if lucky. If it's not my day, only a thesis paper will do the trick.

Seriously, though, I have some pretty mule-headed players. When I said I was thinking about running a Rokugan game, one wanted to play a halfling. And kept pestering me for MONTHS. When I thought about running RttToEE, same character wanted to play a specific species of halfling that didn't exist in my world, and again, I was pestered for MONTHS. He's not as bad as he used to be, though, as he noticed that the pestering for MONTHS wasn't actually getting him anywhere.

 

[Templetroll]

I've found that saying no and giving a reason will usually settle the issue. Our group, circa '79-'84, had about 8 DMs with everyone running a homebrew campaign at one time or another. We had enough respect for each other to accept decisions with minimal fuss. We also understood that every one of us was a pig-headed fool that would never listen to reason so it was useless to argue.

The DM of our current campaign is very open to role-playing requests but will usually say no to min/max requests. The more min/max he percieves it to be the more sarcastic the no becomes. Anyone who wants to complain is deemed a whiner and offered the opportunity to leave. It sounds bad but it's actually not since he works hard to make the game fun for us as well as himself.

 

[Quickbeam]

I listen to their requests and the reasons behind them. Then I assess what I'm being asked to permit or allow, and how it will affect game balance and everyone's enjoyment. If I perceive a problem looming on the horizon, I say no. If things seem like they'll proceed without complication, I say yes.

I'm usually direct and firm with my replies, but not rude. If one of the players wants to discuss the matter further, we wait until after the session is over and continue the discussion. I don't change my mind often, but I have been known to compromise and amend my original decision.

 

[alsih2o]

i think it also important to exam the questions and requests of oyur players after a decision has been made- yes or no.

i think everytime the players ask for somethign it si a message about what kind of world they wanna play in. players who want their characters to have spiked magic amor and 4 ft long swords that weigh 3 lbs and sing are probably gonna get tired of your well crafted mystery in the courts.

i think a lot of the conflicts that arise between players and d.m.'s comes down to the fact that there are frequently not enuf "peer" discussions. talking ot your players ocassionally as a group and individually to get their responses can help to avoid a lot of these situations before they arise, it is the d.m.'s game, but it is everyones game.

 

[baradtgnome]

set game limits at the beginning

At the game start, here is what I allow... (books, classes, races etc)

I may allow others, see me before assuming...

Please respect my decision if I say NO. I might say no for game balance, or consistancy with my world. Or because I am an egomanical control freak. Mwah, ha, ha, ha.

If you would like to DM, I would like to play. You decide what gets to be in your world and I will whine for a while.

Our game group is small and we usually interview before allowing others in. The DM role is tough, so rule 0 is supreme and although we allow discussion, the DM gets final word.

I can see where this would be tough for a different game situation.

 

[Guilt Puppy]

You chaps are nuts! First you have them purchase you a copy of the book they want to use (since you dont have it... if you do return it for store credit).

After you've examined the book THEN you say no.

What turnip truck did you fall off of?

(Apologies if that was somehow more sarcastic than I thought, and I missed the boat, but: )

God, I hate that point of view.

First, I've never "had" anyone purchase a copy of the book. They all know beforehand that any supplements they buy are subject to my approval.

Second, that's the Magic: The Gathering outlook on gaming: You become more powerful in-game by spending more money out-of-game. This I despise, and is actually part of the reason I do tend to disallow non-core books (especially in things like PbP games, where bought books can't be passed around), so that the playing field is level, regardless of how much you're willing to spend.

In practice, I tend to be a little lenient and allow a bit more if someone spent money on it, not because I think they deserve an advantage, but because I don't want them to feel like they've wasted their money. But that's me being nice, it's not something they're entitled to.