Clearly, both you and triqui (and, I am sure, others) have had problems with these issues. I (and, I am sure, others) have not. Your problems are real. Changing the ruleset to remove them is not only a good solution, it is the best solution I know of. I change rulesets to make them more comfortable to my playstyle, too.
But just as your problems are real, the lack of problems others experience is also real. It depends on both the material, and your approach to the material.
Sure, we can agree on that. Magic overshadowing everything else is mostly a thing about the players. Probably I wont have a problem DMing your players, and probably you would DMing mine (specially some magic-lover power-gamer sorceror that loves to sink pirate ships with half a dozen spells on him to start with). I DMed 3.0 and 3.5 for a long time, and lot of times, we didn't have a problem (although, to be fair, lot of times we played in "Conan style" worlds, were magic was inexistant, or controlled by plot. But a couple standard high fantasy as well, including in "world of warcraft world", and mainly without issues that you can notice). However, some other times, the problems arised. So I chosed to move to a system that control that by default, instead of needing myself twisting everything so Magic does not disrupt the game (I'm morally against heavy handweaving and DM whim. If players get a good idea that get my guard low, they deserve victory, and not a simple "no that does not work, becouse I don't like it".)
Agree. I jumped into this thread becouse of the tittle. While there is no such thing as "wrong fun", and your approach is absolutelly valid as soon as all (and not only the ones that cast spells) agree with it and have fun, everything s fine. However, to answer to the OP, in fiction, there is no such thing as "magic is better". Most of time, magic is not what we see in D&D or other high fantasy RPG (as Rolemaster or Runequest).. In most fiction, Magic is part of the plot, not the characters (as Gandalf), is part of the evil problem (Thulsa Doom), or is "on par" with Martial Characters (Achilles, Beowulf, Hercules...), or, even the main character is a powerful caster (like Elric), it doesn't have a lot of "shortcutting" spells. So, in my opinion, 4e serves better than 3e to *simulate* fantasy fiction. 0e to 3e serves better to simulate "D&D fiction" -such as Forgotten Realms novels-, mainly becouse D&D fiction is based on it.And there is no such thing as an objectively better approach (although some material may be objectively better for your approach than other material).