How keen is too keen?

[russiannick]

Does someone magically become mature when they are 30? I don't know. I have 3 more years before I can play d&d with you. I get 'no kids' but it seems there are plenty of mature players in their 20's, and plenty of really creepy men in their early 30s. Just seems you are shooting yourself in the foot by putting an age limit on a 'looking for 'gamers' post. Wouldn't it be better to say 'looking for experienced players' or 'multi-edition' players? Or make THAC0 jokes?

 

[Kzach]

I get 'no kids' but it seems there are plenty of mature players in their 20's, and plenty of really creepy men in their early 30s.

I'm one of those creepy men. Putting up an advertisement to hang with young people just attracts unwanted police attention.

 

[Janx]

Oh I wouldn't have minded that and, in fact, encourage it. When I'm in a long-term group, I usually end up being the one to make a forum especially for the group and actively encourage players to discuss things. I'm even disappointed when they DON'T.

But this wasn't a discussion or back'n'forth. This was a, "OMG CAN I PLAY WID U I WANNA PLAY SO DESPRAYT PLZ LET ME PLAY I DO ANYTHING 2 PLAY!!!!!!" kinda thing.

And thats why I'm a bit puzzled by the responses from some folks of "why not give the kid a chance?"

The point of a filtering process is to weed out potential problems. The point is to minimize the risk when you DO take a chance. If you ignore your own criteria at the 1st tier (the initial email contact), then you defeat the purpose of carefully evaluating.

it's like asking the hot babe why she doesn't even consider going out with any of the creepy guys who hit on her at the bar. Because she has a standard and does not NEED to take the first offer she gets.

The risk to giving somebody a chance is manifold. They might be criminals. They might attract bad people to you. They might hurt your family. if things end badly, they might be unstable and harrass you.

You could say that about any one of your current friends. But usually, to be your friend for long enough, they've probably not give you a wierd vibe or exhibited any of those problems. Why bring somebody new into your life without any checking, or even a gut check. I can tell a lot about somebody from even an email.

 

[Hussar]

Does someone magically become mature when they are 30? I don't know. I have 3 more years before I can play d&d with you. I get 'no kids' but it seems there are plenty of mature players in their 20's, and plenty of really creepy men in their early 30s. Just seems you are shooting yourself in the foot by putting an age limit on a 'looking for 'gamers' post. Wouldn't it be better to say 'looking for experienced players' or 'multi-edition' players? Or make THAC0 jokes?

Sure, that's true. I play with a couple of great ones.

However, there is the real life issues as well. Gamers in their 30's often have kids and their free time gets eaten up by family obligations. Trying to bring in a younger gamer to your house when the game gets interrupted every few minutes by crying babies can be a problem. The older gamers possibly are a bit more understanding because they're in the same boat.

And, people in their 20's often aren't at a really stable point in their lives - they don't have full time permanent jobs (often) and things like that. It's quite possible that 20ish gamer is going to have to leave fairly shortly to pursue a job or other real life issues. If you're looking to create a long term group, the age thing might be a place to start.

Nothing here is saying that 20ish gamers are all a bunch of social troglodytes. That's not true. And there are lots of 30+ gamers who I certainly wouldn't want in my living room. But, you do have to start somewhere.

 

[JiffyPopTart]

But this wasn't a discussion or back'n'forth. This was a, "OMG CAN I PLAY WID U I WANNA PLAY SO DESPRAYT PLZ LET ME PLAY I DO ANYTHING 2 PLAY!!!!!!" kinda thing.

Disclaimer: General post here, nothing specific to this potential gamer.

My daughter just turned 13 and was granted access to the wonderful world of Facebook. In real life she is intelligent and capable of good conversation (when not yelling at us for being the worst parents in the world). Online (and via texting) she almost exclusively "talks" like the person above.

I think that your worries about generation gap may be spot on. It is very possible that some folks in their early twenties are still holding onto their learned communication modes.

If you were at a spot where you simply needed more gamers then I would have suggested you go out to dinner with the established gang and the new guy to see how you jibe in a social situation. If you are at a spot where you just want to get a great group and have a laid back adult game then I think you made the decision that I would have.

I wouldn't necessarily correlate the idiot teenspeak and short attention span with the inabillity to be a different person "in person".

DS

 

[S'mon]

I wouldn't necessarily correlate the idiot teenspeak and short attention span with the inabillity to be a different person "in person".

DS

Surely the inability to turn off the text-speak and communicate in Queen's English by email to a fellow adult is a sign of immaturity? Your daughter is 13 and may be mature for her age; but if someone is still doing that at age 18+ then IMO they do show a relative lack of maturity.