How keen is too keen?

[DrunkonDuty]

Briarmonkey wrote:
The whole email thing I would wager is somewhat cultural. The young now-a-days have never really had to deal with things like not having a cell phone (much less a "smart" phone), having a dial-up connection, not having Facebook, having a landline (much less a rotary phone), not having an email address, and actually using snail mail. They tend to be mostly "twitch-interneters" and expect things in near real-time. (Heck, if we had "real-time" anything while I was in the service it was as though a miracle happened!) They tend to not realize that things move differently in the real world - especially when dealing with people that have real world commitments and don't feel the need to be connected 24/7.

My girl friend is a fair bit younger than me; at 25 she's nearly the same age as the guy in question. And yeah, we do have a bit of this connectivity dissonance briarmonkey describes. She's gotten used to me not keeping my phone on me 24/7 (and I don't even have a smart phone) or looking at my facebook more than once a week. But when we started dating earlier this year she initially thought I was ignoring her because I didn't answer every text/facebook up date/ etc. immediately with a mini-essay.

Mmmm, somewhere along the line I've fallen on the wrong side of a generation gap.

 

[Tequila Sunrise]

Emailing a stranger to ask "why haven't you replied to me?" within 12 hours? That's a big red flag. By all means, invite him to that interview, but I foresee extreme social ineptitude.

 

[TarionzCousin]

For the record, I'm trying to create a long-term, stable, regular gaming group with similar play-styles to my own.

Ask him about his grocery-buying techniques. His answer will tell you all you need to know.

 

[Dice4Hire]

Or ask him his username on a forum or two....

But that might be a bit much.

 

[BlackMoria]

Or you could, you know, go through the selection process trying to be completely unbiased about it.

You have already stated you intent to meet prospects at your gaming shop. Arrange for a short one shot game session at the store gaming table, invite him and some of the other prospects to the session and run the adventure.

Afterwards, you will either confirm your initial impressions or the guy surprises you. Either way, you can tell him is either in or out.

Most people will take rejection as long as they feel they participated in a fair process and they didn't make the cut. Where hurt feelings come into play is when people get kicked to the curb without them feeling they had a chance to influence the decision making.

In short, I would do the above and give the person a shot at it. You are only wasting a few hours of your time at the game store, running a one shot for other prospects anyhow....

 

[Ahnehnois]

If someone is actively trying to join your group, it is incumbent on that person to persuade you that he will fit in. The original post suggests that this person is not off to a good start in that regard. I would suggest dealing with this person skeptically, if at all.

As others have said, trust your instincts.

 

[Kzach]

I turned him down gently and also offered an option he may not have known about previously, ie. Living games and Encounters at game stores (he'd never played before and was quite literally begging to join the group just so that he could get to play). He might've been a nice kid for all I know, but I wasn't willing to deal with his level of obsession. I say obsession because I'm pretty sure that if you saw the emails, you'd agree it was above just being keen.

Besides which, I want to play with people who EXPERIENCED the 80's, rather than those who just reference the pop culture around them.

 

[S'mon]

I turned him down gently and also offered an option he may not have known about previously, ie. Living games and Encounters at game stores (he'd never played before and was quite literally begging to join the group just so that he could get to play). He might've been a nice kid for all I know, but I wasn't willing to deal with his level of obsession. I say obsession because I'm pretty sure that if you saw the emails, you'd agree it was above just being keen.

Besides which, I want to play with people who EXPERIENCED the 80's, rather than those who just reference the pop culture around them.

OK, you did the right thing.

 

[Janx]

Or you could, you know, go through the selection process trying to be completely unbiased about it.
....

he did go through the selection process. Step one was read the requirements in the ad and send an inquiry.

The boy's method of inquiry and qualifications failed the first filter of Step 1.

There's no need to promote him to Step 2, actually meeting him.

It's no different in the job market. I look look at resumes sent to me and keep all the ones that impress me. The rest all failed Step 1 and do not get to waste my time with an interview.

 

[olshanski]

Your initial request said 30 or older.
I'd respond to the guy with an email that said "Sorry, I was only looking for people 30 and older. If I decide to change my criteria, I'll keep you in mind and contact you.
Good luck with finding a game."

The fact that the person repeatedly contacted you is icing on the cake, telling you that you've made the right decision. Heck, if you were open to people ages 20 and up I'd still refuse to see this person.