How much is too much?

[Squnk]

As I keep stating, I'm a noob, been playing d&d 3e for about four months now. This being my first experience with tabletop gaming. I've just found myself becoming very obsessed with playing, especially in the last couple months. I'm on average buying 2-3 books a week, constantly online reading and posting on RPG forums, always trying to get a game going with my group almost every break, and honestly spending the majority of my day thinking of ways to develop my characters or just about the d&d world in general. It really seems like I can't get enough.

This hasn't had any major negative effect on my relationship with my wife, work, or my life YET. I'm just not sure if this is just the initial excitement of finding a awesome new hobby that seem to strike the rite chord with me or possibly the starting of a serious problem?

I was hoping to get some input, hear about other people's life experiences, and find out how much tabletop games play a role in your life? So just how much is too much?

 

[ValhallaGH]

If it gets in the way of your other commitments then it's too much. Otherwise, have fun.
That said, I've repeatedly sustained four games a week (running two, playing two) for about 9 months at a stretch, when one of the games ended / fell apart and I was reduced to three a week.

I would advise you to reign in the spending. Nothing ticks off the significant other faster than sinking thousands of dollars into a hobby and then only using a couple hundred dollars-worth of it. (And you'll look back on it and shake your head as well.)

If you don't have kids, or a need to look for work, then three a week is the practical limit for most folks. Gaming at that rate will replace most of your other leisure activities (TV, reading, etc.), and usually requires having two or more separate gaming groups to prevent player burn-out (so start building that gaming circle).

If your wife gets upset, find out what part of it bothers her and adjust. If it's the time then cut back to spend more time with her, if it's your obsession then cut back and pick up other hobbies again, if it's the money then cut off your spending and enjoy what you've already got (and 2.5 books a week for two months is ~20 books, or the size of my entire 3.x library after a decade of playing). If she just wants you to stop then you have some big decisions to make.


Good luck and have fun.

 

[OnlineDM]

Great question! I started playing D&D about nine months ago myself, and my experience has been similar to yours. I didn't buy quite as many books, but I did buy several and I devoured them. I was thrilled when I discovered EN World and I regularly follow several of the forums here.

I was a little frustrated that my in-person group was only able to get together about once every other week, and I started playing occasionally in organized games at my local store (I play D&D4e, so it's Living Forgotten Realms). I started blogging about my experiences when I volunteered to run a game online for myself and some friends across the country.

I started an online game with strangers far and wide (I'm in Colorado and my players are from both coasts of the US plus South Dakota and Indiana, and one person is in England). I've been running that game most weeks for about four months now (we just finished our eleventh session last night).

I started DMing for my local group (we've been taking turns). I also DM occasionally for the games at my local store. I also spent a weekend DMing and playing at a local convention over Labor Day weekend. In the process, I bought a projector so that I can run games using MapTool on my laptop and projecting the map onto the table.

Is it too much? Well, I'd say I'm maxed out right now. Running two games at once is a strain. I don't think I can do it for too long. I don't get to play much any more, which is something I miss. It hasn't interfered with work or family, but part of the latter is because my wife plays with me for my in-person game.

Now, I will say that I found D&D after I had intentionally given up my previous hobby (Magic: The Gathering). I was looking for a hobby that I could really dive into, and D&D fit the bill nicely. I bowl and I like to watch certain football teams, but aside from that D&D is my only major hobby. If I had lots of other hobbies, I would probably feel like I was neglecting them. But I don't, so this works nicely for me.

 

[Troll Slayer]

Enjoy the high that a good hobby brings man! Just don't let it overshadow your family because they'll actually be there for you, when the fun isn't. When it comes to your personal free time, it pays to trust your heart.

Definitely dial back the spending a bit though IMO. I'm a compulsive game book buyer (in recovery) and as much as I like all my books, they take up a lot of space and 65% will never get used. Just the fact that you're asking if 2-3 books a week is too much, means somewhere deep down, you think that it is. When it comes to money, it pays to trust your gut.

My most recent book purchase was a hard to find WFRP book via Ebay. The beauty was I took a week to mull it over and didn't even bother to bid until the last few hours. In the end, I got a good deal and my gut was telling me, "Go for it!" Plus during the time mulling it over, I was able to really dig in and decide whether the info in the book would be useful to my game. Do I want a larger Skaven presence in my campaign? Once I was sure my answer was yes, I made my bid and won. Taking my time deciding has been the easiest way to reign in my spending.

In my experience, if you buy books impulsively one of two things can often happen: a) you lose interest in the game/character/campaign because of all the new cool ideas found in the new book, or b) you realize the book you bought is either badly written, or it's fun to read but you'll likely never use any of it. One of the worst things you can do as a GM is try to hammer new ideas into your game just because you spent money on a new book.

 

[nedjer]

It took a few weeks for my wife to adjust to me wearing Viking costume, braiding my hair and waxing my moustache. Then there was a certain amount of grumbling when I converted the basement into the Mines of Moria at a very reasonable cost of $50K.

The switch from car to chariot went better though, as this friendly fellow next door said she could get a lift with him whenever she needed one. That pretty much gave me the go-ahead to arrange week long Ars Magica all nighters, as by then the wife was happy to pop round to the neighbour's whenever she felt a bit lonely . . .

 

[the Jester]

If it gets in the way of your other commitments then it's too much.

This. If it negatively impacts other areas of your life, you should cut back. If you're having a blast and your life is in order, game on!

 

[Ulrick]

What you're doing right now would be too much for me. I've simply got too much on plate right now to justify such time commitment.

I did the same thing when I starting playing. I wanted everything.

My advice, just slow down a bit on your purchases. Believe me, you won't use everything (but some of it is damn good read, isn't it?). Back in the heyday of 2nd Edition, I remember buying a Ravenloft boxed set "Castles Forlorn." I devoured it. But then I thought: "It'll take me 4-6 months to integrate this into my campaign, and I have all these other adventures I'd like to run. What to do?"

Now I have more gaming books and miniatures than I'll ever need. I love my extensive gaming library that features every edition of D&D, WFRP, WoD, Star Wars d6, MERP, and print editions of both Dungeon and Dragon magazines. I love them all, and I do not regret buying a single item...









...until I have to move.

 

[Squnk]

I do admit I need to cut back on the books, I wanted to have a decent collection right away as opposed to just taking my time. Excitement can get the best of me.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only person who has gone maybe a little overboard with d&d, it makes me feel comfortable hearing how people can be so involved with the hobby but still manage the rest of their life's as well. I just got a little paranoid when I was wondering more about how to build my scout character than anything else throughout the day.

Does anyone have any horror stories of anyone who was addicted to a tabletop game?

Thanks to all for the help!

 

[Janx]

In high school and college, my group played about twice a month.

One of our group was addicted though. He'd spend all his time making characters and such. After HS, he'd skip classes and drive the two hours to my school to talk about gaming and such. He bought every D&D product TSR made.

Personally, in 2e, I bought every rulebook (not campaign stuff). That was still a lot, but the release rate was slow enough, and I could easily afford a new book a month. In 3e, I cut it do just buying books I needed for something I was actively playing. Which mostly meant after the PH, DMG, and MM, I was done. For me, I simply realized that I wasn't using the books I bought, and had wasted money. So I stopped.

Meanwhile, my friend, who's parents had objected to him playing D&D so he snuck out to do it, married a girl who objected to D&D. He pretty much vanished until recently, he appeared at my old DM's place, hat in hand, and as was described to me " sounded like a recovering alcoholic who admits having had a problem, but can handle it now, and was just looking for a drink."

Is gaming addiction as bad as drug abuse? Probably not. But it can make you waste time and money, and hurt relationships.

 

[khantroll]

The answer to the question of what is too much is just what everyone has said: too much is more then your situation can bare. If you can do your job, pay your bills, spend time with your family, and still afford to by the books and play that much, then you are alright. If you can't, it is time to re-evaluate.

That being said, I'll bet your recent book buying is just enthusiasm for a new hobby, and I would personally slack off. If you find you really burn through that much content, start buying again. More likely, you'll see you don't really need or want them. I can tell you that, as a group, we burn through a lot of material, and between six members we have A LOT of books. That includes two collectors, though, and one guy who buys almost exclusively PDFs.

As for the thinking about it a lot...that's going to happen. A perfect illustration is presented in "The Gamers: Dorkness Rising". They do a montage toward the end where everyone is shown gearing up for the game. One girl pretends to have her pole arm from the game; another does some masochistic, kung-fu training. While most people don't go to those extreme, this is a game about possibilities and creativity.

I can remember gaming in high school (man, am I old). We gamed on Saturdays. Sunday would be a sleep day, Monday we would discuss what happened, laugh and joke. Tuesday it would peter out, and Wednesday we would be busy. Thursday, though, we'd be wistfully thinking about playing. Friday we would plan, and Saturday we would game. Two of us were slightly worse then the others, thanks to the internet. We both had forums that we posted on regularly on the subject, and you might as well say that took up our Wednesday.

Now it is similar, but we go drinking on Friday.