How to deal with goblins

[krissbeth]

So, my chaotic good bard character just acquired a ship with a goblin crew.

The problem is that she thinks that goblins have human rights and thinks that they should be treated fairly even though they're rambunctious, evil little monsters. There's also the "they're so ugly they're cute" thing (or "chihuhua syndrome") going on. She saved them from being hanged and is now responsible for them all (there's about seven of them). One is kind of the "alpha" goblin and it's fairly easy to communicate with him without too many tears of frustration.

Does anyone think it's possible to "humanely train" goblins to be a non-murderous, non-mutinous crew or is this girl too good for her own good?

 

[Wolfwood2]

So, my chaotic good bard character just acquired a ship with a goblin crew.

The problem is that she thinks that goblins have human rights and thinks that they should be treated fairly even though they're rambunctious, evil little monsters. There's also the "they're so ugly they're cute" thing (or "chihuhua syndrome") going on. She saved them from being hanged and is now responsible for them all (there's about seven of them). One is kind of the "alpha" goblin and it's fairly easy to communicate with him without too many tears of frustration.

Does anyone think it's possible to "humanely train" goblins to be a non-murderous, non-mutinous crew or is this girl too good for her own good?

Way too many setting-specific assumptions to say. Ask your DM.

Knowledge: Local checks would help you understand goblin culture.

Diplomacy checks would help them accept your character as the new "alpha".

All in all, this is a problem you have concocted for yourself (presumably because you thought it would be fun to play out). My advice is to just let the DM throw out whatever difficulties he wants and deal with them as they come up. No need for elaborate planning.

 

[Gilladian]

Are they adults? and they're evil already? I think she's bitten off more than she can chew. They're going to try her constantly. They'll push the boundaries and defy her and simply act out on their evil natures. If she's VERY lucky she might get ONE of them to begin to understand that evil is not as "successful" a life-strategy as good (or at least neutral) behavior. But I doubt it.

I have a similar situation in that my players taught a local group of Kobolds how to barter instead of stealing chickens. But soon the kobolds will run out of coppers, and then who knows what will happen...

 

[Nifft]

Does anyone think it's possible to "humanely train" goblins to be a non-murderous, non-mutinous crew or is this girl too good for her own good?

In my game? No. In my game, goblins are the creation of demons -- they are twisted versions of Fey, tainted before birth by Abyssal energies.

Your campaign probably varies.

Cheers, -- N

 

[krissbeth]

Are they adults? and they're evil already? I think she's bitten off more than she can chew. They're going to try her constantly. They'll push the boundaries and defy her and simply act out on their evil natures. If she's VERY lucky she might get ONE of them to begin to understand that evil is not as "successful" a life-strategy as good (or at least neutral) behavior. But I doubt it.

I have a similar situation in that my players taught a local group of Kobolds how to barter instead of stealing chickens. But soon the kobolds will run out of coppers, and then who knows what will happen...

I believe they're adults and they've previously worked with pirates, so murder's been a part of the job. We've managed to get a Pelorite to get on board and be a religious guide for them (HAAAA!!!).

"It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

Way too many setting-specific assumptions to say. Ask your DM.

Knowledge: Local checks would help you understand goblin culture.

Diplomacy checks would help them accept your character as the new "alpha".

All in all, this is a problem you have concocted for yourself (presumably because you thought it would be fun to play out). My advice is to just let the DM throw out whatever difficulties he wants and deal with them as they come up. No need for elaborate planning.

Just as a note as to the goblin culture we're going with: They're the Paizo model of goblin. You know, with the "We the goblins, you the food!" song.

I'm not really looking for elaborate plans, just goblin-ish advice and finding out if anyone's had characters interact with goblins or work with them without having to smack them around.

ETA: Also, she's got this whole "society made them this way/goblins are people too" weirdness.

 

[theemrys]

Well, the interesting thing is that if the goblins are "by the book" then they'd be LE in alignment... which makes for an interesting mix with a CG captain... While the captain wants to treat them well and give them "freedoms", they would probably respond better to harsh rules to which individual rights are unimportant...

 

[Kae'Yoss]

No problem. Just feed them enough babies and they're gentle as a lamb.

 

[blargney the second]

To keep them in line, turn them against each other subtly. Then they won't cooperate to stab you in the middle of the night.

 

[Voadam]

Does anyone think it's possible to "humanely train" goblins to be a non-murderous, non-mutinous crew or is this girl too good for her own good?

Helm of opposite alignment will turn them non-mutinous.

But this is D&D, don't you want a band of murderous henchmen willing to do your bidding? Youre a bard, one of your strongest combat ability is buffing up a big group, the bigger the better the benefit. Be their leader and direct them to fight evil foes and do your work while ordering them not to attack or harm "the captain's people". You have a ton of social skills (presumably) to handle getting them to do what you want if you assert yourself to the task given these circumstances.

Since they are Paizo goblins, set them against opponent dogs and horses so as to get on their good side.

 

[mmadsen]

Naturally, the goblins would see her kindness as weakness. "Gorkk talked back -- and she didn't do a thing! We'll be running this ship in a fortnight!"